AIBU to resent my husband’s weight loss and his mum’s comments?

Yes, the thing with the London Marathon is that you sign up voluntarily and agree to observe some rules as part of that. They're in charge of what constitutes completing the Marathon and of cheating in it.

Whereas that isn't the case with weight loss. The reason some people struggle with this is because they think they're important enough to set rules that others ought to adhere to.

But why would you consider weight loss a competition in the first place? Being skinny isn't a prize to be won, or a indication of anything - some people naturally are slim and have small appetites, you don't expect them to go round declaring that and apologising they haven't had to use as much willpower as the next person.

@UniquePinkSwan the poster you're quoting is taking a medication that will cause her unpleasant side effects if she eats high fat food, and avoiding it has allowed her to lose weight.
Fat is high in calories, is easy to over eat (especially things like butter, mayo and oil) and not watching it can easily add up to enough excess calories to put on weight. That doesn't mean it's the only thing that can make you fat, or that we should go back to the artificially low fat foods of the 80s and 90s.

@OhItsRaining

There are posters on this thread acting holier than thou because they slimed down from an 18 to a 10 using them with the context they are better than the op. I’m sorry but you were likely overweight for years and unable to shift it through diet and exercise. It’s easy to preach when you’ve effectively taken a short cut. I know people take them alongside exercise and healthy eating but that is so much easier to do when you’re not feeling hunger in the way our bodies are designed to.

This exactly. People say it's not 'cheating' using weight loss injections to lose weight, and it's no different to losing weight without the injections. But IMO, it's like saying you've done the London marathon, when you did 21 of the 26 miles in your car.

Fat doesn't make you fat. Can't believe there are people out there who still believes this nonsense

The OP hasn't said his diet hasn't changed, she's said he's not making any effort with his diet, that he's still eating junk and eating what he wants. The drugs have just made him want less of it. That isn't unusual on mounjaro, not everyone gets gastro side effects from eating an unhealthy diet on them.

It's also moot at this point because given the newness and cost of the jabs, people who meet the prescription criteria are going to have tried and failed traditional methods anyway. The issue of people not putting in any hard work, stupid as the argument is, doesn't even exist yet. We're a few years away.

I think it's people with your attitude that leads to unnecessary suffering for others who are convinced by such nebulous concepts as 'honour' that they should be ashamed for taking pain relief, having an epidural for childbirth, antidepressants, disease modulating antirheumatic drugs, biologics, medication for ADHD, starting a course of therapy following a traumatic event such as a miscarriage/bereavement or for thinking they should be able to access something like a chair, step free access or the use of a mobility vehicle/wheelchair as an ambulant user.

Honour in your argument = martyrdom. There is no virtue in suffering. There is no lack of virtue in anybody using whatever legal, officially sanctioned means they need in order to achieve a goal related to their body.

As someone using WLIs, I’m surprised that your husband is losing weight with no change at all to his diet. This simply defies physics. These drugs increase feelings of satiety and for some people, suppress appetite, but they don’t melt fat (alas). Although his diet sounds awful, he must be eating less overall. But that’s by the by. He is not sticking up for you versus your MIL and you need to have a serious talk about how to handle the situation. He should have your back.

The medication can be legitimately prescribed for people BMI 25+ now, so not many people would have to lie to get that. Though it's unfair to assume that those taking it haven't put in any work, many people go to the gym and try and eat well and are still overweight.

I don’t feel this is justification for ignorance. We can help it. Blaming your issues doesn’t change that, When you fully recognise you’re about to write something jealous, ignorant and judgemental, you can stop yourself. You chose not to.

obesity is not a moral issue. It’s a health issue. It is not an issue we have to punish ourselves to resolve. The journey is not the goal. Getting our health back, both physical and mental is. Ensuring our future health is.

focusing on fat people should suffer is utterly abhorrent and you should be ashamed.

I can't tell from this whether it's just people lying to online pharmacies you have an issue with? As obviously, a person at the lower end of obesity wouldn't have to lie because they would meet the prescription criteria.

For those who are obese, the difficulty with an argument about there being no medical reason why it can't be done naturally is that the evidence shows most formerly obese people are going to regain the weight. If you didn't, I am pleased for you and long may that continue, but on a population level the science is very clear. There are undoubted, not a matter of opinion risks to having any BMI of 30+ and the evidence we have is that everything other than ongoing WLI usage means most people will regain the weight. With all the risks that entails.

I don’t feel my opinion is more valid than anyone else’s. As my dad would say, ‘opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one’. Nor do I proclaim my opinion is right. I have spent years battling issues with food and the one thing that has stayed with me is that there’s a morality around weight that the medication can’t cure. I don’t think there should be but it’s interesting to see how ingrained it is. Even in me who should know better.

