Calling the police to check on a crying baby

You did absolutely the right thing. Preston Davy screamed and screamed and if somebody had done the same thing he might be alive now. Safeguarding is everybody’s responsibility. I had a baby who turned out to be autistic. When he was tiny he screamed constantly unless he was being fed, most likely due to massive sensory overload that he couldn’t explain. He was inconsolable and even as an experienced parent, I did not know what to do. I did speak to neighbours as I knew it was disruptive and I live in a terrace. I sought help from the HV, GP etc. If somebody had called the police I would have understood. It’s better to be wrong than do nothing.

I don’t think you were wrong to call the police for a check, but you were very wrong to assume that the parents were making no attempts to calm the child. When my DD had colic she would scream hysterically despite us walking the floor with her for hours, rocking her, gently talking to her and singing to her, putting her in a sling, a rocker, pushing in her pram, literally everything we could try and NOTHING calmed her.

Nobody at any point has suggested that is what you should have done and I think you know that.

This is what happens when you make an AIBU post - You invite people to judge you. If you can't stand the heat and all that...

'Triggered'? Not reading it properly?

It's noticeable that at no point in your post you give any passing mention of reassuring parents who had/have a baby that cries for 30 mins or so when a pair of police officers show up banging on their door (and likely waking said baby up again in the process if by some miracle they'd actually gone to sleep) during those visits.

Hi just to clarify OP you 100% done the right thing. Social services are not an emergency service and the police were the ones who could respond for something like this. If needed they will then contact social services and ask for their assistance. Well done op!

I'd call it sleep deprived parents at the end of their tether because their baby won't stop crying.

Typing on a forum, everyone's a superhero. In the real world, if something is wrong at the home and you stroll over to 'assess the situation', a parent opens the door. You ask if everything's okay, the baby sounds distressed. They say yes, the baby's very hot, has reflux, whatever. You suggest a cool sponge bath. Through gritted teeth, they thank you for taking an interest. And slam the door.

Now you feel better for having 'done something' but have zero further insight to the situation. The police can demand to see all members of the family, have experience and background knowledge if applicable, and can insist on entry.

You did the right thing.

Car doors slamming. Unless there’s no houses between OP’s and the baby’s she had no way of knowing where that was coming from. Same with the raised voices.

It’s not unusual for car doors to slam at midnight on a Friday in a residential area. People come home from a night out or leave their friend’s after an evening together, especially in the Summer.

Domestic dispute could just be a normal argument about whose turn it is to wash the dishes. It's not automatically domestic abuse.

If the crying was so loud that relyl far away you could hear it... is it possible you were just too far away to hear the parents attempting to soothe. I don't scream when I'm soothing a baby. i coo gently and cry helplessley when it goes on and on and on

I think it's fine you sent the police but it does seem a bit of an OTT response.

Raised voices and slamming doors and 1am - what would you call that ?

Do you live somewhere where it’s normal to behave like that ? Do you regularly hear screaming and crying that you’ve become so accustomed to the sound and no longer find it concerning ?

Just another voice here saying to trust your gut. I'd rather be accussed of being an interfering neighbour than risk letting a child be harmed.

Yes, it could potentially really upset and stress the parents out. I'd have been devastated snd felt like a bad mother if a neighbour reported me when my baby wouldn't settle but they are not the priority in this situation.

Every time a child is abused or killed people crawl out of the woodwork to say they'd seen it but didn't do anything. Don't be that person.

I think it's probably a case of they were doing some version of "controlled crying" (which is abuse in itself but that's another post) and the stress of that and a newborn.

But, you did the right thing.

I see the parents of colicky babies are triggered by this post. Perhaps they’re so tired they haven’t read it properly.

Its fine OP… there’s nothing wrong with making the call. It’s one of those calls which might have got bumped down the list if the police were busy so they may not have made it until later. It’s all in the job though ….a lot of time is spent by police on issues of welfare. Ultimately you make the call and they’ll decide what the course of action is. It’s a complete waste of time notifying Social
services or NSPCC at midnight. They have no powers to do anything in an emergency. ( if for example the child needed to be removed )

In case there’s any doubt I was an officer and trainer in child protection for many years. We don’t expect members of the public to conduct their own investigations prior to calling. The fear that they are wasting someone’s time or it doesnt meet some threshold inhibits people from sharing information when they have very reasonable fears.

