Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

Ive been away from this thread for a few days myself and just catching up. OP sounds like an absolutely unhinged snob. Bikini banning, ICO, LinkedIn stalking, squarking voices, pink hair, ..... it's just all so farcical. I'm imagining Margot from The Good Life or Alan Bennett's Lady of Letters. Either that or she's going for Legendary Thread status.

Must be a hoax thread. Nobody is actually this ridiculous

more people see you on the beach...................

Giving the vibe of Baby Reindeer!

I find it hard to understand why Op is so entrenched in the idea that she is being reasonable and right, when she is clearly having problems.
Is her h similar or does he let her ramble on just to keep the peace and what about her kids living with this strange obsessive behaviour?

OP you are sliding into stalking behaviour. Please stop monitoring your neighbours or this could go very badly for you. If nothing else, think about what an ugly dispute with your neighbours will mean for you if you ever want to sell your house. You'll have to declare it and that makes a house virtually unsellable. The fact that you are even considering contacting someone's employer to torpedo his career is deeply concerning. I am actually worried for your mental health. This is starting to sound like an obsessive disorder. Or a Netflix true-crime documentary.

(Lightheartedly) Some of us are in our 50s but still understand that having fun with mates in the garden is perfectly normal. We even wear bikinis despite being geriatric 😆

Oh dear God those poor neighbours! If you came near me with your shitty demands and vile attitude I would laugh you off my property and then go out of my way to use my garden as much as possible and make as much noise just under the limit of legally acceptable as I could. Your time would be best spent getting some therapy for yourself or better yet move. Far far away from other humans.

OP I wouldn't recommend going over there with "ground rules". You can see the most people on this thread think you're being OTT and they will do the same and dismiss you. Perhaps just ask that they please keep their voices low as you have young children in the garden but understand that you can't really expect them to listen. If they think you're being a nice neighbour then they're more likely to respond in kind.

I can only imagine my husband’s face if anyone popped over to talk about garden rules 😂

Hard agree.

I do think some people, often women, struggle with jealousy and it manifests itself as spite.

i think that’s what we are seeing here. This is clearly about the female neighbour who the op perceives to be attractive, more attractive than her, and who clearly has friends and seems fun, and it’s made the op venomous.

This thread has to be a joke Mrs Bucket ( bouquet )

Quite honestly OP, you sound absolutely vile. What a nasty bitchy person you are.

JFC

What's wrong with pink hair?
Trampolines aren't antisocial, they are a great way for kids to get regular exercise and to make friends.
Are you peeved that your neighbours have a good friendship group and a better social life than you?

You don't sound like a very happy person if the only way you can elevate yourself is by making derogatory remarks about other people.

I thought I could be bitchy but OP takes the gold standard for the comment about botox and inplants. You really are the gift that keeps on giving, although I don't believe a word you've said OP it's amusing to play along with the bat shittery.
OP needs an inplant - of a decent personality because to my mind something I might stand in on a hot day on the pavement has more class.
I wonder if h is as mad as her?

I agree with all this.
OP, your fixation on this neighbour is not normal.

What has happened to you in the past op? Your bitterness and resentment is so palpable. How do you know if she has had botox have you ever had a conversation with her and seen her up close?!

If I were you I'd forget the neighbours and maybe try some counselling to find the cause of all this judging and anxiety. Were you overlooked a lot as a child perhaps?

Yup jealous, you’re paying close attention to her face and body, and you immediately start with will your husband fancy her.

jealous and insecure.

So now you're commenting on people's appearance. My snob bingo card is nearly full, can you please add the word that starts with C and rhymes with 'have' so I can call House!?

What a vile person you are. If your husband came round to me to me tryng to impose ground rules I would tell him to Fuck off and stop being a busybody.

You are a spiteful jealous woman with too much time on your hands, how dare you discuss a woman wearing a bikini in her own space. You do not get to dictate.

You are the type of woman who only gets on with people who agree with you. Go on try and impose your rules and see what happens. At best you will be laughed at, but worse you cause bad feeling with the neibours. You cannot impose your petty silly ways on other people.

Thank God I don't live next door to you. Don't be the silly cow next door.

You sound deeply unpleasant,OP

Your neighbours can wear and do what they want within the confines of the law - it’s their private property.

But they genuinely don’t appreciate how irritating their behaviour is to others around them.

Next time he’s in the garden on a teams call, play some music. Not too loud. Just enough to disrupt his concentration. He will get the message quickly.