AIBU to resent my husband’s weight loss and his mum’s comments?

I have similar issues with my MIL - she'll gush about how well my OH looks since starting the gym but never even commented when I'd lost 1.5 stone and was wearing an outfit that really showed it. She'll also never comment if I've have a haircut or colour change - she just cant bring herself to compliment me ever since I pulled her up on being a shit grandparent to some of her grandchildren.
Ignore the old trout and crack on with what you're doing - your steady weight loss is more sustainable than his with the jabs, especially if he stops them and continues to eat like crap at work.

There are multiple things going on here that need to be separated out.

Your MILs behaviour is completely inappropriate regardless of who's taking what. He ought to be backing you up there, for both of your sakes and also your kids. This will get worse as they get older and she starts on them.

He shouldn't be buying the kids unnecessary shit regardless of your weight, his weight or anyone's weight loss methods. He IBU.

YABU to resent him for simply existing as an WLI user and wanting to maintain privacy. It's not his doing that people comment on his weight loss and he has no obligation to share that information with anyone just because you would like him to. MIL also sounds like a particularly bad person to share that kind of information with.

You are also BVVU to centre yourself so much in his weight loss. It exists independently of you, and it's not his problem that you've decided to do it in a particular way.

Lastly, he IBU to buy so much crap for his part of the cooking. Again this would be the case regardless of anyone's weight or dieting choices. You also have no obligation to listen to him whining about feeling shit when he eats crap. In the same way you feeling bad about the impact of your choices as compared to his isn't his problem, his guts aren't yours. Tell him to shut up.

Honestly, the next time your MIL says anything to you about your weight, I'd definitely tell her that her son is on Mounjaro. He doesn't show you any loyalty by telling his mum to stop her snarky comments to you so you don't owe him your loyalty. He is basically lying by omission as it's obvious that his mum believes that his weight loss is all due to his will-power and healthy eating, neither of which is true.

Your diet is much healthier than his.

I’ve been on the since March last year and don’t eat clean or especially healthy (ND so limited diet).
I haven’t had any side effects other than a few headaches and a bit of indigestion.
I know several people also on the jabs and none of them eat clean either.
I obviously do eat in a strict calorie deficit in order to lose though.

If your DH is basking in the praise and not telling his DM to back off when she's grilling you about the gym, then time for a cryptic response. "I'm going quite often thanks, to build up my strength. It's a slower way to lose weight but I'm ok with that. We don't all want to take the easy option". Up to her what she makes of the comment.

And that’s absolutely fine - your choice. But you can’t bitch about someone else enjoying the effects of a medication you know you could take, but don’t want to, while you don’t get the same effect.

Talking clear undertones, the one is your posts is “I’m doing it properly, he’s cheeeeating!!! And he’s getting better results than me! It’s not faaaaaiiiir!!!”

It works like that for some people. For many, if they're not hungry they don't want the food, or stop eating after a small amount of it because they feel full and satisfied.
That isn't to say that it's a recommended way to do it, but plenty do. Not everyone experiences side effects if still eating high fat foods either.

OP I totally get it! He does get to eat what he wants, as in the type of food, just less of it. And that must be really annoying.

What his mother thinks she is seeing is a beloved son who has, all by himself, developed a miraculous super strength willpower (might not be the right word but you know what I mean) to resist eating how he was before and shed the weight, alongside she's seeing a lowly DIL who should be able to follow suit as miraculously as he has.

What she doesn't know is his willpower is medically induced, and he in fact isn't a miracle. I think it's amazing he's taking control of his health in whatever way needed, but I get why that is indirectly annoying as the better his willpower looks to his mum, the worse yours looks.

I think you need to just steer clear of her, as the only other solution is to dob him in, which also isn't advised.

This is exactly what I would do 🤣

This isn’t entirely true. Studies show that people who lose a lot of weight without medication also put a lot of it back on when they stop dieting. Obesity is complex and people who have obesity often struggle to remain a healthy weight even after spending years getting there.

I’m sorry but if you are a size 18 then that’s not eating well especially if you exercise a lot. You are overeating by a lot to get to and remain that size. Its diet and cutting calories that will see you lose weight even though building muscle is obviously great for long term health. I’d take another close look at your dietary intake, maybe see a dietitian.

Just tell his mum that you exercise a lot more than him but she knows what it’s like as a woman vs a man. She will nod sagely.

You're doing the right thing for for the long term OP (though it must be a nightmare to hear your MIL's comment). All the evidence shows that, while weight loss jabs are often a brilliant way to lose weight, unless you change your eating and exercise habits, you will put the weight back on when you stop taking them. So the chances are that your husband will just put the weight back on unless he stays on the jabs long term, whereas you will have built sustainably healthy habits.

You dont eat what you want on mounjaro. It doesnt work like that. You have to count calories. I lost 6 stone over 2 years and it was bloody hard work.
Mounjaro just helps you feel less hungry thats all.
If you havent lost weight its because you are eating too much. End of.

I haven’t told my parents. My mom would read one clickbait horror story and convince herself they will kill me, and my dad would send daily emails linking to similar articles and then text me to check I’d seen the emails.

Adults don’t, and should have to, tell their parents everything.

Ah mothers-in-law...idolising their sons and making their daughters-in-law absolutely miserable.

First time I met mine, when we announced our engagement, that evening when I said yes to second helpings of crumble she responded "you won't be able to get in your wedding dress". DH did actually snap at her. Same weekend she looked at the dress I was looking at in a magazine and said "that really wouldn't suit you with the shape of your thighs." 22 years later the comments about everything, especially about how little she eats and what other people eat, mean I am so angry all the time that I can barely look at her. Everything her sons do is marvellous, her daughters-in-law and daughter come in for lots of "funny" little comments loaded with criticism. It's exhausting.

OP you seem unhappy generally inc here and I hope you find your peace with MiL. As irritating as it is she is probably just caring in a perverse kind of way. Well done on the gym. No harm in jabs either.

I’m way more ok than you, that’s clear, I did take the meds, down from an 18 to a 10, bmi 32 to a 20, work out most days, feel fantastic,

so yes, I’m very very ok. More than ok. It is you who is not.

My DH is on the jab. He's very careful with his diet. The weight is coming off slowly. He hasn't told anyone, including me. He's a big walker and does cycling. As pp said it won't stay off.

@Pipiscoming2023 you carry on and ignore MIL.

He’s not lying to her, don’t be ridiculous, not telling people what medication you take is not lying, good god.

and you’d breach your own husbands privacy out of sheer spite ?

no wonder so many divorces. The op needs to tell her mil to shut it and then sort her own shit out.

He shuts his mum down immediately or you tell her he's been using the jab while you've been going to the gym. Do not let his family treat you like this! He's allowing it!

I'm probably a bitch but if that were me, next time she raises it I would say "The reason I'm not losing weight as fast as your son is because he's on the jabs and I'm not." He's effectively lying to her. It's not your responsibility to facilitate that.

Yes, she’s clearly over exaggerating due to her misery,