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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked that my good friend, 37, is seeing a 66 year old lady?

359 replies

darksideofthetoon · 28/06/2026 19:59

Had a few beers with a good friend recently and got a bit tipsy and we got into his dating life. He told me that he’s been seeing a 66 year old grandmother. He is only 37 for reference. They met via online dating.

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with this but I’m just a bit shocked to be honest. He says that they enjoy each other’s company and there is no intention of it developing into anything more.

My friend has always dated younger women and not short of female attention at all.

It’s all good right?

OP posts:
WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 28/06/2026 21:11

I’d assume he’s living out a fetish.

Gwenhwyfar · 28/06/2026 21:11

Arlanymor · 28/06/2026 21:03

Where did you get that from? I'm divorced it's pretty much last on the list of things left to do on the planet at this point! Once bitten, twice shy.

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Statistics rather than just you!

PintofFizz · 28/06/2026 21:05

Joan Collins husband is over 30 years younger than her and they've been happily together since 2000.

When she was asked about the age gap she replied, 'If he dies, he dies'.

A very charming way of telling everyone it's none of their business.

Pessismistic · 28/06/2026 21:04

Ha he’s probably learning a lot from her also she must be very energetic for a man that age to keep going back.

LondonLass2026 · 28/06/2026 21:03

Just mind your own business. If you don't have a problem with it, why on earth are you "shocked" and wringing your hands on Mumsnet?

Arlanymor · 28/06/2026 21:03

Gwenhwyfar · 28/06/2026 20:48

"As a divorced woman she's unlikely to want to marry"

I thought divorced people were in general very keen to re-marry?

Where did you get that from? I'm divorced it's pretty much last on the list of things left to do on the planet at this point! Once bitten, twice shy.

shhblackbag · 28/06/2026 21:00

The man in my life with whom I was most compatible, in every way, was decades older than I. I will miss him always.

YABU. Your friend is almost 40 years old, not a young adult.

CamillaMcCauley · 28/06/2026 20:58

Gwenhwyfar · 28/06/2026 20:48

"As a divorced woman she's unlikely to want to marry"

I thought divorced people were in general very keen to re-marry?

Depends on what age they divorce. I’m 50 and like most of my mid-life divorced friends, have no desire to remarry. Men benefit far more from marriage in most cases and in situations where a woman has assets and no plans for more children, marriage is almost always more of a risk to her security than a benefit.

Pipsquiggle · 28/06/2026 20:58

@darksideofthetoon it sounds like they are friends with benefits which is fine if it's nothing more serious and both are on the same page.

I would judge if it was a serious relationship.
I think large age gaps tend to significantly benefit one person - usually the older one who has built up more wealth/ life skills / power than the younger one.
I am particularly concerned if the younger one is in their teens or 20s - obviously this isn't the case for your mate - so live and let live

OneNewEagle · 28/06/2026 20:58

That is a big age gap tbh but that’s up to them.

But it might develop and they could be very happy together. IRL I have a friend similar age to me. Her eldest son is roughly 36, we are both low 50s and her sons partner, so her DIL, is 65 so a 29 year age gap. He is younger than some of his partners children but they seem very happy together. over 6 years now. It just depends on personalities.

Sillyme1 · 28/06/2026 20:54

How would you feel if it was the other way round, I,e, woman aged 37 with a man in his 60s. Happens all the time in celebrity circles

Gwenhwyfar · 28/06/2026 20:51

Peacebwithu · 28/06/2026 20:48

Exactly this. I've mentioned madonna & Kylie Minogue before when considering older women & younger men. If she is anything like them he may not be able to keep up with her 💃😂

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Those are famous and multi-millionaires.

Peacebwithu · 28/06/2026 20:48

LasagneGoblin · 28/06/2026 20:10

Some men like much older women (Wayne Rooney anyone?) Some older women still have a raging libido and a lot of men their own age can't keep up. Cheers to them both, hope they're at it like rabbits on the daily.

Exactly this. I've mentioned madonna & Kylie Minogue before when considering older women & younger men. If she is anything like them he may not be able to keep up with her 💃😂

Gwenhwyfar · 28/06/2026 20:48

"As a divorced woman she's unlikely to want to marry"

I thought divorced people were in general very keen to re-marry?

BeMintFatball · 28/06/2026 20:48

Well I’m 60 and honestly couldn’t shag anyone young enough to be my son. It’s very icky

Nofeckingway · 28/06/2026 20:43

Not surprised. As an older woman , the sexual urge is there but most men in their 60s do slow down a bit . And anything older than definitely. So if I could find a 37 year old that I had sexual chemistry with and had a good time socially , why not ? As a divorced woman she's unlikely to want to marry , mix finances or live together . Sounds perfect . And as for one person wanting more , that can happen in any relationship.

Original poster
darksideofthetoon · 28/06/2026 20:41

HoppityBun · 28/06/2026 20:36

What’s the difference between that and just being friends? Sex?

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Yes, lots of it apparently.

OP posts:
Original poster
darksideofthetoon · 28/06/2026 20:41

Lexy2345 · 28/06/2026 20:19

I think it's a bit disrespectful of him to tell you all about their sex life. Is nothing private anymore? I'd be seriously pissed off if I had a younger boyfriend who then blabbed to his friend about what we got up to in private.
However, if they are both enjoying each other's company and there's no deceit involved, then there's nothing newsworthy about an age gap relationship of this nature.

I will never meet this woman. She has no interest in meeting me or any of his friends. She is very clear it’s just fun.

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 28/06/2026 20:36

darksideofthetoon · 28/06/2026 20:04

Yes but he’s been seeing her for a few months and they go on dates like hiking and trips away.

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What’s the difference between that and just being friends? Sex?

CamillaMcCauley · 28/06/2026 20:36

darksideofthetoon · 28/06/2026 20:32

He said they’re both clear that it’s just fun. She’s divorced and not interested in anything long term.

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It sounds like two clear-communicating and consenting adults are getting what they want.

Safarisagoody · 28/06/2026 20:36

choccytime · 28/06/2026 20:26

Well Madonna's 67 and all her boyfriends have been a lot younger

No they haven’t. Madonna has been single for a very long time, It’s well known the boyfriends are just pretend to shock. Madonna goes home, cares for her kids and is nothing like the public shocking image she puts out there,

Safarisagoody · 28/06/2026 20:35

Yeah I’d also find this shocking as I would if the genders were reversed, I find big age gaps, nearly 3o years in this case really icky, different life stages.

Original poster
darksideofthetoon · 28/06/2026 20:32

Coldwetlettuce · 28/06/2026 20:16

Why is there no intention of it developing into anything more if they go on hiking trips and trips away? Good on the woman for bagging a younger guy! And it’s refreshing to see that not all late 30s men want to date women in their early 20s, so good on him too

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He said they’re both clear that it’s just fun. She’s divorced and not interested in anything long term.

OP posts:
Onelifeonly · 28/06/2026 20:32

choccytime · 28/06/2026 20:26

Well Madonna's 67 and all her boyfriends have been a lot younger

True but there may be other incentives involved for the bf?

Surcare · 28/06/2026 20:31

darksideofthetoon · 28/06/2026 20:12

Exactly. It just caught me off guard. To be fair she is a beautiful lady but still clear she’s in her 60s.

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Yes it is shocking - it’s a 29yr age gap! I would be said if my daughter was dating a man of that age at 36.