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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be disappointed in this anniversary gift? Probably going to sound like an ungrateful cow here

135 replies

Caffeinepleasenow · 27/06/2026 16:04

It's our anniversary this weekend. DH isn't great at gift giving and prefers for me to tell him exactly what I want, which is fine by me. I pointed out the exact running shoes that I wanted in the shop a couple of weeks ago and sent him a picture of them too.

This afternoon he gave me some perfume, that he'd bought while out running errands with our toddler. He said they didn't have the shoes I wanted anymore. It's nice perfume, but not something I particularly wanted. I have mentioned some perfumes that I liked, after getting some samples, so maybe he thought any would do.

What's slightly weirder is that it's the exact same perfume that he saw me buy for my mum's birthday a couple of months ago.

It just feels very low effort. I would've preferred he order the shoes I liked online, or asked which perfume I liked again.

AIBU to be slightly disappointed?

OP posts:
Metromayhem · 27/06/2026 16:18

BlueMum16 · 27/06/2026 16:11

Another that has been married for years and don't buy or give anniversary presents

Not about having a low bar but more about not focusing on things that are not important.

And that’s fine, but why pretend you’ve never heard of it 😂 weird.

Tintackedsea · 27/06/2026 16:18

We don’t really do anniversary gifts either but obviously this couple do and so it doesn’t matter what the gift giving event is the point is he’s bought her something she doesn’t want.

op, I would graciously accept the perfume and just buy the shoes myself. If he buys you something else you don’t like then I’d say something but as a one off it’s not too much of a thing. Not every gift will be perfect and it’s nice that he tried even if it went off script.

Desperatelyseekinglazysusan · 27/06/2026 16:16

I don't think I've got gifts either. I presumed they were only for the big ones (25, 50 etc) and related to the anniversary- ie: silver etc. Maybe that's old fashioned now, especially when people are older when they marry so don't want to wait until they are in their 50's for a wedding gift! I'd think card and flowers for earlier.

SweetnsourNZ · 27/06/2026 16:14

Miranda65 · 27/06/2026 16:07

I have been married for decades. I don't think I've ever been given "an anniversary gift"..... is it a thing?
People on here usually moan that their spouse has completely forgotten, so I think you're doing pretty well.

Yes. There is even a list of traditional materials the gifts should be made of such as 1st anniversary paper, 50th anniversary gold.

Breadcat24 · 27/06/2026 16:13

I once gave my husband car mats for our anniversary- it was what he wanted! Not very romantic though

BlueMum16 · 27/06/2026 16:11

MyArtfulGreySloth · 27/06/2026 16:08

Of course anniversary gifts are a thing, you know full well they bloody are 😂 maybe you should raise your bar or maybe not post here trying to belittle a poster for no reason.

Another that has been married for years and don't buy or give anniversary presents

Not about having a low bar but more about not focusing on things that are not important.

Spaghettimonsta · 27/06/2026 16:10

Miranda65 · 27/06/2026 16:07

I have been married for decades. I don't think I've ever been given "an anniversary gift"..... is it a thing?
People on here usually moan that their spouse has completely forgotten, so I think you're doing pretty well.

In other breaking news, people decorate trees at Christmas

MyArtfulGreySloth · 27/06/2026 16:08

Miranda65 · 27/06/2026 16:07

I have been married for decades. I don't think I've ever been given "an anniversary gift"..... is it a thing?
People on here usually moan that their spouse has completely forgotten, so I think you're doing pretty well.

Of course anniversary gifts are a thing, you know full well they bloody are 😂 maybe you should raise your bar or maybe not post here trying to belittle a poster for no reason.

Miranda65 · 27/06/2026 16:07

I have been married for decades. I don't think I've ever been given "an anniversary gift"..... is it a thing?
People on here usually moan that their spouse has completely forgotten, so I think you're doing pretty well.

Excited101 · 27/06/2026 16:06

That’s really really shitty op. Has been got form for this?