To quiet quit at work due to TTC stress

OP, it really seems like you’re on the defensive. People are trying to be helpful and make useful suggestions but it sounds you’re dead set on making it as hard for yourself as you possibly can. If you can afford it, have the initial tests privately.

You won’t consider even a private investigation, out of principle? Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. You’re already feeling drained by the sounds of it - why make it harder? Once the issue (if any) has been confirmed, you can take that to the NHS if the private clinic suggest IVF.

I agree there is no point in getting more tests before you get your husband's test results. But: you seem to be set on stress as explaining why you're not getting pregnant, for which there's rather little evidence - rather than actually looking at the evidence, which is that the vast majority of cases of infertility at your age are explained by things for which tests can give you an answer, or at least point to what might be most effective: male factors; damaged tubes; low ovarian reserve.

Finding a fertility problem doesn't necessarily mean jumping to expensive IVF. I know plenty of couples who just needed a little bit of help: an injection to time ovulation, or to "ripen" more than one egg each month, or IUI (which gives the sperm a little help). All these are really not a huge deal. But my advice as someone who waited a lot of time then took a lot of time to get pregnant: if the SA doesn't give an answer then get other tests, so that you're not wasting your time. You'll thank yourself when you're trying for your second and still in your 30s rather than leaving things too late.

Many people who have a stressful job or stressful life find focusing on their mental wellbeing useful.

things that are relaxing are often simple but really can reduce your stress :

Take up yoga, do some colouring in, go to Pilates, join a choir, take the dog for a walk, go for a run, take up crochet, do paint by numbers, diamond art, pottery class, stroke a furry animal, spend time in nature.

getting fired from work because you’re not pulling your weight is not going to help your stress levels.

Maybe the staff are all quiet quitting.

My friend was struggling to conceive and had fibroids removed and then got pregnant. Might be worth looking into privately?
Good luck I hope you get a positive very soon, it's a hard journey to be on

What a horrible comment. Can you not see saying to someone who is struggling to TTC 'these are the easy days' is so incredibly insensitive?

‘Quiet quitting’ is doing a poor job. It’s doing the minimum requirement. It seems like you’ve been enlightened on this as to what ‘quiet quitting’ actually means though.

If you do horrendous overtime, never get a statutory lunch break and deal with aggressive managers, then fair enough – take care of yourself. But I think you have allowed TTC to make myths of what’s really going on.

The stats are from published studies.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1472648323008507?utm_source=chatgpt.com

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14704244/

Ask for a course of prednisolone. It could be you have an over-efficient immune system which is stopping your embryo from staying.
This was the game changer for me.

And keep working hard! Your career is important, especially when you have kids to support!

Try very early in your cycle and see if that helps. So the day your period finishes try then, and the following day, I worked out I conceived twice very early on in the month even though I had a 25-28 day cycle and ovulated around day 12 or so.
sorry this is happening, I was chatting to a lady this weekend who is 8 months into TTC and said to her try relax and it will happen, I now feel a bit bad saying that to her as it’s bias isn’t it (those that find conceiving to be easy don’t stress) never thought of it that way before

Has your DP had tests done @Maomee?

No one is outraged - thats hyperbolic to suggest.

A lot of stressed people get pregnant and a lot of very in stressed people don’t. You are looking for something to blame.

10 months is normal and you want there to be a reason when there might not be.

Oh, so you NEED your job, but are choosing to not give your best?

OK. You do you. 🙄

With all love, as I know how much TTC can drive you round the bend, this would be a colossally stupid thing to do. Do not set your life on fire because you haven’t yet conceived.

You are also bending stats to support a negative narrative – yes the vast majority of couple do conceive within 6 months, UNDER 30. At mid 30s that drops to 60%. Mid 30s at 12 months rises to 75-85%. That’s rises to 90% at 18 months and 92% at 24 months.

You’ll be in for a whole heap more stress at work if you are called out for your ‘quiet quitting’, and even more if redundancies come round and you are let go because you are ineffective.

Don’t actively damage your future over this.

Off the top of my head, Sperm DNA fragmentation is one. EMMA and ALICE tests are another. There will be others.

Do it! If we died tomorrow work would replace us so don’t push yourself so much at work. Good luck, I hope it all works out soon for you.

No, you thought it best to allow them to recruit someone else who will give 100%.

It’s not all about you. Maybe there’s a pattern here?