Wedding related one couple not reciprocating

Who cares? Sounds like both couples are having the sort of wedding they want to have. If these events were 5 years apart, you wouldn’t even compare them.

Nobody should be taking offence here.

Life is far too short to lose sleep over the wedding invitation etiquette of your colleague's partner's cousin.

I sometimes wonder if the sheer numbers of wedding outrage threads on Mn is because semi-reclusion is so normalised on here that people simply don't get out much, but still regard wedding invitations as difficult to decline without good reason.

So all the perplexity and shock that other people do things differently to me (the things children feel on their first couple of sleepovers) gets projected onto weddings by those people, because they don't leave the house enough to encounter the otherness of other people that much.

(See also the school run and, to a lesser extent, colleagues and neighbours.)

They're each inviting who they want at their wedding
This is none of your business

It might be a little rude if the cousin was having a similar scale lots-of-people-invited wedding, and didn’t invite your colleague back. But the cousin is having a much smaller wedding, just 40 people - unless she thinks her and her fiancé are in the top 40 closest friends / family to the cousin, she has no right to feel offended. Not everyone has to have the exact same size type of wedding, and this means that it won’t all be exactly reciprocal.

We’ve been to lots of weddings but we eloped so didn’t reciprocate. I guess all of those weddings put us off of having guests!

Yeah, why does this even bother you.

WTF - im so confused, this has literally nothing to do with you.

You don’t have to invite someone back if they invite you. But it doesn’t mean people won’t be offended they aren’t invited.

I don't understand the issue.

Surely, accepting a wedding invitation doesn't oblige me to 1) have a wedding in future 2) invitate similar range of guests.

I have 6 cousins. Afaik 4 are married. I've been to 2 of those weddings.
What would it mean in the reciprocations logic?

Yes you are being unreasonable.

Every wedding is different. If the partners cousin is only having a small one then that is their choice. They shouldn’t pass comments on how others organise their weddings though.

Some weddings are smaller than others with fewer guests.

My eldest daughter only had parents, siblings and their partners at her wedding.
Her youngest sister is getting married soon with 120 people invited.

There's no reason to be offended when someone makes the choice to celebrate on a smaller scale.

I knew it would be @EWAB !!

Yet another wedding one!!

All these wedding threads have reminded me of why my ex and I got married in secret, with just 2 friends as our witnesses.

Well, that and the fact that when his mother knew we were engaged, she started trying to get me to convert to Catholicism. I'm a lifelong atheist, ffs.

People can do what they like for their own weddings - it's nobody else's business. Hope that helps ☺️

Oh I thought it was her son (he’s also getting married soon and, as you’d expect, fraught with tensions!) and OP has been SO pissed off in the past regarding her brother’s weddings (both of them she’s had issues with the invite list).

All sounds a little… terrifying

She's very upset at not being invited to her fiancees cousins wedding, and shes only them twice

See if you can order a grip for her, maybe amazon do them

Not rude at all. Some people have big weddings, some have small. Just because you have a big bash and invite loads of people doesn't mean you're automatically invited to everyone else's micro wedding.

Why are you so concerned about other people’s weddings? People should always have the wedding they want. Hers sounds exactly as she wants, perfect for her.

If budget were an issue for me, I’d prefer to have no children outside of immediate family, close friends over relatives I’m not close to, and have a sit down meal which I’d enjoy.

Neither is right or wrong; neither is your business.

That's not how weddings work, you don't invite someone so you're then invited to their wedding, that's ridiculous. Dh and I would never be invited anywhere as we eloped 😂

Is this guy always a bit of a twat as soon as he opens his mouth I wonder?
Because if he is, his new wife will probably be on here within a year, if that complaining about him.

Good lord that's quite odd.

Having a small wedding which means you can't necessarily reciprocate with invitations to everyone whose wedding you attended is fine, people have the right to have the kind of wedding they want.

Implying that someone who chooses to have a wedding with more DIY/lower cost elements so that they can invite more friends and family is "cheap" is definitely not ok, that's just rude.

Not your wedding, not your problem OP. I'm sure your colleague doesn't need for you to be offended /upset/ angry or other on her behalf.
Weddings seem to be a thing on here, what with another poster and over 2 threads complaining and blithering on about the colour of her dress being cream not white. 🤔