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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked my 16 year old to stay home?

28 replies

Anonmom812 · 28/06/2026 14:44

It was my birthday and her nans birthday, she's stopped out the night before and a couple of nights before that and I'd asked her to be home for 10 as we had family plans to celebrate.
She came home at 11am and asked if she could go over there again tonight, I'd said not tonight as we've got family plans and also her nan is the one who drives and gives her lifts everywhere and as it was her birthday then it's not fair as she deserves the day to have a rest and celebrate.
We went out 2-6 and then she started getting overwhelmed and constantly asking to go home (she's autistic so this happens alot) so we dropped her home for a couple of hours. 5 mins after dropping her off she'd left the house with her bf and started walking all the way to her friends house.
I messaged her asking where she was going and she said a walk. I said be home for half 9, she started saying no, idgaf what you say etc
About half 9, I went out to find her but she just kept running off and refused to come home, so she ended up spending the night at her friends house and has been there all day.

Aibu to have asked her to stay home? Or be annoyed that's she's just ran off? How should I handle it when she comes home?

The teenager thing is new to me and I know she's 16 so technically not kid but still not quite an adult and I have no mom friends to talk to about it.

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 28/06/2026 14:53

What time was the celebration and how long would DD need to get ready?

She should participate, and be ready on time. If you told her to be home overly early just for your own peace of mind, that would not be reasonable. My mother used to do this, and still does when we visit.

Larrythecatforpm · 28/06/2026 14:52

She’s being selfish, she would ruin the day regardless with her behaviour. Have a chat and tell her she’s been extremely immature & selfish, and going forward she needs to make more of an effort.

Pockett · 28/06/2026 14:48

She’s being selfish
however sounds like she will ruin this celebration anyway