AIBU to feel hurt about missing my fiancée’s birthday again?

😂😂😂

This.

Her primary life long relationship has always been, and will probably always be, her twin. It’s their day.

Girlfriends will come and go; sounds like she’s got her priorities right.

That’s the bigger issue. I wouldn’t be marrying someone that allows that to happen.

Indeed. Or attend jury service.

Twins have a special bond so I can understand them wanting to spend their birthday together. If you can't make the celebration on the day can't you have your own extra celebration a different day.

It sounds like she’s not ready for marriage tbh.

What’s the point of being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to share life’s events with you?
Why be with someone who knows they are making you feel like a shitty afterthought?
Stop being a passenger.

Who proposed to who

What happened last year, why didnt you go that time

What has she said when you've raised that you would like to be included

What has she said when you've asked how this would work when you get married, when are you getting married and do you live together now?

I agree with this. These aren’t the actions of a committed life partner @LeopardPrint21, so sorry.

I’m sorry OP. This all seems very upsetting for you.
I think you need to consider the following-

1. has she just assumed that the event won’t work for you and DSD so hasn’t included you? In which case it’s a communication issue.
2. are her family not happy with her sexuality so by default this means you’re excluded?
3. do her family not like you? Hence the exclusion. you need to have a chat otherwise this situation will not improve and this will be the future for you and your Dd. At face value it sounds like you’re excluded from events and that your fiancée prioritises her family of origin.

Hi @LeopardPrint21 I think you’ve been given a hard time this thread (in the earlier responses which is what I mostly read) I don’t understand why tbh. I suspect you would have had a very different response if this was eg your husband/male fiancé always binning you in favour of his sibling on his birthday.
I think yanbu at all and tbh this would be a deal breaker for me - unless she’s keen to include you much more in future.

Yes, people who don’t understand humour certainly do!

They walk amongst us 😅

Yep there’s something not right here. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 18 months. His family don’t do many gatherings and I’m not sure I’d be invited if there was any, only having met his mum twice, but he’s not overly close to them. He spends all the important occasions with me though. Christmas, birthdays, new year……

Does your fiance's family know she's gay? Do they accept her relationship with you? Do you socialise with them at other times?

Have you discussed this with her OP? I think your POV is valid, and it might be worth having premarital counselling. It would be good to discuss the topic of how you are going to merge families and handle in-laws. (Also her being a step parent to your child.) Do you live together?

Why did you get engaged? She’s not committed to you I’m afraid.

OP, who proposed to who?

Fo you really want to marry someone who makes feel like this? Like you are not a priority, especially considering other spouses of siblings ate invited.

Also, what message is this sending to your child? That you are both good enough to live with but not to be welcomed as part of the wider family?

Unless your partner is fighting your corner with their family to welcome and include you (Which it doesn't sound like) I would not be rushing to get married. Especially when you are feeling like an afterthought in their family.

Then honestly why are you still engaged? She isn't valuing you. You need a frank discussion about what you both feel a shared life should be like. Be prepared to walk away. Don't let your child grow up seeing you treated as second best.

Is she my ex-sil?! If so then family (her family, not the one you think you are making with her) will always be first, last and every priority.

I think if after 2 years you aren't just being automatically included in celebration numbers then this is not the relationship for you.

I think for things like this it is polite to ask partners, officially with an invitation if there are any, even if it is known that they will have to decline. To make them feel included and part of the family.

How does Christmas work? Your birthay?

It’s confusing. Were you invited or not?

Either you were invited and said it wasn’t suitable for you to go (which is what your initial post implies), or you were not invited at all. Which one?

I feel like your jokes are wasted on this site, nobody ever appreciates them and everyone always takes you seriously

😁

It’s concerning that nobody on this site can recognise satire, humour or sarcasm anymore