To be shocked that my good friend, 37, is seeing a 66 year old lady?

Marriage is all about in sickness & in health. Age difference has nothing to do with it. Your friends situation is undeniably unfortunate although in life regardless of age strokes, accidents, ill health in general can necessitate a wheelchair. If the tables were turned I'm sure her partner would do the same. My cousins wife in her 40s is in a wheelchair due to a skiing accident. Doctors thankfully say she will walk again. Meantime her husband has no issue with 'pushing her around in a wheelchair'

Seems to me as though your friend is enjoying the company of a 'sexy older woman' and said SOW is taking full advantage. Good for them, it's not hurting anyone.

I'm early 70's and considered attractive i often get attention from much younger men . It's very flattering, but I don't think I would act upon it. 30 plus years I think is a stretch too far for me. But good luck to them both. Not doing any harm by the sound of it.

I've known plenty of wealthy people who enjoy a freebie!

Are you jealous, OP? Do you have an interest on this "friend"? Yes, it's a huge age gap but it seems they're both having fun. The power dynamics is nothing like "old man with young girl". Things balance differently when the man is younger.

No it wouldn’t. Half of Mumsnet would be with partners 30 years older and have never been happier apparently…

I have a friend in her 60s and she’s very beautiful. She has a had a couple of boyfriends of that age and they like her because she isn’t looking for commitment, is independent socially and financially and is great fun and very sexy.

I could never go out with someone that young - I look my age and am not remotely hot - and I’m not generally a big fan of big age gaps but I don’t think it’s necessarily exploitative or unhealthy.

Honestly, I think this is a bit odd. I'm well into middle age and if I imagine being with a guy 30 years younger than me, I just can't think what we'd have in common or talk about. Feels like pretty much everything from politics to music would need a whole lot of explanation if your date can't even remember the 1980s. I'm not judging, just a bit baffled at the attraction for either of them.

It's not bullshit. Men massively outnumber women on dating apps, and will receive very few matches. A man who gets picky over age (for example) is going to get very few matches.

I'm surprised that you're surprised by this, as all of this is well known.

@darksideofthetoon as with any large age gap relationship it becomes noticeable to the younger one usually in their late 40s (say 47/48) when their partner is pushing 70 and in this threads case 80! You’re still in your prime in your 40s which is definitely not the case for your partner. For young females this realisation comes too late once they are saddled with children and potentially their partner’s ill health. For younger males dating old ladies, there’s usually no kids involved and they are still young enough to move on when signs of old age can no longer be ignored and age is no longer just a number!

A friend of mine is in her late 40s with two teenage children pushing the kids father (late 60s) around in a wheelchair after numerous strokes. Not a great life for a 40 yo and their children - they have very restricted lives.

@darksideofthetoon I think your friend will be okay. He can just walk away when he’s either bored or there’s any sign off I’ll health as no kids together. It’s just a bit of fun for them both for a while.

I'm a 37 year old woman and fancy several actresses in their 50s/60s. People really can't seem to get their heads around someone finding an older woman attractive, but we do exist!

Wow can I have his number for my mum? Or is 65 too young 😭

Absolutely gross that two consenting adults enjoy each other’s company?

You’re weird.

I don't doubt that you would know, obviously.

I also wouldn't be surprised if he kept it quiet if she were to be compensating him financially for his time.

Either way it doesn't matter. He clearly enjoys spending time with her and is happy for the arrangement to continue.

Aye, sure. It is extremely rare for men to have a lot of different sexual partners. Usually when men tell you this, they are completely full of shit.

I was on a plane once. Next to a man in his twenties and woman appearing to be in her 60s. She was offering him werthers as they took off, he had a racing driver book telling her about it excitedly. Genuinely seemed like mother and son, I know it was presumptuous but she was also dressed in a certain way… short perm hairdo, lady-like clasp handbag, you get my drift. Well, reader, they only started snogging after take off!! Taken aback indeed. Though my next thought was good for you love! I do wonder if they kind of got off on it in a weird way, hamming up the mother son act and then shocking people. It takes all sorts 🤣

That's a really big age gap. Clearly, he's not doing it because he thinks older women are easy as he already has enough attention, so I assume he has some kind of fetish or mother issues if he's deliberately looking at that age group.

To be honest I’m very happy being single. I have a friend with batteries!

I love it when people on MN say this 🤣🤣 of course it’s uncommon!

And why aren't you interested?!

Go on shagger. Love to see a woman cradle snatch for a change.

I am male and used to have a much older (>30 yrs older) female friend. It was purely a friendship, nothing romantic or sexy whatsoever. She was single and had no family. We bonded over religion, culture and travel interests.

She was rather eccentric - intensely private - and seemed a bit stand offish at first, certainly it seemed that she was not widely liked and had a reputation for being blunt. But I found that, if you gave her a chance and got past this first image, you discovered a very intelligent, cultured and sensitive lady, with a great sense of humour. She didn't share much about herself, but I just accepted that and took her as she was.

I got on well with her and enjoyed her company and listening to her thoughts. We did things together that none of my other friends would have been remotely interested in - going to lectures, religious stuff, lunches etc.

Later, when I had children, she was always very kind and generous to them. She loved to meet them and see holiday photos etc. I saw much less of her during covid, of course. That really shook her and she didn't like to be around people, she was quite paranoid about health - always dressed for an arctic expedition, regardless of the weather.

I had hoped to resume our friendship after covid, but things didn't return to the way it was. She would still reply to emails and things, but would never agree to meet or do things. The last time I asked her to do something together, she simply said she wasn't available. I began to wonder if I had upset her somehow.

Next thing, somebody told me she had died. I was shocked, but realised that this Is what happened and why she wouldn't (couldn't) meet - she had been ill / dying and just hadn't said anything, which was typical of her really, private to the very last.

I managed to go to her funeral which was surprisingly packed. I learned so much about her, she had been a primary school teacher. She had a brother. There was a photo of her as a little girl.

Sorry this adds nothing to the thread, but I found I was enjoying writing about her. I miss her.