To feel sad about this?

I don't think @justalittlesad is coming back to this thread. I think maybe some of this was a knee jerk reaction to the news. She posted the day that the parents decided to go away, and that they kept mentioning family Christmas (we have no idea exactly how many times this was even said). It may be that once they had told her and mentioned it (maybe a few times) no more has been said.

There is a lot of debate over what she could or couldn't do...the reality is she is an adult. The stuff about the tree was melodramatic, as is the idea she would be sitting cold in the dark. She says she went to uni so I assume she either lived alone or in a house share, so unless she relied on housemates for everything then I would hope she can work a light switch and central heating! She also is saving for her own home, so if she is really incapable of doing these basic tasks then that is more concerning and she should not be living independently.

Also a lot of people raging about how much rent the parents ask for. Again that is entirely up to them and even @justalittlesad has said this is lower than prices for renting in her area, so while it might seem excessive to most to her it still works out better. This is still her choice to make and her plan to save is her priority, else she could move out and be more detached from her parents if she truly wanted.

Hopefully she has now had time to sleep on it and can see a lot of her thoughts were irrational and that there are a lot of things she can do now moving forward.

I'm a little late to the party, but I just wanted to say that your friends being with their own families doesn't mean that they wouldn't love to have you there as well. My single friends still spend christmas with their parents, while I have a husband and kid. We would still welcome them with open arms and be more than happy to have any and all of our friends round for Christmas, if we wouldn't then we're not proper friends, friends are people you want to spend time with.

I wish people would have a bit more emotional intelligence to realise it’s not about the practicalities of the tree. When someone has been hurt and let down by the people who love them, small insignificant things like Christmas trees seem much bigger.

OP I think it’s mean of your parents no matter what your age. I don’t blame you at all for being upset or at paying your parents £600 in rent plus food.

Having read more of your posts OP your family don’t sound very nice. It might be better to be shot of them for a bit. How they’ve dealt with this is crass and insensitive and they sound grasping to be taking almost half your monthly salary in rent when they’ve got plenty of money. They sound like cunts to be honest

I don't think you're BU. My parents moved to NZ when I was in my early 20s and it was the first time I didn't have family to spend Christmas with and didn't seem like they'd considered it and it made me sad. I also think, given how much your parents are spending on luxury flights, that they could've considered covering your plane ticket - I would do that for my DC if I could afford to especially if I thought a 'family Xmas' was important (are you sure they're not planning to surprise you given their weird 'family Xmas'' comments?). Anyway, I similarly wasn't sure about approaching friends about visiting as Xmas thinking they would all have their own plans but, it turns out, lots of people don't like the thought of someone being on their own for Christmas and when I mentioned it, I got loads of offers and actually had a lovely time with a friend and her family. I think you'll find when you chat to some friends about it, without even asking if you can crash, you will find you have loads of offers of company over Xmas and you'll probably end up having a different but great time.

if this was one of your friends, you’d have them for Christmas, wouldn’t you? Swallow your pride and either ask to go to a pal, or think about trying to embrace a nice time on your own. You’re not wrong to feel sad, just as they’re not wrong to go, but Christmases like everything else changes over time x

Who knows, some people have weird priorities. It sounds like she is working a minimum wage job so maybe that's why

@DressOrSkirt I'm not sure where 24 came from either, the OP hasn't shared her age, has she? Perhaps I missed it.

Some people value travel/experiences. If she's living at home, doesn't go out much and never travelled abroad I can see how they might prefer her to do that before buying a house.

Not that I agree with that, or we know much else about OPs situation (I'm not even sure where you are getting 24 from), but it was basically the theme on the thread about the 23 year old getting married.

I can’t understand though why OP’s parents would possibly see her as a disappointment? She’s employed and saving for a house. At 24. She sounds to me like the opposite of a disappointment, unless they have very odd priorities. Or unless they somehow expect her to be a very high earner very young?

I could say the same, that I'm too soft for putting my parents first.
Yes, agree to disagree, thanks for answering!

I was facing my first Christmas alone last year without either of my adult children.
I'd made all these plans - I'll travel to the coast and enjoy myself in a hotel. Spoil myself. Relax or go for some brisk clifftop walks.

Luckily I got flu and was pretty much delirious for about 10 days. That was months of worrying and planning wasted.

Well we'll have to agree to disagree, I wouldn't, especially if they were upset about it and I could do something about it. I guess I'm just soft.

If they were in their 20s, yes.

But one of their children is potentially going to be alone whether they stay or go. It's 6 months away, she has time to organise something if she doesn't want to be alone.

No you didn't, if you had a child, would you leave them completely alone at Chrstmas?

I already answered your question

I wouldn't be in that position because my parents would do what I would do, however, I wouldn't be telling them what to do or not to do. If they wanted to pay for me, I would accept gracefully, as that would be what they wanted. Now answer my question.

It's moot because OP doesn't want to take the time off work. But OPs parents are thinking about first class flights which to me shows they can't afford that easily. And she is saving a tidy sum by living with them.

But my comment is for all the posters saying the parents should either pay for her, or if they can't afford it they should stay at home. Would you agree with that?

It’s moot isn’t it - the OPs parents clearly can afford to pay for her in this case as they are booking first class flights and take a tidy sum from her monthly

If your parents couldn't afford the Airbnb for you all would you expect them to stay at home?

There’s a bizarre attitude on mums net that you have to just accept it when people behave poorly towards you, and that you aren’t allowed to want things from your parents as an adult, nor do parents of adults owe anything at all to their kids.

imo it depends what the priority is. We have a family wedding abroad coming up - one of my brothers is getting divorced, me and DH are having a baby and buying a new house (we also thought he might get made redundant). Did they say “see ya losers we’re off to Croatia for your cousin’s wedding sorry you can’t afford it?” Or did they pay for an air BnB big enough for all of us to ease the financial burden and prioritise family time.

Have you spoken to your parents about how they're making you feel when they say 'family Christmas' and you're not included?

Also I would be absolutely devastated to find out one of my friends was spending Christmas alone. Have u spoken to them too? Someone else may have a chair available. ❤️

You already said that, can you answer my question? I don't have children.

I'd suffer the hardship of downgrading to business class to pay for my daughter. Would you be happy to leave your child alone for Christmas?

Would you let your parents take worse flights or cut their trip shorter to pay for you to go with them?