AIBU to raise concerns after school let father-in-law apply suncream when not an approved collector?

This.

Either go yourself or put him on the list of approved people if you’re ok sending him to your kids educational setting unattended.

I can see both sides of this but I like to think the school has used a bit of common sense and intuition here. They have a child that doesn’t have sun cream on so won’t be allowed outside and have a grandfather turn up with sun cream after being asked to drop it in by a parent. They know they can’t apply it so have asked an adult that the parents clearly trust apply it to the child. I get there are safe guarding rules but surely some situation are so clear that surely a bit of common sense can prevail. The FIL didn’t ask to see the child he was just handing the sun cream over, if he was up to anything untoward he would have asked for the the child.

You’re being very controlling by shutting down the debate with your patronising, condescending, rhetorical question.

I don't think you've overreacted to have mentioned it. It's not like you kicked off or demanded a meeting with the Head. If they have satisfactory safeguards in place then they'll be able to explain how these were followed and put your mind at rest. If they don't, then they need to address it straight away. No harm done raising your concerns in a reasonable manner.

@Restlessdreams1994 He was known to your child and you sent him in with suncream which he applied to her visible skin in a supervised environment.
Come on, all the famous sex offenders from the news, they all knew children, they are teachers, they’re looking after the schools, they’re the fathers, the grandfathers, they were ALL known to children. And they would all have applied sunscreen given the chance.

He did not leave the school with her. Unless there is a lot of backstory that the OP hasn’t included, this is not a safeguarding issue.

Safeguarding doesn’t kick in when someone tries to take a child off the premises, it starts before that.

I have been involved in safeguarding both professionally and personally. 🤯🤯🤯

The school will be very aware of which children are known to services, who is not allowed contact, what concerns have been raised etc. There will be safeguarding plans in place for the children who need them.

Many times, children are only known to social services after something has happened.

They would absolutely know if OP’s child was not allowed contact with her grandfather and would not have brought her anywhere near him if that were the case.

Hopefully, but what if something happened that morning, eg he was released from jail? No one knows. That is why checks are there.

I wasn't commenting on him having "hands on a child" though, I was correcting the mistaken assumption that a Grandparent would have to be on an approved collection list in order to be allowed "past the reception area" and into the school building. They don't. They do have to be supervised by staff, whether they're on the collection list or not.

You literally were the person who sent him in with the suncream. Stop being ridiculous

This
Schools have a very hard time.
Common sense must prevail.

It is. Concerts and other events are different.

I was simply commenting on your assertion that him "getting past the reception area" was a serious disciplinary issue in and of itself.

Then maybe the OP should look at her own lack of organisation, it was all her fault, she forgot the suncream, she asked her FIL for a favour.

This. I’m genuinely shocked at the responses from some posters on here. How much abuse takes place in families by known family members, perhaps more likely an uncle than a grandfather, but still. In no way a reflection on the OP’s FIL, but the school doesn’t know this.

This isn't about how the OP feels about her FIL. This is about how the school reacted. Don't miss the point.

You are being ridiculous. You shouldn't have asked him to drop it off if thats the way you feel. I wouldn't be in a hurry to do you a favour.

Absolutely.

Which would be ok if he was on the approved list.
As it is they allowed someone they don’t know who is not approved to have his hands on a child.
Luckily in this case it’s fine, the op is ok with him helping his GC, but the fact remains that school majorly fucked up and allowed this to happen, and have broken safeguarding protocols.

This is ridiculous!

He was known to your child and you sent him in with suncream which he applied to her visible skin in a supervised environment. He did not leave the school with her. Unless there is a lot of backstory that the OP hasn’t included, this is not a safeguarding issue.

I have been involved in safeguarding both professionally and personally. The school will be very aware of which children are known to services, who is not allowed contact, what concerns have been raised etc. There will be safeguarding plans in place for the children who need them. They would absolutely know if OP’s child was not allowed contact with her grandfather and would not have brought her anywhere near him if that were the case.

Welcome to the world of education! It’s a blast!!

My misunderstanding about where Grandad went had been clarified - thanks.
No. He should not have had contact with any child. As pp have said, they're in breach of S&CP laws.

They gave him access to a young child without the proper checks. Not okay.

Public events are nothing to do with this scenario.

Nowhere in the OP does it say he "got past the reception area". It says an adult retrieved OP's DD from the classroom, so she was presumably brought out to Reception to meet Grandad. However, even if he had entered the school that would not be an issue as long as he was supervised by a member of school staff at all times. Grandparents come into school for events all the time, as long as there are staff present and they're not just wandering the school unsupervised it's perfectly fine.

Absolutely this.

I agree OP.

I know a child who would have welcomed a close family member and loved to see him, so to all intents and purposes it would have looked like a loving a close bond.
In actual fact the relative was an abuser and had groomed other children in certain settings and the family of the child had gone no contact.

If FIL was not on the approved list he should not have been allowed any contact with the child unless with someone who was on the list.

Worst, worst case scenario - a member of the school staff with safeguarding training just watched a sex offender rub his hands over a young child.

Is that ok, just because they watched him? No, of course not.

This👆