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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why some people won’t take no for an answer when offering food

32 replies

rhereyago · 28/06/2026 20:23

I was recently in the same area as my mums family; had my five year old with me. I’d arranged to call in.

They offered me a drink; fine, lovely. Then decided they were going to make fish fingers, chips and peas for us. I tried everything to stop them! I explained numerous times we were doing to a restaurant afterwards, dc was quite looking forward to it, but they just ignored us and we both ended up with an unappetising meal neither of us wanted Confused

Why do people do this? I’ve known others like this who just don’t take no for an answer and give you food you don’t want. Pretty much the entirety of the visit was spent with me trying to get them to stop them making food for us so didn’t even get to chat.

AIBU? I don’t think I am, but …

OP posts:
ClematisBirdbath · 28/06/2026 20:42

rhereyago · 28/06/2026 20:37

Walk out after five minutes? I guess I could have but it felt horribly rude although I do actually think it’s rude to make a meal for someone who doesn’t want it, so I get your point. It was just so frustrating - she was hustling around saying ‘now then I won’t take no …’ and I’m saying ‘PLEASE don’t!’

Show quote history

Well, this is just me, but with people like that I just say 'Stop.' Very firmly, but not shouting. It just stops them dead in their tracks.

Then you can say what you have to say. 'You are not listening to me. We are going to a restaurant. We will not be having food here. You have some if you want to, that's fine, but no we will not be eating here.' With a firm voice and a smile, if you must.

If you can't say things like this to your own family, OP, then you may have bigger problems than just a meal you don't want.

Also, how can you be 'rude' to your own family? Just say what you need to say!

TinyTempest · 28/06/2026 20:41

You’re not a helpless damsel.

They refused to listen so you should have refused to eat it.

Especially given you told them you were going out to eat.

ShetlandishMum · 28/06/2026 20:38

rhereyago · 28/06/2026 20:37

Walk out after five minutes? I guess I could have but it felt horribly rude although I do actually think it’s rude to make a meal for someone who doesn’t want it, so I get your point. It was just so frustrating - she was hustling around saying ‘now then I won’t take no …’ and I’m saying ‘PLEASE don’t!’

Show quote history

Boundries.

Original poster
rhereyago · 28/06/2026 20:37

ShetlandishMum · 28/06/2026 20:27

Why not leave for the restaurant?

Walk out after five minutes? I guess I could have but it felt horribly rude although I do actually think it’s rude to make a meal for someone who doesn’t want it, so I get your point. It was just so frustrating - she was hustling around saying ‘now then I won’t take no …’ and I’m saying ‘PLEASE don’t!’

OP posts:
ClematisBirdbath · 28/06/2026 20:28

I think for a lot of people, food isn't just food. It's how they show love, how they communicate, how they fill gaps in conversation, how they justify eating themselves if they have to provide food for other people. Some people just have an odd relationship with food.

Also, some people don't listen. Ever. And some people won't take no for an answer.

This is your family, OP. Why do you think they did it? Why didn't you just refuse? Answer those questions, and you might find your reasons?

ShetlandishMum · 28/06/2026 20:27

Why not leave for the restaurant?

ImpatientlyWaitingForSummer · 28/06/2026 20:26

That’s annoying, I know it’s bad but I would’ve refused it, specifically because we would be eating later at a restaurant.

I know I can be a bit of a feeder and tend to offer a couple of times but even I would take the hint and stop asking and maybe just leave some biscuits out with tea/coffee just in case! The thought of actually making a full on meal for someone who explicitly said they didn’t want it is ludicrous