Are we less tolerant to noise? Neighbourhoods have always been noisy

Children could always be noisy, but I have neighbours whose daughters scream like crabs being boiled when they're out playing. That wouldn't have been tolerated by parents when I was growing up.

I don’t think people would have made the same choices, because we were raised to be quiet in public. If you were out, on a bus or in a waiting room or somewhere, you were taught to “keep your voice down”. If you were talking loudly enough for people to overhear, you were “drawing attention to yourself” which was considered extremely rude. Even as young children, having fun in the garden or at the park, we’d be told to “Stop screeching” if we laughed too loudly!

I’m not suggesting we should go back to the days of “Children should be seen, but not heard”, but children should be taught that their volume shouldn’t negatively impact others, or they’ll grow into adults who still don’t seem to understand this basic social decency.

The loudest complainers are those who feel entitled to silence. My neighbours were playing music in their garden last weekend and instead of demanding silence, we asked them to turn it up so we could enjoy it too.

We have had a BBQ with friends so we let our neighbours know and asked them to send us a message if we were too loud at all. No one complained and we were told to have a good time.

As long as it’s not antisocial (loud swearing, shouting, screaming, revving, etc.), I don’t mind hearing noise from our neighbours. When our kids are outside, we don’t expect them to be silent but they’re not allowed to shout or scream. We tell them to stop or they have to come inside.

Not really, no. We had a great childhood.

Yes, I grew up in a multiple family house, and we kids were NOT noisy, and any adult in the house could tell us off, and we used to play out. Kids were brought up to behave politely and that was called ‘ being well brought up’ !

People use power tools a lot more nowadays. They use their gardens as an extension of their living rooms (and bathrooms). They tear up shrubbery and fell trees to make way for plastic pergolas and decking so the noise echos more.

Sounds pretty miserable.

Maybe I'm lucky but the kids I hear from my house just sound happy.

kids are kept at home whereas they used to go out to play with their mates at the park/over the fields/in the street on a building site, on a railway line...

The hum of my own microwave was annoying me earlier. I'm a lost cause and should probably head off to the mountains with a tent 😂.

Loss of shame and lack of conformity.

In ye olden days, you'd be shamed for bad behaviour but now, it's celebrated. Everyone feels that they have the right to do what they want and blow everyone else.

If you try to uphold standards now, you're deemed stuck-up or 'up your own arse.'

Gardens are smaller than they used to be, kids are kept at home whereas they used to go out to play with their mates at the park/over the fields/in the street, fewer power tools (just a lawnmower for most), fewer options for playing music in the garden, no hot tubs or bouncy castles or trampolines.

Re the music, I do remember one neighbour who threw open his French doors to his music room on sunny weekend days and play the most amazing classical music. It was a joy as he was very good. When I was practicing my instruments my parents made me keep the windows shut! 😂

Yes, and in our house we were told to be quite also in the garden. Even the dog was told off.
We made much less noise than smaller families around here nowadays.

People used to live multiple families in one house, and 6 kids in a terraced house! Homes are way bigger per person now.

Kids are far louder now. Years ago they’d be in trouble and wouldn’t do it. No way you’d get a ball being kicked against a fence non stop without something being said to them.

Because life is generally busier, louder and more busy, the "bandwidth" for the human nervous system is much less. Noise heard after a generally relaxed day is much better tolerated than if you've been working and doing childcare full time, all day, week, and month, for years.

I’ve just been subjected to a conversation on speakerphone by a man who was in the surgery waiting room. He could at least have gone outside.

We have a new build. The garden is bigger than the house. There are six houses in our cul de sac. There are nine dogs in five houses. They bark. It’s getting very wearing.

I was 8 30 years ago. I remember 20/25 kids in next doors garden, in the paddling pool, doing talent concerts. I wouldn’t say we were quiet
But that wasn't every day of the summer holidays from 7am.

My father would knock round the neighbours to warn them of an upcoming (and rare) BBQ or party. They would do the same.

My neighbour threatened the last neighbour who asked him to keep it down a bit with a crow bar and screamed in broken English. It is constant drum and bass, garden fires, weed smoke and loud parties. We have multiple twats on the road who seem oblivious to their competing (shit) music.

Aboslutely delightful in this heatwave with the windows open, as you can imagine.

We have nearly amassed enough to get out of here and escape to a detatched country property in the north, thank fuck. There are a lot of neighbours though who are really decent people, and who are unfortunately trapped here and can't afford to uproot their lives and move.

And why not?

because other people are happily judgemental to their standards
older people are happy to take help and then complain your kids make a squeak

people have continuously voted to make sure each generation keeps paying more and more for less and less

a give and take world means we all give and take

kids and pets and workers are trapped in their homes and trapped intelligent mammals freak out

dogs bark
kids scream
adults drink and play music

travel a bit

many places are noisier but people don’t care as much because they aren’t all hung up on some fucking archaic snobbery class system that the UK is

they just live

it’s noisy and messy life

When I was a kid we never played in the yard, we were in the parks, roaming the streets and playing on building sites, we bothered no one.

Massive change in behaviour towards individualism rather than community minded.

Many people don’t give a shit about others as long as they’re enjoying their own life

Houses are smaller, gardens are smaller giving you even more neighbours on your boundaries.

We lost community in the sense of knowing your neighbours children are not allowed to play out anymore because well lost community so it doesn’t feel safe.

Also children don’t get told of for screaming and shrieking play isn’t silent but there is no need for the sheer volume that comes out.

People liked to hear the children play because it was their children all playing together and someone’s grandchildren when they where visiting and you knew where they where by the bikes or by which family had what became the communal pool up. Which parent happened to be serving the best (crap) dinner would have a whole gaggle round that night. But they knew which house you belonged to and your family knew where to find you.

Adults wouldn’t be getting pissed in front of the children and they wouldn’t be smoking weed stinking out their neighbours. There was respect because it was your village it also meant the children behaved better as they knew damn well betty across the road would come tell your parents and you’d get told off.

It was your village.

Already mentioned but new build houses with tiny gardens definitely don't help

People are less considerate and have more devices that make noise.

My grandparents had hand operated mower and hedge shears. They did not have any music in the garden.
i clearly remember when I was about 6-8 years old getting there and being told to be very quiet as the man next door had died.