AIBU to raise concerns after school let father-in-law apply suncream when not an approved collector?

I agree with you OP
What if Grandad has a history and isn't allowed around the child unsupervised? The school don't know that!
Just coz the child knew him as Grandpa means nothing and in other cases too, not just Grandpa... Whoever comes to drop off something for a child, you don't know anything about that person and their role in the child's life so I wouldn't like to assume that person is safe to put suncream on a child without knowing their history.

I think some could be reading this as:

Op forgot suncream
Op asked FIL to deal with suncream at school
FIL dealt with suncream at school
FIL is a trusted member of the family
But regardless OP is angry with the school
Seems very unreasonable

But I think the situation is more:

Op forgot suncream
Op asked FIL to drop off suncream at school
School asked unknown man (to them) to rub suncream on child
It so happens that FIL is a trusted member of the family - so no big problem in this instance
But that is more about luck than process, and so the situation might have exposed a loophole that could have significantly worse consequences - e.g for another child
OP has flagged this to the school to allow them to close the loophole
Seems reasonable

He wasn’t on the approved collectors list and he… didn’t… collect the child?!!

My god it’s a bad day to work at a school on mumsnet today 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

But the school didn't know.

I think it was fine to send in FIL as he posed zero risk and OP knew that. I just don't think OP should worry about any of it.

I don't think OP has over reacted. It's right that the school realises it's safeguarding proceedures don't quite work. It's not like she's gone in all guns blazing.

The Grandpa could be someone the child knows and likes but OP wouldn't dream of leaving alone with the child, for all the school knows.

I get that there are untrustworthy people out there but really? Your FIL has done you a favour and you’re worried they’ll let some random person into school to start slathering children in lotion. I’m sure your child would have held a conversation with her grandfather and said something if it was a random man they’d never seen before.

No I still disagree in part on this. I agree that the OP shouldn’t have sent someone who was not on the approved list to drop an open item to be passed to the child, and therefore this situation should never have happened in the first place. but I also do think the reception team shouldn’t have granted access to an (in their eyes) ‘unknown’ individual.

ultimately, if a situation like this causes the school to review their safeguarding then that’s a positive thing. Because nothing happened this time and everything was fine but small slip ups like this are the ones that go unnoticed until something happens.

I think people are missing the point! I get what the concern is - it’s not whether you trust your FIL, it’s that the nursery has allowed someone not on the list or who they are familiar with, to walk in and start applying cream to a child. He could have been anyone and seemingly, they didn’t question that. You are right to have said something - they probably need to reassess that particular protocol or ensure all staff are trained in this.

The only process that broke down was OP's sun cream one. She could flag that to herself if she was really worried or just not worry about anything quite so low risk.

My main question is why does any adult need to apply it though? They’re capable of doing it themselves. We infantilise children for far too long. My 4yo is perfectly able to apply suncream to himself. He look at me as if I’d grown two heads if I attempted to do it for him.

Another thread, of help me out and I'll slap you off online to a load of strangers.

Men and teachers just cant win.

i suppose in the context of this, it’s not an issue per se. It’s more about if this is happening, are they equally as relaxed at letting kids get picked up by adults not on the ‘approved’ list? In this situation, entirely innocent. But another situation, perhaps not. I see where you’re coming from but I do agree with the OP and I would also flag it with the school so they can sense check their processes, not to get anyone in trouble

It isn't a 'huge' safeguarding issue. A child isn't really at risk in a school reception area with loads of adults wandering around. What could actually happen? Some suncream goes on her eye if FIL is a bit clumsy?

I also agree. It’s a huge safeguarding issue and yes on this occasion nothing happened but these protocols are in place for a reason.

Dealing with this nonsense like this takes away from them, energy and resources to deal with actual teaching and learning.

If there are family members who are NOT allowed contact with a pupil schools should be informed. Did the cream have your child's name on it, OP? If not that might be why the school wouldn't just take the cream and pass it on. The other solution might have been to ring you and check that all was above board.
Of course the very best thing would have been that you remembered to send the cream with your child or failing that asked someone on the list to deliver it. You could even gave taken the cream in yourself.

Schools really don't have time to deal with all this nonsense

I suspect it’s provided them with a teachable moment, dura lex, sed lex. If the rule is that only sunscreen placed in a child’s bag at the start of the day can be used, they should adhere to that. They shouldn’t allow any Tom, dick or Harriet rock up to the school and apply sunscreen. You were wrong not to put sunscreen into the bag, you were wrong to send a person to rectify the situation, they were wrong to allow that person to apply it.

Personally, I’d be pleased they’d applied a little flexibility, my greater concern would have been making sure my child’s skin was protected. I’m not you.

So you ask him to do something, the school let him do it, and the school are out of order. OK.

As you've said, the two work in conjunction.

My God, schools just really can’t win.

She is 17 with a 38 inch chest

Joking.

I hope

Let him apply sun cream and next thing he’ll be an obsessive nappy changer for your younger kids.

The outcome might be further training for office staff in safeguarding but will probably result in them refusing to have dealings with anyone who is not on their approved collectors list. They're going to stop taking receipt of suncream, water bottles, PE kit, forgotten homework etc

That doesn't mean the grandpa is a safe persom though.
Obviously in op's case he is a trusted family member but just because someone is family doesn't automatically make them trustworthy.

I agree with you @Tryingtohelp12
What's the point of the approved collector list if they're going to allow anyone to physically rub suncream on a child?!

I wouldn't want anyone to get in trouble but perhaps admin staff need some extra training.