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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to resent my husband’s weight loss and his mum’s comments?

342 replies

Pipiscoming2023 · 27/06/2026 08:12

My DH started taking Mounjaro a few months ago and has lot 3 stone since then. He’s back to the weight he was in our 20s/when we got married.

I categorically don’t want to take medication to lose weight and work hard at the gym (at least 3x per week) and eat well. I’m strong but still a size 18, it’s slow progress but I’m okay with that.

Anyway, his mum is obsessed with our weight (I know it’s a her problem but I still find it hard to deal with the constant comments). So she’s has been heaping praise on her wonderful son for losing so much weight and asking me how often I go to the gym etc… clearly with the undertone of “why aren’t you losing the same?”

He doesn’t want to tell her he’s on the jabs. Fine, that’s down to him. But I’m starting to resent him for eating what he wants, not going to the gym and losing all this weight (and being praised incessantly for it) whereas I’m working hard and trying to make myself strong and healthy, and feel like I’m being judged and made to feel terrible.

OP posts:
Overtheatlantic · 27/06/2026 08:31

You seem very immature for resenting your husband for his weight loss when you should have told your Mil to fuck off years ago.

Pipiscoming2023 · 27/06/2026 08:29

He does eat what he wants, he’s not eating healthy at work (still garage sandwiches, crisps and chocolate). I do healthy dinners for all of us and he will do a Huel for breakfast. If it’s his turn to ‘cook’ then he gets pizzas, fish and chips etc and then complains he has gastro problems the next day.

I think the resent is definitely more about the mum, everyone is right there. I just wish he would tell her the truth or tell her to leave me alone but he doesn’t.

OP posts:
Marwoodsbigbreak · 27/06/2026 08:27

I agree MIL is the problem here. I would spend far less time with her.

If you don’t want to lose weight that’s totally your decision. I doubt she would change her tune simply because DH is using WLI.

Sparrowsandbudgies · 27/06/2026 08:26

I think I’d have to “accidentally” let it slip that he’s on the jabs 😬🙈 oops!

Sparkletastic · 27/06/2026 08:26

In response to MIL enquiring about gym attendance I’d say ‘Why do you ask?’

I’d follow it up with ‘Mounjaro isn’t for everyone’ whilst giving DH a hard stare.

Velvetandleather · 27/06/2026 08:26

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 27/06/2026 08:24

YABU. You have the option to take the jabs, you don't want to. You shouldn't be pissy because he chose to take the jabs and lost weight.

Yeah either this is rage bait, or well this is rage bait. No one living with someone on thr meds thinks they jist eat what they wish and the fat melts off. Lol, that’s a social media myth,

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 27/06/2026 08:24

YABU. You have the option to take the jabs, you don't want to. You shouldn't be pissy because he chose to take the jabs and lost weight.

Lardybumbum · 27/06/2026 08:24

He’s shouldn’t be eating what he wants or
the weighloss will stall and eventually go back on. MJ isn’t really the easy option everyone thinks it is, if there’s no lifestyle change (ie not eating whatever he wants) then there’s no point to it.

i have a mum obsessed with weight and it gets
tiring. I tell her it’s not appropriate to discuss bodyweight these days and she’ll
say I’m just complimenting you without realising that’s part of the problem. You have to just tell her to stop. What she says to her son is none of your business tho and him not wanting to reveal how he’s lost weight is his business. If you tell her then there’s a problem and it’s you.

Coconutter24 · 27/06/2026 08:23

She now asks it in more indirect ways (like how often am I going to the gym).

I’d tell her I go 3x more a week than her DS does! Why is she obsessed with both of your weight? Is she overweight or quite healthy and into gym?

Velvetandleather · 27/06/2026 08:22

What do you mean eating what he wants, you need to diet on the meds. You also need to eat clean and healthy or you’d have gastro impacts. So Well done him. How can you resent him when it’s your choice not to take them and struggle,

Pipiscoming2023 · 27/06/2026 08:21

There is a definite undertone. She used to ask me straight up why I don’t lose weight until I asked her not to talk about my body. She now asks it in more indirect ways (like how often am I going to the gym).

I don’t know why he doesn’t want to tell her. I assume he’s embarrassed or just likes the praise too much. When I ask he just says he doesn’t want to.

OP posts:
CollectorOfAnimals · 27/06/2026 08:20

It doesn’t sound like your husband is the issue, it’s your MIL and your own issues with your own weight and how your husband has lost his weight.

LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife · 27/06/2026 08:17

Are you losing weight?

Lampzade · 27/06/2026 08:16

Then it’s up to your dh to talk to his mum instead of basking in the praise

Also men generally lose weight at a faster rate than women

WhatAMarvelousTune · 27/06/2026 08:16

clearly with the undertone of “what aren’t you losing the same?”

Is there a clear undertone? Or is it something you are perceiving that might not be there? Are you resenting your husband but directing that at your MIL? What is she saying about you?

Daleksatemyshed · 27/06/2026 08:14

Why doesn't he want to tell his DM he's using the jabs?

RoseField1 · 27/06/2026 08:13

It's not fair for you to resent him when it's his mum who is the issue. You're doing great with the exercise and if he's genuinely eating what he wants and not exercising he won't keep the weight off for long when he comes off it!