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Original poster

Wedding related one couple not reciprocating

42 replies

EWAB · 28/06/2026 14:09

My 28 year old colleague is getting married later this year. It’s a large wedding and my partner and I are invited.

She is absolutely lovely, a very inclusive person. Single people are getting a plus one, children are invited. She wants people to be happy. It’s not entirely DIY but her cousin is in a band and there’s a buffet instead of a sit down meal. Her mum is contributing a small amount and buying her dress.

She was looking forward to going out on Friday evening with her partner and his cousin and fiancée, someone who she had me twice before in passing.

Essentially the cousin said that they were looking forward to the wedding but they were also getting married but not inviting them.

They were only inviting about 40 people as they didn’t want to spread their money too thinly and to be cheap.

What do you think of this. Is it rude or not? I can’t make my mind up. Colleague is really upset.

OP posts:
SardinesOnButteredToast · 28/06/2026 14:46

I'm sorry you didn't get an invitation to someone's wedding in the past, and that this has left you with strong feelings afterwards.

2chocolateoranges · 28/06/2026 14:42

I’m not sure what she is upset about. I was invited to all 3 of my best friends from school wedding alll day however we only invited them to our evening reception,

we had a close family wedding only as that’s what we could afford. We had our parents, siblings, aunts and uncles which totalled 40 people, we then had a party at night and invited friends , extended family and colleagues,

everyone’s wedding is different , everyone’s budget is different, I would take it personally.

Tryagain26 · 28/06/2026 14:42

It's a completely different type of wedding though. I don't think your colleague should be offended
I can see that she might be hurt though
I think generally family should be prioritised as many friends and colleagues are temporary family is forever.
I wasn't invited to my nephew's wedding. It wasn't a small wedding but the couple prioritised friends. I thought I was close to his parents and always sent him gifts on his birthdays Christmas etc. so I was very hurt but I wasn't offended and I didn't say anything other than congratulations and sent them money and a card.

RudolphTheReindeer · 28/06/2026 14:40

Invite 40 people and not invite you is fine. To imply yours is cheap because you prefer to invite more people and budget elsewhere to allow this is very rude.

Pockett · 28/06/2026 14:39

Not a colleague
I’d bet your son
and this cousin…. Is your brother’s child? The same brother who didn’t invite you to his wedding?!

WallaceinAnderland · 28/06/2026 14:37

What on earth is she upset about?

Does she think she's entitled to an invitation? This all sounds very odd.

Pockett · 28/06/2026 14:37

EWAB · 28/06/2026 14:35

Ok then I will shut up.

Didn’t realise I had this obsession or that I went to a lot of weddings but OK.

6 threads about different weddings you all have an issue with or a question about??

and then thread after thread about things you’re upset or offended about

all very peculiar

and here you are getting offended on behalf of someone ELSE!

ponyprincess · 28/06/2026 14:35

People can do what they like at their wedding. This is a day when they can be the main characters!

Edit typo

Original poster
EWAB · 28/06/2026 14:35

Ok then I will shut up.

Didn’t realise I had this obsession or that I went to a lot of weddings but OK.

OP posts:
LaPerruque · 28/06/2026 14:35

EWAB · 28/06/2026 14:18

Also he was sort of implying people who are inclusive and have bigger weddings will come over as cheap. This has upset colleague.

Bluntly, so what? This is the definition of (a) not a big deal and (b) not your deal at all, big or small. Nothing is needed from you here.

NearlyNewNonny · 28/06/2026 14:31

You go to an awful lot of weddings, or people you know do...

Original poster
EWAB · 28/06/2026 14:18

Also he was sort of implying people who are inclusive and have bigger weddings will come over as cheap. This has upset colleague.

OP posts:
Pockett · 28/06/2026 14:18

Op this is your SIXTH thread about wedding issues.

This is all very weird

and now the weird mix up

either way… stop obsessing about weddings and other more general perceived slights (of which there are many it would seem)

Original poster
EWAB · 28/06/2026 14:16

Ah I have screwed up mentioning cousins.

HER cousin is sorting the music for her wedding.

It is colleague’s partner’s cousin who has happily accepted an invitation for him and his fiancée but isn’t inviting them to theirs.

OP posts:
Pockett · 28/06/2026 14:13

So this cousin is going to be in a band performing at your colleague’s wedding… yes?

Pockett · 28/06/2026 14:12

Bloody hell it’s weird you are posting this. About your colleague.

Saz12 · 28/06/2026 14:11

Its fine. Colleague is silly to be upset - shes not close to cousin, its a small wedding.