I am trying to be vague for obvious reasons but also trying to give you the full story
I am one of three children, always have been and always will be fiercely independent - I have 2 children and me and my partner have always worked our arses off to provide the best for them
My sibling - one again very independent - never asked for anything
My other sibling - give him £5 and he will spend £10 - he married someone similar - never got on top of their finances and borrowed money constantly from my mum over the years
When my children were young - and me and mum took them out along with my siblings children - I always paid for mine - my mum paid for theirs. Even if I wasn't there I sent money for my child as my mum was a pensioner - my mum always accepted this gratefully as money was tight
My child went to uni - my mum never paid for so much as an asda shop for her - never sent any food etc - fine my child - my responsibility.
My daughter bought a house - again not so much as a food shop or an asda voucher - again not expected my mum is a pensioner
Heres the rub though - my siblings child - has done something terrible and will be in prison for some years - my mum now has said she will be sending money to cover legal fees and other sundry expenses.
Also having only seen my youngest child only twice last year as she cannot come to my house due to my house being on a hill, is now planning on flying hours away, then on a considerable bus journey and staying in a hostel to see him for an hour
She is now also talking about contributing my sibling child driving lessons - did she contribute to any of my children's lessons - no.
I admit - I got very upset about this and did have a go at my mum saying none of this is fair! I am not proud of this.
I do not need any money from my mum, my children don't, but why can't she just try and level it up to all her grandchildren ( she has 5 )
I am so hurt for my children
Yes I should be the bigger person and be thankful my children don't need it - I know I should - but I am struggling.
I might get this deleted later, I am just trying to get a sense check.