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Tipping waiting staff..

233 replies

JacknDiane · 26/06/2026 21:16

Ive just read an article about football fans visiting the US and being frustrated at how expensive the tipping culture is over there. Its because US waiting staff are paid so little, the tips are meant to boost their wages. But visitors are saying the staff should be properly paid and its on businesses to ensure staff are properly paid, not on the customer to be expected to make up the wages shortfall. I think football fans from around the world are feeling the pinch in the US as they are getting ripped off anyway.

BUT its made me think. We dont eat out much here in the UK, its frankly expensive and not always great. But whenever we do eat out, I notice a service charge is always added automatically to the bill. And frankly it makes the bill quite a bit higher. Id love a cocktail with my dinner or lunch but I very very rarely have one, as they can be £8-£9 each. So I have either water or a soft drink. But then the bill comes and the tip is often £8-£9. That's the cocktail I usually deny myself. And it sort of pisses me off. I earn 25p over minimum wage. Dh isn't on much more. And im guessing the hospitality staff are on similar to me. Im in retail and I give customers good service . But I dont get tips and of course I dont expect tips. Yet waiting staff here get minimum wage and we still tip them 10% of the bill. So they'll be earning a whole lot more than me. Yet I feel mean if I dont tip.

What's the answer? Please bare in mind my earnings and how infrequently we eat out. Its a treat, and drinks are usually water or coke to keep costs down. Having a coffee at the end and sharing a dessert is a treat too.
Then the bill comes and im expected to tip someone better paid than me. The tip is always on the bill, gone are the days the tip feels optional.
And I know this isn't the waiting staff's fault. I know they dont make the rules and i know the tips are pooled between all staff working.
But it just feels too much when our budget is stretched to the limit. I also know ive tipped and the staff/ meal frankly weren't all that great. But I feel pressure when its on the bill.

Am I the only low waged person to feel like this?

OP posts:
Flamingojune · 28/06/2026 21:52

Ilovemychocolate · 27/06/2026 19:27

Believe you me, the first time I did it, my dd was ready to crawl under the chair 😁
Now she doesn’t even raise an eyebrow.

Or shes learned to hide her feelings

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 28/06/2026 21:16

Ilovemychocolate · 28/06/2026 20:36

You know it’s optional right? You have freedom of choice to refuse to pay it.

It isn't really optional unless you are tight or have very bad service.

WallaceinAnderland · 28/06/2026 20:41

HelpSendMoreMuesli · 28/06/2026 16:06

That’s ridiculous. I doubt any of the tippers are happy about it but they feel it is appropriate to reward hard working, low paid people who are providing an enjoyable service for them. I’d rather have more cash in my pocket, just like everyone else but it would be selfish not to tip imo

Do you tip everyone on minimum wage that serves you or only waiting staff. I find that odd tbh. But you are happy to tip or you wouldn't do it. No one is forcing you to, it's entirely your own choice.

If big tippers aren't happy about it then they should stop doing it. I don't know why you'd give money away if you didn't want to.

Ilovemychocolate · 28/06/2026 20:36

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 28/06/2026 19:32

Why would you? If it is expected as part of eating there and clearly stated on the menu, don't eat there if you do not agree, eat elsewhere.

You know it’s optional right? You have freedom of choice to refuse to pay it.

Ilovemychocolate · 28/06/2026 20:35

Flamingojune · 28/06/2026 16:13

I would not want a seat at that table. Put on your big girl pants and pay the tip

OR put on your big girl pants and make the choice of your own volition…and don’t worry, I don’t want you at my table.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 28/06/2026 19:32

BippityBopper · 28/06/2026 17:20

Or you can ask for the additional service charge to be removed.

Why would you? If it is expected as part of eating there and clearly stated on the menu, don't eat there if you do not agree, eat elsewhere.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 28/06/2026 17:39

@ponyprincess Tipping in the USA is absolutely not optional. It’s expected and it’s 20% now. When did you last go there?

ponyprincess · 28/06/2026 17:33

In the US tipping is usually optionally so less awkward not to do it.

In the UK I think it should also be optional in restaurants- I prefer places where it is optional when you use the card machine.. as PPs have said, lots of people are on minimum wage but I don't tip the person at the till in a shop, etc

BippityBopper · 28/06/2026 17:20

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 28/06/2026 16:37

In the USA, tipping is expected. If football fans haven't done their research on their destination location, that's on them.

In most chain restaurants upwards in the UK, an additional service charge is expected. It says so on the menu. If you don't approve etc, don't eat there.

Or you can ask for the additional service charge to be removed.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 28/06/2026 16:37

In the USA, tipping is expected. If football fans haven't done their research on their destination location, that's on them.

In most chain restaurants upwards in the UK, an additional service charge is expected. It says so on the menu. If you don't approve etc, don't eat there.

anniegun · 28/06/2026 16:19

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 28/06/2026 16:10

Since when are staff in a Michelin starred restaurant on low pay? The full cost should be the advertised cost. This is the case in Switzerland!

