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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

456 replies

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 17:18

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

OP posts:
FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 19:07

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:40

People have assumed I'm a woman, but I'm actually a 6' 1" man. I think many dads would have reacted much more 'assertively' than I did.

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Makes no difference, except that I'm slightly less surprised by your inattention to your youngest child.

oh & im out of medals for 'I'm such a hero for not being an even more aggressive twunt than I was'

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 19:05

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:38

Shouting 'Get out of my way' isn't asking.

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Well given he was so far behind you, you don't know how many times the man had asked more quietly.

but god forbid you take any responsibility for your child.

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 19:02

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:36

He shouted loudly and angrily at a four year old child.

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You don't know how many times he'd asked nicely because you weren't looking after your DS.

I also think 'shouted loudly' is likely to be a rather large exaggeration.

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 19:00

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:33

No.

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So it's a quiet residential street with no driveways.

????

SkirlingGirl · 27/06/2026 18:58

You've mentioned his age 6 times in one post, including referring to him as an codger. I suspect his version of events might be different from yours...

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:57

Theresalittlebitofwitchinyou · 27/06/2026 18:24

“I can happily accept he may have been zig zagging and tricky to pass, but he’s a nice boy who responds well to instructions”

I’m 44 so probably look old to your son as my 11 year old thinks I’m ancient and I’m definitely grumpy and hate people <well adults> but really what on earth is wrong that a simple “excuse me wee man can I get by you?” or even just “excuse me” if you are reaaally grumpy and can’t be bothered to speak nicely to a child.

You're assuming he hadn't already tried that.

MaCheCazzo · 27/06/2026 18:55

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QuirkyHorse · 27/06/2026 18:54

I inwardly cringe when I see young children trailing behind their adult carer.
Only takes a second for something to happen to that child.

Take more care of your youngster and he won't be in the position where he could be shouted at.

Don't condone the man shouting at him, that is unnecessarily rude.

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:50

HelenHan67 · 27/06/2026 17:55

I wonder about those signs though. Is there a cohort of drivers who will ram into all vehicles mercilessly unless they specifically declare they're carrying a child passenger?

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They were originally (very many years ago) designed to alert the emergency services in an accident if the driver was unconscious.

but obviously they became immediately pointless as people didn't put them in & take them out with the child. They became trendy not useful

Sirzy · 27/06/2026 18:47

FuzzyPuffling · 27/06/2026 18:46

I know what it is, I was questioning the need for it, for a 4 year old.

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Especially one so mature and trusted they apparently don’t need supervision!

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:46

NegativeSpace · 27/06/2026 17:53

Maybe he wasn’t ruder, it depends on what the 4 year old was doing. They aren’t difficult to walk around so, for the man to have to tell him to get out of the way, he must have been doing something. We only have op’s word that the man shouted, rather than just being a man that has a loud voice. After all, op says she isn’t the type to kick off in front of her kids, and yet seemed to manage to have a bit of back and forth about it all 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Exactly!!

sittingonabeach · 27/06/2026 18:46

Wouldn’t leave a 4yo out of sight

FuzzyPuffling · 27/06/2026 18:46

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:45

Lightweight pushchair.

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I know what it is, I was questioning the need for it, for a 4 year old.

AgnesMcDoo · 27/06/2026 18:45

Sirzy · 27/06/2026 18:42

I don’t care if you’re male, female or an alien. Your parenting in this case was shit!

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Your sex is no more relevant than the man’s age

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:45

FuzzyPuffling · 27/06/2026 17:51

Why a buggy?

Lightweight pushchair.

Nevs · 27/06/2026 18:44

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:40

People have assumed I'm a woman, but I'm actually a 6' 1" man. I think many dads would have reacted much more 'assertively' than I did.

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Hardly proved me wrong on the intimidating figure point have you. Instead of getting sassy on Mumsnet have you considered keeping a closer eye on your kid?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 27/06/2026 18:43

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:40

People have assumed I'm a woman, but I'm actually a 6' 1" man. I think many dads would have reacted much more 'assertively' than I did.

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Whether you are male or female doesn’t change the answers to any of this. Supervise your children properly.

Moonnstarz · 27/06/2026 18:42

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 27/06/2026 18:37

You don't want to hear anything except that the man is awful so no idea why you posted.

The truth is you have no idea why the "old codger" was annoyed because you weren't supervising your four year old.

Agree.
She cannot possibly know what the toddler was doing. Maybe he was stopping to pick up stones and stopped unexpectedly and the man nearly tripped over him. Maybe he was told not to pick flowers from someone's garden.
Maybe he was being cheeky and stuck his tongue out at the man.
Maybe he said something to the man that the man perceived as rude.

Sirzy · 27/06/2026 18:42

ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:40

People have assumed I'm a woman, but I'm actually a 6' 1" man. I think many dads would have reacted much more 'assertively' than I did.

Show quote history

I don’t care if you’re male, female or an alien. Your parenting in this case was shit!

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:42

Hallywally · 27/06/2026 17:40

What was your child doing? Without knowing it’s hard to judge.

Well she's not going to be able to answer that is she because he was behind her!

hopspot · 27/06/2026 18:42

He was rude but your child should have been in front of you. Small children can be missed by car drivers in reversing mirrors. Are you sure he was 10m behind? He might be very sensible but as you’ve found out, other people aren’t. He could be knocked over by a random dog or my worry with my dc is an opportunist van pulls up and grabs them when I’m too far away to do anything.

ACynicalDad · 27/06/2026 18:42

He shouldn't be 10m away, if you were closer this probably wouldn't have happened. Both unreasonable.

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:40

MrsMitford3 · 27/06/2026 17:39

Sorry is he now an "old man" at 65?

If your child was that far behind you have no idea what he was doing/how he was blocking the man's path etc or if he was safe.

Obviously he should not have shouted but maybe he asked quietly and your son didn't move?

The heat is making people very grouchy but I don't think you covered yourself in glory here.
You were no better than he was to be honest.

Exactly

Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:40

Nevs · 27/06/2026 18:37

I mean neither of you come out looking great in this to be honest. He shouldn’t have been aggressive to a 4 year old who knows no better, but you’re not likely to be shortlisted for Mother Of The Year award are you… 10 metres you say?

He’s lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids If you were that intimidating a figure to him he wouldn’t have instigated the interaction. Just write off it off as being wrong on both sides and move on.

People have assumed I'm a woman, but I'm actually a 6' 1" man. I think many dads would have reacted much more 'assertively' than I did.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisOldThang · 27/06/2026 18:38

FWC2026 · 27/06/2026 18:37

He's still working age, he's not OLD.

asking a kid to move is not bullying.

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Shouting 'Get out of my way' isn't asking.

OP posts: