AIBU to be disappointed in this anniversary gift? Probably going to sound like an ungrateful cow here

Speaking as a young widow, be grateful your hubby is still here. Yes he maybe missed the mark but he tried.

No but it’s lovely if you are rich and can afford to buy expensive presents and go away for nights in hotels and things. A lot of people can’t - we just prefer to use the funds on things we can do together. Doesn’t stop those than can afford it to do both.

It's so bizarre when people say they don't buy each other gifts but instead do special things together. Do you think people that buy gifts don't do special things together as well? 😂

And no i don't buy my husband things he doesn't want or need either- that would be a terrible idea.

What year is running shoes? 😉

Never had an anniversary present, if I want trainers I buy them myself.

As he’s not getting any better, just detach effort for him too. No more thoughtful birthday, Christmas or Father’s Day gifts.

Get him some Lynx and a Card Factory 20p card.

What did you buy HIM?
in my experience, anniversaries tend to equal a bunch of flowers and maybe a “date night”.

eta that you bought him “socks” 😳
tbh, I think you’d have to be going some, to get lower effort than socks.

DH and I always exchange gifts on anniversaries, 43 years later, hoping to get to gold.

Do you live in the world?

Not really. We have been married for 25 years. There is nothing either of us need at this point. We simply would be buying each other things for the sake of buying them. I refuse to buy my husband socks! The romance is well and truly dead at that point! I wouldn’t even buy him trainers as he can buy his own trainers if he needs them.

If I see something my DH would love I’d just buy it for him . What I won’t do is go- it’s his birthday and then spend hours combing through the internet trying to find something that really he doesn’t want/need so I can just buy it for him. We choose to spend the money doing special things together. If you can find many many things to get your partner yearly that is fab. We like literally ran out of regular ideas about the 10 year mark. Our house is already full of clutter we don’t need.

Some people enjoy gift giving. Nothing exhausting about it. What a joyless way to think!!

Not everyone's bar is so low that 'at least he didn't forget' is good enough.

Why did you go out for dinner? Why was that necessary?

As an aside, do people really know what their friends do every year for anniversaries? I don’t!

😆

This kind of response makes me cringe so much. It’s not a competition and you don’t need to feel threatened by others buying gifts. Every couple is just different!

sounds exhausting more than anything. One of the reasons my DH stopped birthday and Xmas pressies was that after about the 10 year mark we ran out of ideas and it all got very stressful trying to think of things so we decided we’d always just buy things together or spend the money going out. How do couples come up with 3 distinct, lovingly curated pressies a year for each other? Anything we want/need we just buy ourselves except on occasion if I know he wants something a bit special I’ll get it. And then you have things like Valentine’s Day…. Exhausting!

I don't believe any of my friends give or receive anniversary gifts from their spouses other than for a really special anniversary. Why on earth is a gift necessary? My ex and I would go out for dinner, nothing more was expected from either of us.

If you want running shoes OP just buy them! Dressing them up as an anniversary gift is silly.

Yes, it's a thing to lots of people.

We do birthdays and Christmas’s in a big way. However not anniversaries.
I always assumed you either got a card, something sentimental or nothing! Ours can ho anyway 😂
A list of requests for an anniversary seems like it’s an extra birthday.
Having said that, if this is normal for you and he normally gets what you asked for I can understand the disappointment.
I however would be more disappointed by the socks 😂

I genuinely don’t see the point in telling another adult who you live with and presumably share finances in some form or other with the exact gift you want them to buy you. It’s not gift giving it’s a transaction.
If DH can’t think of something to buy me I rather he said so and didn’t get me anything.
It’s not about having a low bar, it’s actually a high bar because I don’t want a low effort purchase just because it’s a particular date. I’d prefer a meaningful gift once in a blue moon than the equivalent effort of going to the supermarket with a list.

We don't do anniversary gifts either, but we try to go out for a meal. Coming up to 56 years...don't think there's a present for that!

How romantic ffs.

Some people are better at gift giving (and thinking/planning ahead) than others. If he has plenty of other redeeming features I'd let it slide.

Finding it a bit odd that he would be able to afford to buy you the trainers but you couldn't afford them yourself, do you not have joint finances?

I think these posts are often tricky because of the relationship dynamics. You have posted saying you will buy yourself the trainers when you can afford it....in my household we have a joint account and therefore I would just buy the trainers and not need to wait for them as a gift. From this comment I guess you do not have a shared account/own income that enables you to afford these things hence why an anniversary gift is more important to you.