Scared for my mum - breast clinic appointment

Thank God. I am so relieved for you all.

So pleased that it's a good outcome.

So pleased - what great news

Amazing news, so pleased to read this!

Excellent news ♥️

Well .....there we are. We'll agree to differ.

I would also say - my preference was not to have anyone attend appointments with me. I went to every appointment alone through the whole of treatment.

But this wasn’t through finding it particularly easy or stoicism. I just wanted time to process on my own without taking into account someone else’s reaction and to be able to speak freely to my consultant.

So I would say check what your mum actually wants in this regard OP.

I also think it affects people differently even if their cancer is similar. I found the diagnosis process hard and scary. Not really because I thought I would die but because of the difficulty of managing treatment as a single parent with little support and worry about the long term affects of treatment. It turned out to all be easier than I thought and my prognosis was better but it’s easy to forget how awful it was initially.

Me too!! Was always scoffing at people complaining about the heat, now I’m the one moaning the loudest 😂

@colourdream I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m an 18 year breast cancer survivor and when waiting for results I had all sorts of aches and pains in other parts of my body that turned out to be nothing sinister. The one day appointments are much better because people are told on the day (although not staging/grading). Breast Cancer Now have a helpline and forum if it does turn out to be cancer - 9 out of 10 lumps are benign. 💐

Good point. It was manageable for me. Others I met through the process found it harder. And indeed had it harder. And as I sit here sweating buckets in my chemically induced menopause maybe I’m not giving it due credit for being the bastard that it is.

while I agree with everything in your post you must recognise that others don’t share it.
I sailed through the whole thing relatively unscathed and like you I didn’t feel I needed anyone there with me most of the time.
But others do. It’s a terrifying experience.
also agree whole heartedly that BC is one of the most, if not the most, supported cancers you can get.
I felt a little bit of a fraud compared to others I know who have sadly experienced other cancers.
Everyones journey is their own to handle in their own way

Honestly? I had breast cancer last year. Surgery, chemo and radiotherapy. All quite manageable. Also felt I got a disproportionate amount of support compared to many other conditions.

Hope today goes well for your DM. I’m glad she has support with her. Although I wasn’t formally diagnosed at the initial breast clinic appointment, it was made pretty clear to me it was likely to be cancer.

FWIW, I went alone to my clinic appointment and indeed most of the others (unless I was getting a lift) as DH was working and looking after our DS. I used to get quite irritated by people bringing a cast of thousands to appointments, taking up seats in the waiting areas and sort of dominating the space. Also made me feel more alone (and ruined my peace when I was trying to read/do a crossword etc while waiting!)

She should be told by the end of the appointment. It is like a one stop shop mamagram and ultrasound they look at the results straight away. If cancer is suspected they will take a biopsy there and then but will have results in a week. I was told on the day that it was probably was cancer. That was in 2011 and have been fine since after treatment.

@colourdream wishing luck for your DM today.

As mentioned above, cancer is completely normal - 50% of us will have it at some point. She also doesn't need 3 people going with her!
If there is an unwelcome diagnosis, then all the systems will crank into gear and it is just a question of slogging through the process. A friend of mine recently had breast cancer and coped with it by a combination of black humour and a stiff upper lip.... not easy, especially as she had other major and difficult life events going on simultaneously.
I see the job of family and friends to be to listen, but also not to make everything about the person's diagnosis - still have fun, in other words. Resilience is the key.

Hope everything goes well today OP and that you receive reassuring news very soon x

So sorry you're having to worry about this, OP, and sending best wishes to you and your lovely mum. I don't know if this will help, but I have fully imagined or magnified all sorts of pain in the past when worrying about stuff. It's a real phenomenon. I don't want to sound dismissive, in case it turns out not to be the news you're hoping for, but worrying about where exactly the pain is coming from is the kind of thing that happens when I have lost my perspective through anxiety but don't realise it. The pain disappears once I'm reassured and no longer concentrating on the area. This might possibly be the case for your mum? I have had various lumps and breast pain before, all good. It is so common and keep in mind that the reassuring NHS figures about the large proportion of people who have a breast cancer scare but come away without a diagnosis are likely conservative, because there will be lots of people who find a lump, wait a week before seeing a GP, and then find it's totally disappeared. So the odds may be even better.

Disclaimer: I am not at all suggesting people shouldn't go to the GP as soon as they find a lump - of course they should.

If that is normal behaviour for the OP, then she needs help.

For you. Its not normal for you. It obviously IS normal for @colourdream. And she's not you.

Of course it is normal, normal covers a vast range of reactions to any threat to those we love & care about.

Worried yes, terrified, not sleeping, getting worked up, no sorry, that isn't normal.

Why is it not normal to be worried about your Mums health?

I'm sorry, this reaction isn't normal.

Do you suffer from anxiety, depression??

Please let us know how she gets on.