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Original poster

Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

633 replies

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 07:19

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

OP posts:
Floralibra · 26/06/2026 10:45

I’m om the fence with this one ( no pun intended).

everyone is allowed to be in their garden and sadly new builds are what they are with regards to close proximity which you knew when you bought the house?

however, those crude conversationz shouldn’t really be in had loudly in the garden when you know you’ve got children next door. It’s like when I’m out and about and see children I don’t like to swear infront of them.

what I’d suggest is when you’re hearing those conversations is to just play some loud music in the garden to drown it out. If they then complain (I expect they might) you can say that you needed to to do something so your children could he in the garden without hearing ‘x y and z’.

hueylouieanddewey · 26/06/2026 10:45

Sorry OP you cant do this! I am very sympathetic tho, this is exactly why we moved from our last house (also new build so lots of gardens abutting each other, no trees or hedges to absorb sound). There were 6 gardens all kind of joined onto each other in our bit. Everyone bar our NDNs was considerate, you could hear kids playing, people talking and having bbqs, music on low, all fine.

Apart from our NDN. As soon as the weather got nice they would move their entire life outdoors. Work calls, personal calls, arguments, music at a volume that meant noone else could hear their own music, their kid playing ball games against the fence for hours on end etc etc. Nothing you could really class as ASBO behaviour or complain about, just very selfish and inconsiderate of everyone else trying to use their gardens. Most evenings everyone else just went indoors as it was so unenjoyable, we barely used our garden the last few summers.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/06/2026 10:40

Waitingfordoggo · 26/06/2026 08:59

This is prancing. Just imagine it in a bikini- the horror!

Ahhh ok 😁

I’m officially bikini-ing wrong.

Fizzybluewater · 26/06/2026 10:39

AbsoluteHoot · 26/06/2026 07:28

Of course the women had to be ‘prancing’ in their skimpy bikinis. As soon as I put on a bikini, I immediately start prancing.

If this is not a wind-up, you’re being utterly beyond ridiculous. But please suggest your rota idea to the neighbours so they can tell you to fuck off.

Joking aside OP sounds upset and stressed out about it but she really needs to unclench.
Her brain is so locked onto these incidents she's going to send herself into a downward tail spin.
The problem is that if you are quiet and have certains ideas about things, any thing that deviates from your normal will be more jarring. If her kid doesn't run around the garden screaming and yelling, suggesting he starts to isn't going to happen becuaue OP won't allow it.
Most people aren't going to be interested in their neighbours conversation in the garden, there is no need to be judgy about what others are drinking, unless OP is pouring the drinks how does she know what they are drinking?
I'd be more annoyed if they were swigging lager and lopping the cans over the fence. They seem okay as neighbours, not to OP's taste but then everyone is different.

MrSchubertWhiskers · 26/06/2026 10:35

Obviously you can't ask them this, no. Nothing to stop you and your children remarking loudly to yourselves about things they've overheard however. Or striking up a casual conversation next time you pass on the drive,

"Tom did you get that crisis sorted out about the contracts? Sounded like a nightmare!"

"Amy, your friend is SO funny- when she told how her date did xyz I nearly wet myself laughing"

If they protest..."oh sorry, can't help but overhear when we're all out in our gardens in this heat!"

SwatTheTwit · 26/06/2026 10:35

How close are these gardens that you think the vape will reach your kids

PepsiBook · 26/06/2026 10:34

A rota for them to use their own garden?
You're hilarious 😆
The women are prancing... Or just wearing a a bikini. Says more about you than it does them. Why ever should they not wear a bikini?
And you have no idea what the person driving was drinking. Could have been non alcoholic beer.

