To wonder when people got so selfish

My neighbour 2 doors down plays her music so loudly! I can’t sit in my garden in peace to read. Such selfish behaviour and ironically she’s the first to complain if someone does the slightest thing she doesn’t like. Tried knocking on her door to complain, but inevitably she couldn’t hear me!!

Oh fair enough then, that’s not helpful.

Exactly this, which is spot on what he does. It backfires a couple of times for good measure.

Some of the music played loud on public transport could be the result of phones not having ear/headphones jacks anymore. Before this, left your earphones at home? Go into Poundland or a cheap shop to buy some earphones to keep you tied over.

i don’t remember anyone playing music on their loudspeakers when phones had jacks on them

Yes, of course it would. It's perfectly possible to drive a motor cycle more slowly and carefully and it would be a lot quieter - in fact they're pretty silent when cruising with low throttle, just coasting to a stop. Contrast that to some noisy sod revving and speeding and the sound will be several times more noisy.

But motorbikes are inherently noisy. Would it be any better at 20?

Seriously? How about driving it at 20 so it doesn’t wake the entire street up? I could hear next doors baby screaming her head off after he went past last night.

I think it's more that people lack tolerance and have an unrealistic expectation of silence and privacy.

You only have to read the threads in the last few days to see how batshit people have become. There are posters wanting their neighbours not to dry their underwear outside in case their DH see it, wanting them to move their BBQs, and wanting to suggest creating timetables for using the garden...

If you need silence or cannot bear the smell of someone having a BBQ, don't move to a house close to other people.

What’s he supposed to do - carry his motorbike to the end of the road?

At least if he’s doing 60 he’ll be gone quickly and the noise will only last a few seconds 😆

😆 🤣 sorry in response to @AImportantMermaid with the Friends theme tune!

I don't expect silence but I shouldn't have to listen to nextdoor playing such loud music that I can't hear my TV or waking me up at 1am. Nor should I have to put up with upstairs doing DIY at 10pm

a) Yesterday, I was in a walk-in-centre for the first time in a very long time

1. The reception desk that I was told by 111 I should go to told me very sternly I was in the wrong place and need to go to another reception without even checking if there was a referral for me - 111 had told me they referred me to an optomologist. I just followed instructions thinking she knows better than me and ended up in urgent care > general doctor
2. general doctor was rude. No other way to describe her. She didn’t even look into my eye to check why I feel I’ve got something in it and declared it’s conjunctivitis and prescribed antibiotics. I was trying to explain it started with a feeling of something sharp in my eye, it’s been painful and gritting for a whole day before it got Red and inflamed/ infected and she just looked at me blankly. Read out loud something on her screen about dry eyes and perimenopause. No questions whether I have symptoms of either.

1. when in the waiting room this nice looking middle-aged lady started scrolling on her Facebook with the sound on loudspeaker. She was watching some dancing/ singing posts and we all had to listen. Lots of glances her way didst change anything. She didn’t have hearing issues as she went up as soon as she was called.

b) yesterday night time when it was muggier and felt hotter than ever as no breeze at all our new neighbours lit up a bbq.
it was eight and a half when everybody had all their windows open and children would be going to bed. Terrible smoke and smell of gas. We were shocked by how ill thought and inconsiderate that was. It’s a small terrace and the gardens are on top of each other.

Quite an assumption going on there.

I have a solid front door with no letterbox, and a postbox on the outside wall. I like it that way for security purposes.

I definitely don't drive a BMW, unless my DD's elderly mini counts (I don't drive it though, only she does). 🤣🤣🤣

I promise I don't look down on people. 😎😎

Perhaps it's the realisation that what used to be revered as 'the community' and 'selflessness' have been used as cover for some truly shitty behaviour over the years.

Politicians, public figures, the police, the NHS, religious leaders, the top brass in the entertainment industry have all proved themselves unworthy of respect, and have been used as cover by individuals who hold despicable views and engage in even more despicable behaviours.

I wouldn't be surprised if people have 'become selfish' because they have realised that there isn't anyone else looking out for them, and that if they choose to sacrifice their own peace of mind and put themselves out, they are just setting the bar of what will be expected of them in the future by people who never had any intention of reciprocating their generosity.

I could have written this post! Had this exact thought last night. Trying to get 2 children under 6 to sleep whilst close neighbours have no consideration for people around them, shouting in their garden, playing crazy loud music, then out the front barking dogs that have been left in the house with the windows open for hours. I've got noise anxiety at the best of times and this week has definitely been worse. It really does seem in the last ten years people have decided to not care how their behaviour impacts others. Reassuring to read this post though and know there are still like minded people out there 😅

As others have said I've been raised to respect other people and think outside of your space but it really does make me not want to care as much anymore 🙃

People who live in flats and terraced houses, can’t really have the expectation of being undisturbed - in the winter or the summer. I think it’s a bit entitled to expect to control the actions of others. Kids cry, dogs bark and who honestly gives a shit about weed smoke - it’s there and then it’s gone. Also what’s the point in paying more for a house with outside space only for neighbours to expect you not to hang out or make any noise there. You are being very unreasonable in my view.

Absolutely despicable!! The former Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, knew about serial abuser John Smyth but never reported it.

I agree. Some recent figures in authority have been the worst behaved of all. Makes it all seem totally acceptable.

Very true!! People used to significantly look up to “authority” figures in the past. But when the people “in power” break their own rules anarchy can arise. Then there are the cases where “authority” figures abuse their power in the most awful ways. Who do you trust?

I think lack of enforcement by the police, local councils, and other authorities is one of the major causes, as it's all been getting worse over the past couple of decades. They make it hard to report things, and then when you do, you never hear back and if you challenge them, they just lazily site "data protection" as to why they can't give you an update as to even if they're taking any action at all, so basically leave you in the dark.

I agree with @HonestLilacWriter Social media, the rise of individualism and a rise in narcissism plus the pandemic has made people much more selfish, aggressive and confrontational. Maybe a little crazy too. I’ve gone off the human race somewhat in the last 10 years as kindness & empathy seem to be in short supply.

Lockdown undoubtedly made it worse, but there were lots of selfish/arrogant people long before covid!! Our neighbour at my office was an entitled, arrogant, selfish tosser 20 years ago when I first moved there. He's actually mellowed a bit over the years and actually slightly helpful during lockdowns!

I agree with you!! I was just pointing out why a lot more people don’t follow the rules and have become more entitled and selfish, especially since Covid.

Yep. They ripped the piss out of us. People had to go into hospital alone and stay alone even if they were dying. Old people discharged from the hospitals into care homes where the virus spread like wid fire. No gatherings with family all over Christmas. Daily briefings from the government that myself, dh and sons made sure to watch every night to get the latest updates and “instructions”. Then we find out that a senior advisor to Johnson broke the ‘rules’ to drive to where he fancied going. This was dressed up as “testing his eyesight”. THEN it comes to light that there were numerous parties attended by government officials plus the health secretary, who stood at the briefings lecturing us carrying on with some woman in his office!! Complete and utter piss take. No wonder things have all taken a downward turn here. Lead by example you top-hat-wearing-over-privileged-no-rules-apply-to-me cunts

The only one that would bother me is the weed (if you can smell it you are being exposed to it).

Noise is expected in a built up area.