Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

You are certifiably bonkers! 😂

Don’t. But what I would do is have a conversation in your garden with your other half about what’s that awful smell (vapes) and a conversation about how nexts doors fiend has such a life after hearing about her escapade, and a conversation about how you have heard all about his clients in teams meeting and have learnt such a lot

maybe that will make them think

The neighbour having work calls in the garden all day does sound unbearable but I guess it is his prerogative to do that. Maybe he doesn’t realise that it is disturbing you so you could mention that but the idea of scheduling times is totally bonkers unfortunately. I really feel for you though, noisy neighbours would be my worst nightmare

Yeah- floozies 🙂

It's normal life with neighbours op. How does one prance in a bikini anyway?

Just get a trampoline and have your kids screaming on it at 8am to even up the irritation levels

We had guests yesterday, 1 vaped, 4 drank alcohol, 2 in bikinis, but not prancing and a BBQ. However, we were tucked up in bed before 9pm after a 4am start, so you're not my neighbour - THANKFULLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'It's the just move house' brigade that get me. 🙄
Of course, why didn't I think of that? Might be leaving relatives, friends, kids friends, schools, more work travelling possibly.
But let's just think for a moment...I take it most of the 'move' lot can pull a few grand out of thin air for all the associated costs, moving, legal surveys etc.
Meanwhile irl most people have few savings [not always through choice] and can't move anywhere remotely naice because of the cost of property.
If you are selling your shit hole neighbourhood property for £250k and that's stretching it, how the hell are you supposed to move to the 'just move's' ideal, middle of nowhere property when it costs near £800k plus?
Some posters on here don't seem to think about the bigger picture with some of their daft advice - there is a person behind the OP who started the thread.

I think the heat is affecting your rational thinking. I think you should mind your own business. Sound like great neighbours where they wont bother you and your children. So carry on with your life and let them get on with theirs.

Please tell me this is a joke?

This is exactly what we did!

@MrSchubertWhiskers - completely. I don't get it either because this is a discussion forum. None of those statements help with dicussion, they are shut downs/pile ons and all the more pointless - as you point out - as the OP has usually signalled doubts/confusion about what the right thing to do is anyway. It's more akin to short form X/Twitter interactions.

We’ve had some pure scandalous posts on ours the last few days as well. Facebook people watching is a total guilty pleasure of mine!!

OP you can’t police how people use their gardens but you would be within your rights to have a polite word about the “sordid conversations”. Just keep it polite and light.

Of course you can’t ask this.

What are the detrimental effects you think your kids will suffer if they overhear a teams meeting? Are your kids silent in the garden then, or do you expect the neighbour to just tolerate the sound of screeching and playing in the garden on a weekday whilst he’s holed up in a furnace of a house trying to work and it’s only an issue when it’s him making noise?

100%
We can all be unreasonable sometimes, and we all get annoyed and grumble about things we can't change but would like to.

There have been a few threads like this lately, with the op acknowledging they're being unreasonable and all they get back is nastiness, when actually the replies just need to be, "yes yabu and you can't do xyz, but yes it's annoying"

I’m tired of listening to my neighbours who are in their garden all the time of with bi fold doors open. Everyone else is quite quiet and considerate. Their children also scream all the time. Alternating eating out is not a runner though. Headphones or trying to zone out are your best bet.

@MrSchubertWhiskersthere really has. I am not sure people think about how awful it must feel to hear "you are awful/crazy/pathetic/wrong" for 175th time, when you just want to work something out. The lack of empathy is really shocking sometimes.

There's been a definite increase in the number of posts from the "can't wait to kick you" crowd lately.

God, the nasty crowing on here. OP clearly knows she is being unreasonable and is reaching for solutions when really stressed out.

She asked for a sense check/help to deal with an issue that is troubling her. Yes her proposed solution is not viable or reasonable and she pretty much says she knows that, but can't people think beyond that?

What would actually help this person who is in a muddle? Support, insight, practical solutions? Certainly not the slurry of responses of the "get over it", "you're obssessed/mad/awful/stupid", or the totally simplisitic: move house, stop looking crap, none of which are remotely useful, funny or even worth reading and certainly not over and over again. If it were that easy she likely would have done that and not have to post to ask for a bit of support.

If you MUST react, just click the agree emoji when some has said it once, you don't need to pile on. But well done everyone you have chased her off (or more likely she is actually just getting on with her life, realising asking was a pretty pointless excercise today).

The blah blah you can't tell me what to post/it's a public forum responses can get in the sea too.

Omfg. If you are this pathetic why did you move into a new build? They're well known for gardens with little privacy. Go move to a property with a few acres of your own.

Just be grateful its only vapes you can smell - my neighbours like to smoke weed in theirs (right next to one of our open windows and it stinks out our house). Although it may annoy you, and they may be louder than you can wish, not much you can do to stop that. The worst thing you can do is stop using your garden yourself. So suggest you use it just as much as them, not quietly or passively, let you kids out and play and undoubtedly they'll get fed up by your noise and retreat into the house for their teams calls.

As everyone else has said, this is ridiculously unreasonable on your part. Unfortunately if you want complete silence at home, you need to move somewhere with no neighbors. You can sit your garden but are choosing not to. They sound like mostly alright neighbours, inside by 9PM and making the most of their outside space.

It's not unreasonable to dislike hearing others' noise, but it's unreasonable to complain about this 'normal living' noise at reasonable times when you have chosen to live in a house so close to others. It is completely off to ask them not to use their garden at certain times. I suppose you could let them know, in case they aren't aware, that you can hear confidential work info in case that poses a problem for them (not you) & ask them if they'd mind avoiding explicit conversations with friends when your children are outside. But expect the conversation to be a bit awkward.

It’s as simple as that, is it??

You can ask them to be quiet, but you cannot ask them not to use their garden.

Agreed