Batshitdoesntfallfarfromthetree · 26/06/2026 10:33

oh my word so much to unpack here but think others have said it all. Stick some music on in your garden and go enjoy it and let your kids enjoy it too. Focus on yourself and your family

crispychips · 26/06/2026 10:32

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IAMFLUFF · 26/06/2026 10:31

It’s 3 days. It will rain next week.
When he’s on a work call get the kids screaming and shouting and kicking a ball against the fence

SingtotheCat · 26/06/2026 10:30

Get out in your garden and make your own noise.

MyOliveStork · 26/06/2026 10:29

Other option is to be equally annoying and have your kids play outside VERY NOISILY all the time, play music YOU enjoy and treat the garden as freely as they treat theirs.

MyOliveStork · 26/06/2026 10:27

Time for you to move house.
Your home obviously does not suit you.
New builds are what they are….

Gibstub · 26/06/2026 10:25

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 07:19

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

What!!!!! Move somewhere isolated.

Wingingit73 · 26/06/2026 10:25

Yabu

Tillow4ever · 26/06/2026 10:25

Definitely unreasonable and possibly not even a reliable narrator about the level of noise etc given how intolerant you are.

vaping - I’m not a fan myself, but is the vape really coming into your garden and your kids inhaling it? Or do you just think they can inhale the fumes from the other garden?

They can wear what they like or even nothing at all in their own garden. And if they want to “prance” (or walk, dance, twerk, star jump, run, etc.) they are allowed to.

They are allowed friends around. They are allowed a bbq. They are allowed to talk and laugh together - only til 9pm is extremely reasonable of them.

If he wants to sit outside to work he can do. It wouldn’t be unreasonable of you to let him know you can hear him talking about work as he might not realise how loud he is - especially if there is anything confidential.

Just use your garden. If you sit and eat dinner, chat together and you won’t hear him. Obviously if you sit in silence, anything he does over there is going to be heard by you.

Blackcatahotcat · 26/06/2026 10:25

Get a grip. You’re the pain not them

Fizzybluewater · 26/06/2026 10:24

Mirandawrongs · 26/06/2026 07:29

Please say something to them and post their response.

you are asking people to not enjoy their gardens so you can enjoy yours?
you are unreasonable in the following ways
Bikini is their garden is fine, it’s their private space.
vaping in their garden, although not pleasant, is legal and allowed.
9pm is not late, they legally can be later.
you actually don’t know what their guests were drinking.

op, you seem to be far too invested in others lives.
teach your children to accept that others live their lives differently to you.

Sometimes we just have to get on with our own lives, stop judging, accept some people are morons and others are okay and more our tribe.
Stop watching your neighbours it's annoying at least and at worst creepy to be on the receiving end of it.
My elderly neighbour used to do this and has since died [not lonely always had visitors but just bloody nosy and was known for it locally] I'm not sorry he's gone it, just means I'm not facing constant interrogation every time I step out the door.
He was like a spider in a web and we were the flies. Snoopy and sneaky neighbours are horrible.
Is there a bit of jealousy with the bikini comment? Ignore them and get on with your life.

LeaderBee · 26/06/2026 10:20

Are you the same poster that was asking if they were being unreasonable to ask the neighbour to bring in their sexy lingerie from the washing line? Don't be daft OP.

BennyHenny · 26/06/2026 10:19

Unclench OP 🤣

Anonyanonay · 26/06/2026 10:17

I’d warn the other neighbours then put on the radio loudly, at least when he’s working outside. Fight fire with fire.

crispychips · 26/06/2026 10:16

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crispychips · 26/06/2026 10:16

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BestieBunch · 26/06/2026 10:15

Seriously??? You live in new build close gardens etc, then this is to be expected.
Let your children play in the garden, whack some music on for them to drown out next doors conversation - maybe next door might realise how loud they’re being?

Womanofcustard · 26/06/2026 10:15

To all those suggesting that people should move to the middle of nowhere if they don’t like neighbour noise - get real!
I actually live in the middle of nowhere. About 15 years since there was a property sale in the area!
We need German-style by-laws as people seem to no longer be able to control themselves and behave reasonably.