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AIBU?

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Original poster

Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

456 replies

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 17:18

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

OP posts:
Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 27/06/2026 23:23

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 23:21

Then every young child I see scooting around or riding on balance bikes is being neglected. Get a grip.

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…….in front of you. ALWAYS!

Greenandyellowday · 27/06/2026 23:22

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 23:14

You again. 🙄

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Unless you and @FWC2026 have some personal beef, I'd say she's making a fair point.

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 23:21

Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 27/06/2026 23:17

You 4 year old was walking nearly 33 feet behind you ? FFS that is neglectful even on a quiet road you kid could have run out into the road. No excuses.
The old guy was a regular git though.

Then every young child I see scooting around or riding on balance bikes is being neglected. Get a grip.

OP posts:
Mygardenshedisfallingdown · 27/06/2026 23:17

You 4 year old was walking nearly 33 feet behind you ? FFS that is neglectful even on a quiet road you kid could have run out into the road. No excuses.
The old guy was a regular git though.

Kitte321 · 27/06/2026 23:17

What a bizarre take on this, I think OP is getting an unfairly hard time.
Maybe having your 4 yrs old behind isn’t the wisest move but crikey, how does that justify an adult shouting at a little boy?
Does the fact that the ‘old’ chap is an adult entitle him to be rude and unpleasant?
I’m with you, OP. If someone shouted at my 4yrs old in that manner they would be getting very short shrift.
Manners cost nothing, and respect is a two way street. I would never speak to a little lad like that, I would probably say hi to him and smile at the fact he was happy pottering along.

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 23:15

NinjaCoffee · 27/06/2026 21:20

Eurgh you are one of those mums.

Dads

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 23:14

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 23:13

One that's deliberately trying to trip me over & whose parent isn't taking any responsibility for them.

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You again. 🙄

OP posts:
FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 23:13

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 21:17

He's 4.

What exactly can a 4 year old do to provoke that reaction in a normal, reasonable person?

What would be your threshold for shouting at a 4 year old in the street?

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One that's deliberately trying to trip me over & whose parent isn't taking any responsibility for them.

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 23:12

Daffodilsinthespring · 27/06/2026 23:09

YABU for calling a 65-70 year old as old

It's State Pension age. 🤷

OP posts:
FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 23:10

CanOnlyBeMyself · 27/06/2026 21:14

OP has declared himself to be a big man.

Don’t they all…

6'1 isn't 'big'.

Daffodilsinthespring · 27/06/2026 23:09

YABU for calling a 65-70 year old as old

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 23:06

Charlize43 · 27/06/2026 22:47

That would be my take on that as well.

What if someone had grabbed the child and pulled it into a car?... Perish the thought.

As the child was behind her, he could have been zigzagging across the pavement and getting in the way and she would never have known. I would have given the man the benefit of doubt and apologised.

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You'd apologise to a man that just shouted 'get out of my way' at your 4 year old child? Really?

As I said previously, he's a nice boy that follows instructions well. He's a bit shy/wary of strangers and would have definitely made space if asked. Like all 4 year olds, he can disappear into his own little world, but he's taught to say and respond to 'excuse me'. I would certainly have responded better to a loud 'excuse me' than a shouted 'get out of my way'.

OP posts:
FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 23:03

Mumtobabyhavoc · 27/06/2026 21:08

You're missing my point. I was referring to the child. Would the 65 year old have shouted,
"Get out of my way!" to another man?

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Oh, sorry I miss understood your point.

who knows what the man would have done if it was an adult doing the same as the 4 year old. We'll never know, along with what the 4 yo was doing, if the man had already asked him nicely to let him past of anything as the OP was not looking after his child in a public space.

Nor Is he open to learning from this. .

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/06/2026 23:01

Redpaisley · 27/06/2026 21:59

Why was there a buggy then? For shopping. Getting tired of these empty buggies blocking.

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Blocking what?

Charlize43 · 27/06/2026 22:58

Charlize43 · 27/06/2026 22:47

That would be my take on that as well.

What if someone had grabbed the child and pulled it into a car?... Perish the thought.