If you have a colicky child and you worry that your neighbours could be concerned perhaps speak to them and let them know what’s happening so they can be reassured.

You were right to call them. With recent news I wouldn’t hesitate. You cannot take any chances when kids are involved. People are too slow to report bad situations for kids out of fear of being wrong or seen to be interfering. I would rather be wrong every time than ignore it and have another Baby Preston. I can’t help but wonder if things could have been different for him if a kind neighbour like you would have reported his distressed cries.

Those people suggesting you go out at 1am and get involved in a domestic dispute are fools.

I hope the baby is ok.

How do you know it was a domestic dispute?

Better safe than sorry, you did the right thing. I also wouldnt have gone over into a potentially volatile situation (doors slamming, raised voices etc) when I have my old child sleeping at home. These people are strangers.

TLDR for everyone that doesn't even read the whole OP and just keeps talking about colicky babies;

Do not call the police if ALL you've heard/seen/know is a baby crying for 30 mins.

Please DO at least consider calling the police if a baby is crying AND there's repeated shouting AND repeated slamming of doors that sounds abnormally loud and violent.

It was 30 minutes.

I’m also not aware that you can always get babies to stop crying.

However there were sounds of a domestic disturbance as well, so I think that would have been poor judgement by the police not to do a welfare check.

It’s very very likely a baby that just can’t settle. But if something was wrong you’d never forgive yourself. So I think you were right better safe than sorry

What the actual fuck is wrong with some people. How many more dead babies do you need to read about in the press before you deem it sensible to get police involved. If it's entirely innocent, then there is no problem and the police can be on their way. I will tell you one thing though, it's the last time the parents allow their poor defenceless baby to cry for hours on end again. So well done to the OP

I'd have had the Police visiting every day from 6pm until 10am when DD1 was a baby.

As it was, we just covered about a thousand miles a week as the only time she didn't cry was when the car was moving. That was with switching from BF to non dairy formula (I was constantly being harangued by my mother that I was clearly starving my baby and there must be something wrong with me/my milk - she didn't approve of the non dairy but DD was even worse on standard formula - MIL was no better as she was insisting that if I was going to let DD down by not BF, the only option was to give her standard milk from the milkman), infacol, sterile peppermint water, all of the attempts to comfort her that we could and when the two of us were operating on about 20 minutes sleep at a time, yeah, we squabbled occasionally when DD's crying was particularly unrelenting and we'd run out of money for petrol.

The Ex may have ultimately been a twat, but he did months of driving through the night so I could get a few minutes of half sleep (until he had to stop at some traffic lights).

The idea that somebody nearby was calling the Police on us and thought we were child abusers/neglectful when we were doing everything we could would have done a right number on me when I was already wondering why my baby hated me so much.

For hours, yes, I get it - but after 30 minutes? That was longer than DD slept at any given time for 3 years.

Was the slamming doors and shouting from the babies address? If so that seems potentially reasonable, but crying alone definitely wouldnt be.
My DS had silent reflux and until we figured out the cause he would cry for a couple of hours inconsolably each evening. Id taken him to the gp and spoken to the health visitors repeatedly and it was initially put down to being colic until the third gp appointment where they prescribed reflux medication to see if that was the cause and it completely solved it.
I would be walking around the living room holding him to try and settle him until he would eventually fall asleep but there was no indication from his crying that he was being comforted.

Calling the police was clearly a good idea because they attended to check the child's safety, but I can't see that giving live updates on Mumsnet was necessary or helpful.

Ha, 2008? Mere whippersnapper! Some of us have been here since the millennium party decorations were still in a box in the corner 😂It's true though, there did used to be BF advisors that would run round to your house in the middle of the night and communal camping trips. BUT there were also people (in general, not specific MN cases) who got stabbed or the shit kicked out of them for intervening in DV cases. That's why now we call the police instead, not because no-one cares anymore but because some people are shitty.