Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

Mumsnet makes me so thankful for my noisy and friendly neighbours..
We have noisy DC, neighbours either also have noisy DC or have gatherings and bbqs and play music and chat/laugh loudly. Everyone is happy, everyone occasionally apologises for noise and everyone says not to worry.
Far more beneficial for everyone than being grumpy at hearing others.

I feel your pain.

Just put some music on. It doesn't need to be loud, but it will stop you overhearing their conversations and vice versa.

Then you can plan your next house move to somewhere without neighbours :)

You are being rather unreasonable and a bit irrational.

You bought a house in a scheme...So literally got what you paid for.

This is why my dad bought a house with no neighbours.....Then we got some...so he planted lots and lots and lots of trees.

We can still hear the closest ones use their loo, but thats about it.

Honestly, buy a house in a field in the middle of nowhere if living in a normal society offends you so much. Don’t buy a place on top of other people if you don’t want to hear people. Society isn’t going to bend to your demands unfortunately. If you live on top of other people you’re going to hear other people. You can’t dictate when they should go in their own garden, don’t be so ridiculous.

Of course you can’t ask for this. Well
you could but I doubt your rota idea will be welcomed!

Were the women actually “prancing” or were they just wearing bikinis? What even is prancing?

They’re just using their garden like everyone is entitled to. Maybe the sound of your kids outside annoys them. How would you feel if they asked you to keep them inside because their noise spoiled their evening meal?

They are as entitled as you to enjoy their garden in the warm weather I'd laugh in my neighbours face if they suggested what you're suggesting

OP never came back.

Looking at her user name I wonder if her neighbours post on here about here angry dogs?

of course this is a wind up.

What part of what OP has described is inconsiderate behaviour? Sounds like humans using their garden as intended, to me.

If you are seriously considering this you are insane.

I disagree. I think the neighbour is being an inconsiderate (or bafflingly low self-aware) twonk. It’s important to teach kids what noise is acceptable and what could become irritating, either in volume or length of exposure, and I think a lot of neighbours are really good eggs who understand this. Those that don’t, or won’t, need it explaining to them, but if it ever gets to this point then you’re probably trying to polish a turd in the etiquette stakes. Intelligence, not wealth, is the key - it takes a certain intelligence to understand that the sustained, loud noise of your existence could be problematic, and it takes intelligence to then try to be helpful rather than aggressively entitled in your response.
OP, I don’t think you’ll get anywhere appealing to the better nature of your neighbours, but, as a PP has suggested, telling him that you can hear every detail of his meeting might be a way forward. But then it is incredibly hot - I’d wait to do this next week, if it’s still going on.

Yep I'm afraid (as previous posters have said) time for YOU to pack up and move on. Preferably to a remote location.

Wow. Sorry but I don’t think your neighbours are doing anything wrong. They are using their garden as intended and frankly I think your behaviour is weird. I vape and can confirm outside you’ve hardly got clouds of smoke bellowing down on you. Prancing about in skimpy bikinis - clearly you’re slightly obsessed and watching them from upper windows which is really weird behaviour. Do you want them to wear jumpers? It’s literally boiling.

If you want peace quiet and privacy, you choose a home which will give you that.

Now I had an actual nightmare neighbour once - would have loud raves until 3-4am on a weekend, smoking weed outside which blew into our house and then would progress to having loud animalistic sex in his bedroom which bordered my bedroom. And that was better night - other nights were fights breaking out in the house during his parties. Many sleepless nights. All during covid too. Many police visits and when he eventually moved out I decided to peep through the window to see the damage before the rental company took it back - wow. Carpets had red wine and fag burns all over it. God knows what the rest of the house looked like. Garden was fully overgrown.

YABVVU.

everyone knows that the only time grown women 'prance' is naked in female only changing rooms.

You are obviously looking down your nose at your neighbours. Lingering smells of a BBQ? What are you on about? Don’t they smell nice?? Entertaining until 9pm! 9pm!! Whatever next!

Brace yourself for tomorrow night OP - there’s an England game on. You may hear some cheering, possibly laughing.

Get the boom box out..enjoy the weather. Leave your neighbours to themselves.
It's unconscionable that you would approach them .
You could always blindfold your children and give them noise cancelling headphones.
Or move house..far far away from anyone

I once tried prancing about in my dressing gown but I fell over.

The horses?

I voted YABU op on the having designated times question as I think really that would be completely unreasonable.

I do second some of the suggestions that your DC make use of the garden and do NOT worry about any noise they make as your neighbours are being a little inconsiderate imo. But you really can’t request times they vacate. Get the kids out there enjoying the garden with water, noise and yes maybe a little music.

Do you think your DC are fully registering the sordid details and being disturbed by it or not really because again I don’t think this is a reason to bring them in.

I think YANBU to be irritated by it all though.

Neighbours can be very difficult at times, in particular in the warm weather. I am fed up of my next-door Neighbours noise too. They have a huge pool in garden and have about 8 kids and 5 adults there for 8 hrs a day. The horses are small so the noise in horrendous. Will be moving.

OP should be grateful they're not frolicking naked in the hot tub with their mates (which of course is fine on MN: they're just bodies and kids shouldn't look out of windows if they don't want to see tits and todgers on display!) like one of yesterday's nuttier posts!
The one thing I would do is mention that unfortunately you can hear every detail of the Teams meeting and you're concerned that workplace confidentiality is being breached. That might at least stop the loud work calls.

Assuming this isn't a wind up...

I'm sure your kids are perfect silent angels who never make ANY noise, right OP?

What you've described is just living in a row of houses. Nothing they're doing sounds unreasonable. Unclench.

You should have moved to an area where you could afford a more secluded property.

What is the main issue? The noise?
When one thing is difficult to live with them every other little detail that you might otherwise ignore feels magnified too. eg The comment about the bikinis seems a bit petty.

We have neighbours either side. The neighbours to one side have two children that play football in the garden and play on the trampoline. From time to time they have friends round for a BBQ and there is a normal level of noise and music. We've never ever felt like this normal level of enjoying the garden has changed our enjoyment of also being outside.

On the other side, the radio is constantly on and they shout to each other above the radio. Because it feels constant, every other little thing they do is starting to irritate too.
I'm all too aware that if we put our own music on as some have recommended on here, then our 'good' neighbours are affected.

So I do understand where you are coming from with your post.