As the child was behind her, he could have been zigzagging across the pavement and getting in the way and she would never have known. I would have given the man the benefit of doubt and apologised.

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Apologies not 'she' but 'he'... but still totally shit parenting imo.

Charlize43 · 27/06/2026 22:47

stichguru · 27/06/2026 17:28

Yeah your 4 year old was 10m behind you on a public street. Even if your 4 year old is the most sensible kid ever, that's called completely irresponsible parenting.

That would be my take on that as well.

What if someone had grabbed the child and pulled it into a car?... Perish the thought.

As the child was behind her, he could have been zigzagging across the pavement and getting in the way and she would never have known. I would have given the man the benefit of doubt and apologised.

myglowupera · 27/06/2026 22:45

Greenandyellowday · 27/06/2026 22:09

@ThisOldThang Well, you've raised my hackles OP. In fact I'm fucking livid.

Your child was around ten metres behind you, and you happily accept that he may have been zigzagging and difficult to pass.

You don't know, because you weren't watching, but you accept it and you don't care that he could have tripped the older man up and caused him an injury. Why didn't you have eyes on your child?

You are teaching your child(ren) to be disrespectful towards adults (except for you perhaps) and towards older adults in particular.

Look OP, mine are in their 20s now, but I taught them respect from early years. When they were walking with me (never behind me) and any older person approached, I said firmly (to the child/children): "Get out of the way." When an older person entered a room, I said, quietly but firmly (to the children) "Stand up." It's second nature to them now as young adults.

Frankly, this child-centered place we all seem to be living in is wrong. Pile on if you like, Mumsnetters, but children should be taught to respect elderly people. And to respect their teachers too, while I'm on a rant.

OP, I suggest you match your walking pace to your younger child's, rather than your older child's. Yes it's very boring to dawdle, but it's your responsibility.

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“Children should respect elderly (full stop)” is outdated imo. Children should respect elderly who deserve respect is a more up to date version. That 4 year old shouldn’t need to have any respect for a person who shouts at him to move out of his way. Why couldn’t the man have modelled polite behaviour and said “Could I come past please?” (Then walks past, then..) “Thank you.”
My Grandma never would have dreamed of talking to a small child like that. She always said respect is two way street, and had lots of patience for children. I guess she was ahead of her time. Amazing lady ❤️

Greenandyellowday · 27/06/2026 22:38

GeorginaWilby · 27/06/2026 22:27

We'll never know what the 4 year old was up to because the only one watching him was a stranger.

Exactly.

Tigerbalmshark · 27/06/2026 22:35

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 19:34

Given how many posts you've made in this thread, you appear to be itching for a fight/attention.

At the risk of setting you off again, there are more types of residential street than just those with driveways and those with doors that open directly onto the street. There are also those with small front gardens/yards that aren't deep enough to park a car on. This was one of those roads. It had a fairly wide pavement that could easily accommodate two adults walking side-by-side. It also had no traffic during the time we were walking the length of the road - i.e. it was a quiet residential road.

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In London I would say that is the norm, and driveways are unusual. Many councils ban people turning front gardens into hardstandings for parking.

Here are a couple of examples for people who cannot imagine houses without driveways

Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS
Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS
Supersimkin7 · 27/06/2026 22:33

Kids get out of the way for old people.

You’re lucky the man wasn’t an oh-so-impolite Ferrari.

Greenandyellowday · 27/06/2026 22:30

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 22:27

Homeless?

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😂😂😂

Greenandyellowday · 27/06/2026 22:30

FuzzyPuffling · 27/06/2026 20:48

OP has declared himself to be a big man.

Very tall.

GeorginaWilby · 27/06/2026 22:27

We'll never know what the 4 year old was up to because the only one watching him was a stranger.

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 22:27

Greenandyellowday · 27/06/2026 22:23

Hotel?

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Homeless?

OP posts:
Greenandyellowday · 27/06/2026 22:23

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 19:57

I was just thinking that if I met somebody at a party and they corrected me using 'oldest' or 'youngest' I'd immediately turn my back and walk away.

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Hotel?