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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

456 replies

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 17:18

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/06/2026 18:37

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:36

He shouted loudly and angrily at a four year old child.

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Who should have been in his parents control.

sounds more like he was pissed off with you for not supervising your little angel! It’s certainly one where I would love to hear his side of things

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 27/06/2026 18:37

You don't want to hear anything except that the man is awful so no idea why you posted.

The truth is you have no idea why the "old codger" was annoyed because you weren't supervising your four year old.

Nevs · 27/06/2026 18:37

I mean neither of you come out looking great in this to be honest. He shouldn’t have been aggressive to a 4 year old who knows no better, but you’re not likely to be shortlisted for Mother Of The Year award are you… 10 metres you say?

He’s lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids If you were that intimidating a figure to him he wouldn’t have instigated the interaction. Just write off it off as being wrong on both sides and move on.

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:37

Meadowfinch · 27/06/2026 17:34

Being old is not an excuse to be a bullying ill mannered git. Ever.

He's still working age, he's not OLD.

asking a kid to move is not bullying.

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:36

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:34

You don't know if he'd already asked him to move/stay still or what the kid was doing. neither does the OP because she wasn't watching her 4 yo.

i also think 'shouting' is an exaggeration for 'spoke firmly'

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He shouted loudly and angrily at a four year old child.

OP posts:
Weeellokthen · 27/06/2026 18:36

GretaGip · 27/06/2026 17:36

Fgs

Older people are so wary and unsteady in their feet. A unsupervised toddler is so unpredictable.

A fall is statistically likely to hasten ab elderly person's death.

Yes he reacted harshly but it's completely understandable.

Stay close to your child - for everyone's sake especially your child. 10 metres is massively distant

65 is not elderly 😂

Livelovebehappy · 27/06/2026 18:35

myglowupera · 27/06/2026 18:26

It might have something to do with the outdated phrase, “Respect your elders.” Nobody should have any respect for a man who booms at a 4 year old like that.

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A bit of an overstretch to suggest this is why OP referred to him as old…

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:34

Allwelcone · 27/06/2026 17:33

You're being judged a bit harshly here on something irrelevant imo - he probably would have shouted anyway if you'd been walking 3 abreast and had your 4yo next to you. Op's post isnt about where her child was it was abkit whether this man was rude or not ( he was). YANBU.

You don't know if he'd already asked him to move/stay still or what the kid was doing. neither does the OP because she wasn't watching her 4 yo.

i also think 'shouting' is an exaggeration for 'spoke firmly'

Tonty · 27/06/2026 18:34

You were rude to an 'old man' & called him an old codger here, yet outraged he snapped at your dc for being in the way because, 'he's only 4'. Perhaps you should practise what you preach and model respectful behaviour for your dc.

Livelovebehappy · 27/06/2026 18:33

As others have said, why is his age relevant? Just say ‘man shouted at my four year old’ Whether he’s 70 or 20 has zero relevance here 🙄

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:33

Delphiniumandlupins · 27/06/2026 18:27

Is it a road with driveways where cars could be crossing the pavement?

No.

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 27/06/2026 18:32

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:21

It's a quiet residential road, so the bus would have needed to smash through a few houses to get onto the street.

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OP seriously, he shouldn't have been rude but he could been a peado, a flasher - anything! I thinks it's fine for him to tag a behind a little bit but 10m is too far

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:31

GobletofFury · 27/06/2026 17:32

When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

What's that got to do with the price of fish?

God only knows.

just makes her sound even more unreasonable.

Sirzy · 27/06/2026 18:31

He may or may not have over reacted but your lax attitude to road safety is bloody scary!

WhatAMarvelousTune · 27/06/2026 18:30

Even if OP was unreasonable to have the child far behind her, you don’t just yell at people in your way on the street. He sounds like a dick

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:28

Warmthofthesun · 27/06/2026 17:23

Four year olds aren’t toddlers and generally do know not to suddenly run out into the road, especially on quiet streets.

Until they don't!

it takes nothing for them to be distracted & run into the road without thinking.

@ThisOldThang YABU to call him an OLD man. YABVU not to have your 4 year old beside you, behind you isn't safe. You don't know how he was behaving.

the man was wrong to shout at your DS, but he was not wrong to say something to you about watching him better.

Floppyearedlab · 27/06/2026 18:28

A 4 year old needs to be walking next to you holding your hand
Not dawdling all over the road several feet behind you or in a pushchair like a baby.

Delphiniumandlupins · 27/06/2026 18:27

Is it a road with driveways where cars could be crossing the pavement?

myglowupera · 27/06/2026 18:26

LoafofSellotape · 27/06/2026 17:27

Why is how old he is relevant?

It might have something to do with the outdated phrase, “Respect your elders.” Nobody should have any respect for a man who booms at a 4 year old like that.

PurpleH · 27/06/2026 18:26

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:15

I had the buggy because we were walking a long way and I had planned ahead for the return journey knowing that my son would be tired.

I'm comfortable with him walking in a pavement behind me. He knows to stay on the pavement and this was a very quiet residential road. He'll often dawdle and then run to catch up. So what?

I can happily accept that he may have been zig zagging and tricky to pass, but he's a nice boy that responds well to instructions and shy/wary of strangers. If the old man had said 'excuse me little man', my son would probably have jumped out of his skin, but would definitely have moved to the side to let the man pass.

He was rude and aggressive towards me, after shouting at my 4 year old son.

Another “I’ll write a post on AIBU but then adamantly defend myself against anyone that disagrees with me” 🙄

Theresalittlebitofwitchinyou · 27/06/2026 18:24

“I can happily accept he may have been zig zagging and tricky to pass, but he’s a nice boy who responds well to instructions”

I’m 44 so probably look old to your son as my 11 year old thinks I’m ancient and I’m definitely grumpy and hate people <well adults> but really what on earth is wrong that a simple “excuse me wee man can I get by you?” or even just “excuse me” if you are reaaally grumpy and can’t be bothered to speak nicely to a child.

Velumental · 27/06/2026 18:23

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:21

It's a quiet residential road, so the bus would have needed to smash through a few houses to get onto the street.

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So it was pedestrian only?

I have a trustworthy and biddable 4 yr old and a wild 8 yr old and I absolutely wouldn't have my almost 5 hr old trail behind me.out of my sight. It's irresponsible. That's probably hot the auld guys back.up

maddiemookins16mum · 27/06/2026 18:23

I sometimes read of t
hese 'altercations" on here and think there are three sides to the story, tge Ops, the "old man' and the reality/truth of the situation.

Delphiniumandlupins · 27/06/2026 18:22

So calling him a "rude old man" doesn't count as kicking off?

I think he probably shouldn't have shouted at your child but you weren't watching your DS and don't know what happened. Perhaps he started by saying "Excuse me". He said your son had been in his way. Whatever their age, 10m behind you is too far away for a child, who still needs a buggy, on a residential street.

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:21

Velumental · 27/06/2026 18:19

You're lucky someone was just rude to him and he wsnt under the wheels.of a bus given how little attention you were payinh

It's a quiet residential road, so the bus would have needed to smash through a few houses to get onto the street.

OP posts: