AIBU to raise concerns after school let father-in-law apply suncream when not an approved collector?

So you've implied to the school that FIL is a perv who can't be trusted to apply cream to his own grandchild? Does FIL know this? That's him helping you ever again down the shitter.

In this case though surely the OP has broken the rules herself by sending in a person not on the approved list.

OP knew that the school would let him in, that theyd know which child he is there for, without being on the list.

The approved list is for collection, not suncream.

I hope the school send a message home asking parents to avoid sending in forgotten stuff or at least think through the consequences when they decide that they are too busy to run their own errands. The whole issue has been created by an entitled parent. If she had delivered it herself there would not have been a problem.

You asked him to go into the school, if you didn’t inform the office he would be doing so then that’s on you. It’s strange you asked FIL to do something and now you’re blaming the school for allowing him to do it? Your logic doesn’t make sense whether he just dropped off an open bottle of sun cream or applied it. It any unknown adult is doing anything on your behalf you must always tell the school first. With a ‘password’. Then you’ll be sure the correct adult is doing you the favour.

@mylifeisexams
It is a shame that it only became concerned about this AFTER she sent the FIL into school. She knows he is not authorised so why send him. Presumably the OP imagined that it would be taken into school by one errand runner and then at school, another errand runner paid for by the school would deliver it in the way she imagined in her head. Two favours, two errands. No problem if she had done it herself but asking some one not cleared to take it in was a better solution than doing it herself. It is so entitled. I wonder if these entitled people think that all institutions employ errand runners. Hospitals etc.

I agree with some of the comments that surely your child would say if he is or isnt Grandpa.
BUT, on the whole I agree with you, these rules are there for a reason and if hes not on the approved list then hes not approved.
These rules are in place to stop bad things from happening.

People aren’t reading the thread. The OP doesn’t mind that her FIL applied the sun cream. She trusts him. She’s just concerned that the school allowed someone who is to them, an unauthorised adult, to do it.

Jesus the lack of critical thinking on this thread is depressing.

Yes.

But the options in life aren't 'we allow anyone known to the child who turns up at the school unannounced with a bottle of suncream to rub it into them' OR 'the child must be sunburnt'.

Lets not be silly.

There was the option to let the child apply suncream themselves. Or call the parents. Or keep the child inside at playtime. Or have a checked and authorised member of staff assist with suncream application.

Your poor father in law! Hopefully he won’t read about this when it’s inevitably snapped up by the Daily Fail!

Why didn’t the school let the sun cream just be dropped off though? That’s what I’d be checking. Was it not named? Would a quick phone call from you to say he was bringing it in and on his way and could it be given to the child, have made a difference?

@BaffledOwl. Name the role of errand runner. It doesn’t exist as much as you might like it to. Admit that all of this issue would be erased if the parent had done the right thing and taken in the sunscreen. Most of the time a message will be attached to the register asking for the child to go to the office and collect said item. But it’s more fun to send other people on errands like this. The errand runner. Lots of MN posters are looking for little jobs in schools. Sadly, it doesn’t exist.

I agree if the school wouldn’t have explicitly know who FIL was he could have been anyone. Whilst your child might have spoken up if they are nervous or worried they might not, this shouldn’t be used as a tool to keep
them safe. Plus if everyone was allowed to apply their own suncream your child should have too. They should have phoned someone with parental responsibility to check that the person was who they said they were. You read so much in the news where a mistake by an adult in a responsible position has devastating consequences. You were right to raise it.

So your fil horrible crime is caring about your child? Jesus woman are you insane 😂😂😂

Course they wouldn’t have let him take your child out of school without your knowledge. They would have rang you

as they go to school they would have said your grandad is here. So it’s not a stranger to your child

And sure your dc if anything like mine would have ran and hugged my dad. Aka grandad so bene obvious

I doubt he took the child into the toilet alone and rubbed. More likely did in the space by office so in view

I think you are making a huge deal about this over nothing

Name the role in a school of the person who it is to check visitors are appropriately vetted. Name the role in a school of the person who is responsible for safeguarding.

Those roles exist because they are important and it failed in this case.

You've clearly got a bee in your bonnet about errands. In an ideal world, OP (or her partner) would have ensured the suncream was with her child, that didn't happen, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable for school to do what they did.

We’ve lost all common sense in this country.

Yes we can all be clever and see how “theoretically” a non-approved adult applying sun cream could be a safeguarding issue. But common sense would allow staff to pick up on context, as others have mentioned - things like the child recognising and being comfortable around their grandparent - to make a sensible decision I.e.: preventing sunburn is a better choice than preventing a near zero likelihood incident of molestation.

Even further lacking in common sense is your decision to complain OP, when the school accommodated your FIL correcting your mistake. You forgot the sun cream, you should just be happy it got to your child and was safely applied by someone who poses no risk to them.

People who point out “safeguarding” issues in this sort of scenario are typically the sorts of middle class people who like to demonstrate their cleverness via hypothetical scenarios rather than dealing with the situation as it actually presents itself.

Name the role in a school of errand runner.It doesn't exist. It will fall to an attendance officer or admin person who has loads to do. Takes away money from all the schools struggling with financial issues but someone has got to do it for the entitled ones.

Mum didn’t need to take the suncream in an apply it. No adult was required to apply suncream to a child who had been applying their own suncream all week.

And forgotten items being dropped off is a daily event in schools all over the place every day. It’s a non-issue.

but do enjoy your needless having a go at the OP.

Oh for goodness sake.

Children had been applying their own suncream lotion all week.

Don't you think it's even the slightest bit off that instead of letting a child put their own cream on, they pulled the child from whatever they were doing so a man who the school didn't know (and they weren't aware the parents had sent him in) could apply it to the child?

There’s zero need for the OP to ring the school, creating a call for a staff member to answer, before someone dropped off a forgotten item.

Forgotten items are a daily thing in schools. Zero need to create another job for someone answering an unneeded phone call.

This should have been an absolute non-event. It will have been a non-event in many, many schools last week.

@JustAnotherWhinger
Please tell me the role of the member of staff appointed to run errands for parents? Twenty years ago every child in a secondary school gave up a day or half a day of lessons once a year to run errands like this delivering forgotten stuff. Then, quite rightly, this was stopped because it took children away from lessons. So, some poor attendance officer or other admin person has to do the errand running. It all takes time and money. But you suggest, it is the job of the school to pay for an errand runner.
If the OP, for five minutes, had thought through the issue she would have seen the problem but she off loaded her responsibility to someone else. Easy to do. Offload stuff to others. Poor school, poor FIL.
If the OP had done the right thing and delivered the sunscreen herself it would never have happened. No issue. Mum could have taken in the sunscreen and applied it. However, some people always offload stuff to others. Easy and lazy way out.

Outrageous behaviour from the school. They should have let your child burn to a crisp in the heatwave. Schools and teachers literally lose whatever decision they make these days.

Honestly - please read properly. She isn’t accusing the grandad of anything!

im actually with the OP on this one. I don’t think the school should have allowed this. It could have been a family member who isn’t allowed contact with the child for whatever reason but the child isn’t aware or doesn’t understand.

This.

My question to the school if I felt like I had to make an issue somewhere is why they didn’t allow him to drop it off if they had relaxed rules this week to allow children to take sun cream in and apply it.

Then the OP should have done the right thing and rung the school beforehand. Not sent her FIL at her request then complain. My feelings are with the FIL and the admin team for being sent to do ‘errands’ for the OP.