I lost seven stone a few years back. It was hard but there was no medical reason why I couldn’t do it naturally. I see so many people lying to online pharmacy’s in order to get the drugs when they could do it themselves. That is what doesn’t sit right with me. It’s not a need, it’s a want to be thinner (not healthier, thinner) and I feel that you should work a bit to earn that.

Personally even if I was at my starting point again I wouldn’t take them. That Doctor Who episode with the adipose scarred me for life as a child! I fully recognise that it may well be my thinking that’s flawed but when your life has focussed on weight and eating disorders for a huge portion of your life it’s hard to change.

Anyone who loses a large amount of weight, especially relatively quickly, can have lose skin. There is nothing about MJ that causes skin to do that, it’s just what skin does when you lose a great deal of weight.

Keep pushing to get yourself in the healthy weight range, good on hubby for losing the weight, but work together so you get healthy eating habits.

There are two of us in my household on mounjaro, the cost is about £450 a month which seems a lot on he surface, but My food bill is cheaper, take away costs are down to only about £50-60 a month (family night is a monthly thing where we order takeaway for at least 4, sometimes 5 or 6 people) and it’s absolutely worth the cost. My BMI has come down from 52 to 30, my blood pressure from around 180/100 to 95/70, my Hba1c is down from bordering on diabetic, to completely normal, and the best part is I’m now able to be fitted for a prosthetic leg that i was told wasn’t possible at my highest weight.

Good for you.❤️ Have you considered letting slip about your husbands jabs to MIL? In error 😳

I don't understand how he has lost so much weight if he hasn't changed his eating habits. The jabs act as appetite regulators mainly, triggering feelings of fullness and reducing hunger. You could try increasing those effects yourself by improving your gut biome (you may already be doing this). Increasing fibre, (veg, beans, lentils etc) drinking water kefir about half an hour before you have anything to eat first thing, eating live natural yoghurt (NOT reduced fat). Your gut bacteria should help to regulate your appetite - often, if it's functioning well, you don't even want the kinds of foods your husband is eating.

My granddaughter lost a lot of weight on the jabs, but the side-effects were too bad, including a nasty staph infection she couldn't throw off. Sadly, she's back to her junk food diet and the weight is going back on.

If your weight is gradually coming down, you are doing it right and will see permanent benefits.

I think the biggest problem is the prevalence of edible food like substances which are highly engineered to be as addictive as possible. Where it not for this problem then far fewer of us would struggle to control our food intake.

Size 18 to 10 is not minor obesity. I've joined slimming world, weight watchers after every pregnancy to get back on track. Three times in fact. I've never had to climb the mountain other members had to. The NHS doesn't treat food noise for fat people. If a gastric band, a jab does the trick, go for it.

If you can do it with careful eating, exercise great, if not take whatever is available.

I'm not going to hate, but I am rather interested to know why you think you're better qualified than the various regulatory bodies to make this call. Also, as access to weight loss surgery has varied at different points in the past and also by area, how you're defining and factoring that in.

I’m going to get so much hate for this but I really don’t agree with the jabs being used for minor obesity. I’m not totally anti them by any means. I understand for chronic obesity and eating disorders they are a god send! But my feelings are unless you’re on the pathway that in the past would have resulted in weight loss surgery they should be avoided.

There are posters on this thread acting holier than thou because they slimed down from an 18 to a 10 using them with the context they are better than the op. I’m sorry but you were likely overweight for years and unable to shift it through diet and exercise. It’s easy to preach when you’ve effectively taken a short cut. I know people take them alongside exercise and healthy eating but that is so much easier to do when you’re not feeling hunger in the way our bodies are designed to.

I will always think doing it through diet and exercise alone is more ‘honourable’ than taking the jabs. Somethings that are worthwhile should require a bit of hard work. I am not in favour of medicating everything to avoid a bit of discomfort.

I have to disagree. One of the reasons people love mj is because they have been able to change very little and still lose weight, because they are in a calorie deficit. I dont agree with it because in the long run it can't be healthy if not eating properly.
I found it ridiculously easy to lose almost 6 stones on mounjaro. I did calorie count but having done that many times before i didnt find it hard work at all.
Its the maintenance i find harder now i have reduced my dose.
The slower gastric emptying reduces over time, so if eating junk food, the portions could increase and the weight go back on, even on mounjaro. OP's husband may find this a struggle!

Indeed. Anyone is free to set whatever rules they want for their games of weight loss, but not to impose them on people who didn't sign up for it.

As I said upthread, I'm very open about the whole thing and enjoy discussing it IRL. But lots of people aren't, and nobody is obliged to share private medical information with anyone. You'd think the people who are very keen for others to disclose would have the sense to realise that mouthing off about cheating is going to deter some users from being open about it. Personally if I came across anyone like that I'd make sure to rub their nose in it, make up loads of lies about how I eat KFC all day and the weight is still falling off me, but not everyone is up for that.