AIBU to resent my husband’s weight loss and his mum’s comments?

His medical information is no concern of his mother’s. Your GP is informed if you are on WLI and I very much doubt people tell their mothers every other medication they could be on such as antidepressants, viagra, prep etc.

I agree with this.

It’s his mum that is the issue.

Although he needs to tell her to shut up or not invite her around.

I used to have an ED and these types of comments would have seriously impacted me.

How often do you see her? Can you avoid her?

Have you told DH how you’re feeling?

Obviously the injections will be helping but men do lose weight much quicker than women without seemingly trying and so even if your DH wasn’t on the jabs and just eating slightly less the weight would still drop off him initially.

Insist that he asks his mother to cease talking about his weight. He needs to tell her straight that he has had enough comments about his body from her.

Who in their right mind comments on people's bodies continually?

Just say to her 'How do you think he's lost weight without changing his diet or doing any exercise?' and leave her to ponder the answer.

I'd be annoyed with him for not admitting it tbh. But I guess it's up to him really so maybe that's a bit harsh.

He really should be telling her that neither of you want to hear her gassing on about weight constantly.

Surely he’s not “eating what he wants”. Fat jabs don’t increase your metabolism, just reduce hunger. Eating food makes him gain weight just like it did before. He must’ve lost weight because he’s eating less now.

You made a choice, he made a choice, let him be. The problem is not your husband but your toxic MIL

Your DH should stop sabotaging your efforts by ordering pizzas etc. No one can resist that sort of food. Especially when working out. His long term prospects for maintenance don’t look promising.

I agree with this. Next time she asks about the gym just ask her why she has such an obsession over what someone else is doing. After that I'd be tempted to say it's none of your business.

@Pipiscoming2023 So basically he isn't making the right changes to his diet, and he will have to take mounjaro for life or get fat again as soon as he stops.

But you are doing the right thing...

But it's not fair he hasn't told his mum so clearly he knows he is cheating but then lapping up the praise.

I suggest telling him to confess to how he is losing the weight its not fair on you who is trying to make healthy lifestyle changes instead.

I wouldn't (I hope) but I might threaten to if he doesn't tell her to leave you alone

I don't get how she doesn't realise he's on the jabs! If I see someone whose lost a lot of weight over a short space of time despite being overweight for the time I've known them, I just assume they are. I would never ask, judge, or give it more than an initial thought. But I can't be the only one who does this? In fact experience IRL tells me I know I'm definitely not.

OP I'm not sure what I think really but I do know I'd be annoyed by both of them in your situation...regardless of whether its unreasonable. And personally if I was him I could never sit there knowing the truth while she made these comments to you...even if it's not his fault.

His relationship with her is between them, and yours with her is between you.

Leave him out of it and just tell her directly that you don't want to discuss your weight loss with her, and then just don't get baited into it when she tries. No silly pass agg with veiled references to jabs or meaningful looks that nobody cares about. Just be honest and direct about the stuff that concerns you.

As a wise woman once said, shake it off. You know why he's having faster results than you - he's a man and he's on the jabs. Your MIL's ignorance in all respects doesn't matter.

People can have a very odd view of size 16/18. I'm 5'10" and lost six stone to become a 16. A fourteen makes me look very thin as I have a huge bust and no leg fat. Are you happy with your progress? I didn't take the jabs ( I tried, made me very ill) but you know what I'd tell your mil her golden boy takes the jabs next time she says anything. What if you were away and he was taken ill? I was blue lighted. He's nuts not to have shared this knowledge with direct family.
Is your mil a diet queen? I know of at least two 70+ women with eating disorders and it's shocking. Both of them take their phobias out on their daughters.

What and his body defies science and the weight melts off.

look you’re clearly jealous of his weight loss. Which is the real issue here. So either go on a proper diet or accept your weight. I am not sure I beleive you’re with your mil so often that you’re constantly bombarded with this.

you are obviously unhappy with your weight. And your husbands weight loss has amplified that for you. Instead of being jealous and resentful either accept your weight or manage it.

he doesn’t need to tell anyone about his medication, it’s private, just like if you were taking meds and didn’t wish people to know. And you are not in competition with him.

You should accidentally on purpose let it slip 😂😂😂
That will shut his mum up and hopefully make your husband a bit embarrassed about how his mum is being snide to u x

He's not telling his mum to knock it off?
If he isnt putting her in her place then you owe him nothing re his wli secret so you should tell his mum that while you dont have a problem with anyone using the jabs to help them, its not what you want to do so yes, its taking longer but you are happy with it and she needs to stop with the not so subtle comments because she's fooling nobody.

Set a boundary with him.

Either he tells his Mum to drop it.

Or you tell his Mum how he lost the weight.

One or the other. He can’t have both.

I’d be seeing anyone who continually commented on my weight a lot less though.

My mum is generally lovely and I still wouldn’t tell her if I took them. She wouldn’t approve and she wouldn’t be able to stop herself commenting on it.

I'd tell her you could take WLI like so many others do (looking sideways at DH) but you prefer not to.

If she goes on just tell her you're not interested in discussing your health with her.

She sounds like a rude judgy cow. You couldn't pay me enough to voluntarily tell my dad I'm on the jabs!

I would tell his mum he’s on the jabs 🤣

Im on Mounjaro and have lost 4 stone. I haven’t told everyone I know but I couldn’t in all conscience sit there quiet and let my partner be judged in this way. I’d have to step in and defend you. And if I needed to tell someone that I was on MJ to shut them up then that’s what I’d do.

stand up for yourself op
no comments are required

You only lose weight on the jabs by eating less. So what does he “eats what he wants” mean? That he naturally doesn't fancy food as much so he’s eating less but you can see he isn’t mentally suffering to do so? Or that he is only eating a small number of calories but he’s using those calories on junk?

I can see why the latter would cause you resentment, but ultimately it’s your choice to not use the jabs.

For your MIL, I’d just keep telling her to stop talking about your body. If she continues, leave the conversation. That’s all you can do. It’s your husband’s choice not to tell her about the jabs, but he also should be telling her not to be a twat to you.

You know you are being unreasonable about your dh. He has chosen to take WLI and has the resulting benefits (and known & unknown risks).

You have chosen to take the drug free route which is an equally valid and laudable choice. You deserve equal respect for your efforts.

Your MIL should butt out. Her views are irrelevant and unhelpful.

Sounds like you’re taking responsibility for your own health in the way that works best for you.

And like you need to work on holding a very clear boundary with his mum around it being precisely none of her business.

Good for your husband on losing weight the way he wanted to. I’d try not to get too involved in his relationship with his mum, sounds complicated.