Our local Michelin starred restaurant pays waiters min wage plus a share of tips

Flamingojune · 28/06/2026 16:17

latetothefisting · 27/06/2026 18:45

this is one of those sayings that people repeat without realising that it makes no sense. Why not 'if you can afford a main course you can afford three courses. If you can afford half a pint you can afford a cocktail. If you can afford the beefeater you can afford the ritz. If you can afford a meal for 2 you can cover the whole table. If you can afford to tip 15% you can afford to tip 30%.'

Why is not wanting to pay one extraneous payment cheap but not others?

Besides which its missing the key point that OP CAN'T afford the meal she wants (i.e. including a drink) and a tip.

It's also extremely snobby. So if other minimum wage workers can't really afford to tip because they are already stretching themselves to afford the very occasional treat out, they should just sit at home in the dark?

Why the dark?

igelkott2026 · 28/06/2026 16:16

Flamingojune · 28/06/2026 16:09

I would have thought if you can affird to go to usa for world cup, you can afford to tip

Maybe that's why they can't afford to tip because all the money has gone on the ludicrous ticket prices.

anniegun · 28/06/2026 16:15

Tips and service charges are not subject to VAT and NI. Therefore it is the most efficient way of passing revenue to staff. If restaurants just rolled these costs into menu prices they would have to add much more than the 12.5% service charge. So customers would end up paying more and the government would get the difference

igelkott2026 · 28/06/2026 16:15

Moonnstarz · 27/06/2026 16:14

It's interesting that reading the comments a lot of people are saying they will give cash so it goes directly to the server. If you have had a good meal out do you not want it to go to the chef who made it?!
As pointed out a lot of staff have to hand over any cash they are given and it has to be put into a shared pot. Then it is divided between all staff on shift that night.

Which I don't agree with. The chef is rightly paid much more than the serving staff. And if a particular member of waiting staff has been really good. they should get my tip, not have to share it with the eye-rollers.

But as I said above, I find the whole thing smacks of middle class people looking down on those who they perceive to be lesser than them.

Accept the point about English football fans behaving badly and leaving a big mess for the staff to pick up and so should tip. So maybe the yummy mummies with the messy toddlers should leave generous tips in the UK too.

Flamingojune · 28/06/2026 16:13

Ilovemychocolate · 27/06/2026 09:06

Just put your big girl pants on, and when the bill comes, politely give it back to the waitress/waiter and ask for the service charge to be taken off.
It gets easier the more times you do it!

I would not want a seat at that table. Put on your big girl pants and pay the tip

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 28/06/2026 16:10

Since when are staff in a Michelin starred restaurant on low pay? The full cost should be the advertised cost. This is the case in Switzerland!

Flamingojune · 28/06/2026 16:09

I would have thought if you can affird to go to usa for world cup, you can afford to tip

HelpSendMoreMuesli · 28/06/2026 16:06

WallaceinAnderland · 28/06/2026 15:42

I'm glad there are a mix of big tippers and non tippers on this thread. It kind of evens it all out. The big tippers are paying for the non tippers and everyone seems to be happy about it. Great result.

That’s ridiculous. I doubt any of the tippers are happy about it but they feel it is appropriate to reward hard working, low paid people who are providing an enjoyable service for them. I’d rather have more cash in my pocket, just like everyone else but it would be selfish not to tip imo

WallaceinAnderland · 28/06/2026 15:42

I'm glad there are a mix of big tippers and non tippers on this thread. It kind of evens it all out. The big tippers are paying for the non tippers and everyone seems to be happy about it. Great result.

HoppityBun · 27/06/2026 19:54

WeatherOrNothing · 27/06/2026 09:31

Agree, I don’t understand why people tip a hairdresser. I pay 250+ at a time and that’s where it ends. It’s up to the owner to pay the hair washers a proper wage. I don’t tip my nail tech either. Why? You’re doing the service that I paid for.

I pay around £20 - £25 and just round the sum up. It’s a quick in and out every 4 weeks and makes a huge difference to my appearance.

HoppityBun · 27/06/2026 19:50

topcat2026 · 27/06/2026 08:57

The kitchen staff are getting a wage, just like a barista, care worker, retail assistant etc.

Everybody is getting a wage. The point I was responding to was about why tips are pooled in a restaurant. The thread is about tips

user1471538275 · 27/06/2026 19:45

@Zanatdy But why do you add a tip??

Why are you paying the person who has already been paid?

Zanatdy · 27/06/2026 19:41

Everywhere I eat in my local area (south east) adds a service charge. Makes it easier than working out a tip which I did anyway.

user1471538275 · 27/06/2026 19:32

Also, forced service charge doesn't consider the skill level of the server at all - they could be experienced, knowledgeable and excellent at their job - or brand new, utterly clueless and terrible - service charge will still be applied. (although more likely for people to ask to have it removed)

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