To quiet quit at work due to TTC stress

This. The fertility tests that finally revealed what was wrong with us were not available on the NHS and still aren't. Up to you OP but I would re-think this.

I may well end up needing private treatment but I will wait a bit longer before considering it as most people do get pregnant within a year or so.

Yes most people do.

And they do it without 'quiet quitting' their jobs.

If you want more than one child and your first one causes you stress, you can't 'quiet quit' parenting them.

I think the whole thing is a bit absurd and I'm not just talking about the silly phrase.

Good luck conceiving!

I just wanted to add that what you get on the NHS and what you get privately with fertility treatments are often not the same.

In your position I would consider an initial appt with a private fertility specialist and the initial investigations (bloods incl AMH and TV USS), just so you know where you stand and have an indication of how urgent this may be. It sounds like your husband is already getting a sperm analysis on the NHS which saves that cost.

DOI- currently pregnant with an IVF baby!

How do people all over the world manage working and getting pregnant then?

You're being ridiculous

So you are thinking of "quiet quitting" to reduce stress and get pregnant but not to go.private on principal? Seems mixed up to me . I wish you all the very best.

“rein” in
reign is what monarchs do!

Hi OP. I remember TTC for our first one - I was 30 and also working in a stressful 'face to face' job with people in difficult circumstances. Sounds like a similar situation to you. It took us over 12 months and I was convinced there was something wrong. But actually, it was the month we moved house, amid everything else, that I conceived, He's 23 now! I think it was the distraction of moving - getting caught up in all that and not hyper-focusing on TTC - that made the difference. After that, we had 2 more and I had no problem conceiving (at 33 and 35).

At the time of my first pregnancy, a friend of mine was also TTC. It took her over 2 years. Again, she was hyper-focused on it, but it was the month they also moved house that it worked out for them too. I can only think that distraction can work? For her second pregnancy, it happened first month.

Fingers crossed for you. I'm sure it will all be good and, once you've had you baby, you won't remember any of this. 10 months is not long at all. The average in your 30s is at least 12 months.

Are you underweight by any chance? I think I was in retrospect and this may have affected things. I also went to a Chinese herbalist who gave me some sort of (vile tasting) herb concoction to aid conception. You could possibly try something like this? I wish you the very best of luck!

Thank you! ❤️
It really does and everyone telling you it'll happen eventually and all that stuff doesn't make you feel any better either (well it didn't for me)

Yes I miss-interpreted.
Apologies @Maomee .

To be fair OP, 90% of women conceive while in employment, and some have stressful jobs, police, nurses, doctors. Some conceive in extreme grief. I conceived during a period of severe anguish. People concieve in war camps etc so I think leaving work would just be a cop out. Unless you’re planning on having sex all day in your previous work hours? I’m not sure if it would have any impact at all.

I don’t know, are you an obstetrician? That’s what came to mind with stressful role encountering loads of pregnant women! Might be a bad idea to quiet quit that.

probs not helpful but OP I had a proper meltdown like this the month I got pregnant-— also month 10 of ttc!

Hi, just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel me and my partner have been ttc for a year and a half and it was so draining everymonth, i tracked ovulation downloaded the apps, nothing the last few months ive given up testing and stressing about it almost gave up tbh, but just found out im pregnant after a year and a half, didn't think it was going too after that long was getting myself ready to go to the docs about it, but just wanted to say don't give up

I think you’re being somewhat ridiculous by refusing to pay for private tests if you have the money to do so.

I had one friend that quit work when she found out she needed IVF, she’s now had her baby and is really worried about trying to get back into the world of work again and obviously had a tricky maternity leave with no income.

I’d have gone mad during 2 years of fertility issues if I hadn’t had distractions like work (and that’s a senior role in finance so hard to hide away in!).

good luck, it really gets inside your head.

But lots of things CAN affect fertility in theory. Doesn’t mean it’s that though. Unless your job is unbelievably off the charts stressful it’s unlikely really to be that. Because as others have pointed out how would SO many women get pregnant during wars and famines and as a result of abuse and rape?
A friend of mine was worried stress was affecting her fertility so she quit her job. They could afford to easily. Still took her 2 more years to conceive (by IVF in the end). By then she was so stressed that she’d never have a job she wished she’d carried on working to distract her!

Edited to add, I find if I go to the doctor about ANYTHING I get asked if I’m stressed. My friends agree. They will want to blame whatever you’re there for on three main things. Smoking, being overweight or stress. Most people will have one of those.

I understand your desperation to conceive - but you are hyper fixated on conceiving and that is colouring everything in your life. Obsessing in this way is in itself a stress.

not being patronising but you need to take a breath and step back, carry on having lots of sex, have investigations to check nothing is wrong that can be helped too but you need to relax and not make conceiving your life’s purpose.