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Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

633 replies

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 07:19

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

OP posts:
Urgentbiscuitrequired · 26/06/2026 23:22

And why on earth do you think trampolines are antisocial? Did they forget to say hi to you or something? I've heard it all on here now.

Urgentbiscuitrequired · 26/06/2026 23:19

Is this thread for real? You need a week in a run down area like I grew up in. I'm sure after a week of domestics, constant cat piss weed fumes and abandoned mattresses and you'd happily take your neighbours over that.

Your expectations are way too high. The world does not universally cater to your desire for silence everywhere else apart from your own garden. You either accept normal life living amongst others or you move somewhere isolated.

MickyMoonshine · 26/06/2026 23:06

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 22:49

I don't need a huge, raucous social life that involves me pickling my liver, getting my tits out in the back garden or sucking on a tin whistle to get a hit of nicotine! I'm no longer 21 and unlike them, I don't pretend to be. Most people I know are at home with their families. I am far from jealous.

This just makes you sound bitter. And very judgmental.

Nothing wrong with a raucous social life at any age!

Fridgemanageress · 26/06/2026 23:04

How to the title “the weirdo next door” or worse

HollywoodStarr · 26/06/2026 23:00

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 07:19

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

It’ll be pissing down next week - problem solved.

UncannyFanny · 26/06/2026 22:59

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 22:49

I don't need a huge, raucous social life that involves me pickling my liver, getting my tits out in the back garden or sucking on a tin whistle to get a hit of nicotine! I'm no longer 21 and unlike them, I don't pretend to be. Most people I know are at home with their families. I am far from jealous.

Ok, how about uptight then? Yes?

minipie · 26/06/2026 22:55

I think the Teams calls in the garden is not ok - doubt the employer would be happy about that - and it means the noise is all day.

The vaping - I wouldn’t like it if it’s blowing straight at you - but it depends how close to your garden they are and how much comes over.

The social life - I can imagine it’s a bit annoying but they’re doing nothing wrong. Sorry if the conversation is inappropriate for a 9 year old but that’s not their responsibility.

The bikinis - You’re starting to sound ridiculous and puritanical.

The rota idea - batshit.

Cloudconfusion · 26/06/2026 22:50

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 22:49

I don't need a huge, raucous social life that involves me pickling my liver, getting my tits out in the back garden or sucking on a tin whistle to get a hit of nicotine! I'm no longer 21 and unlike them, I don't pretend to be. Most people I know are at home with their families. I am far from jealous.

Sadly that post made you sound even more jealous, jealous and resentful,

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 22:49

Gloriia · 26/06/2026 18:11

I think <kindly> that the op feels inadequate as her and dh don't have bbqs, friends round, nice socialable evenings and the neighbours daring to do it is subconsciously rubbing her nose in it.

So rather than accept that she feels awkward at her own poor social life she's doing this weird blame thing to allow her resentment to be channelled somehow.

Tolerance and acceptance op are your friends here or else the excess bile and vitriol will give you a peptic ulcer Flowers.

I don't need a huge, raucous social life that involves me pickling my liver, getting my tits out in the back garden or sucking on a tin whistle to get a hit of nicotine! I'm no longer 21 and unlike them, I don't pretend to be. Most people I know are at home with their families. I am far from jealous.

OP posts:
canklesmctacotits · 26/06/2026 22:32

You bought a house on a new build estate. How much peace and privacy did you think you would get?!

ForeverPombear · 26/06/2026 21:10

I'd much rather listen to someones dating history than children screaming. Screaming would give me a headache, dating history can be interesting. But, I am a nosey bugger.

MrsLFii · 26/06/2026 21:06

I’m struggling to believe this could be real. Neighbourly ground rules, for fucks sake 💀

Springsummertime · 26/06/2026 21:04

You don’t have many friends do you?

Springsummertime · 26/06/2026 21:01

You sound slightly unhinged! I’m totally lost why you would buy a new build where it’s sounds like your garden is right next to your neighbours when you’re so uptight and expect your neighbours not use their garden to appease your uptight unhinged ways!

Fizzybluewater · 26/06/2026 20:55

It just seems that OP and her neighbours are poles apart. She says she and H are similar ages to the neighbours ''in their early 30's I think'' first post but she writes and sounds like my dear old gran used to speak when she was in her 80's, 'These young women today putting themselves on display with their underwear showing" OP certainly does not come across as being in the age group she claims to be with such odd writing /thinking 🤔

WeAintNoArgentina · 26/06/2026 20:53

I don’t think you’ve a leg to stand on if your kids are playing outside.

RisingSunn · 26/06/2026 20:30

LakieLady · 26/06/2026 16:39

I'm quite bemused as to why someone who is easily bothered by normal, everyday noise bought a house on a new build estate where the houses are all crammed in to maximise the developers' profits, tbh.

There's a new estate near me where the "detached" houses are so crammed in that there's only a foot or two between the gutters of neighbouring properties.

I'm quite bemused as to why someone who is easily bothered by normal, everyday noise bought a house on a new build estate where the houses are all crammed in

Exactly - it makes no sense!

Heidi2025 · 26/06/2026 19:59

This has to be a wind up

TwoBagsOfCompost · 26/06/2026 19:53

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 16:05

There is nothing wrong with my DH proposing some ground rules that we can collectively agree on-we are all living within a few metres of each other after all! We have lived here a few years longer than the couple; they moved in last year and this is primarily a family area, almost everyone on our road has kids!

I'm sure that most people would rather hear my children in the garden as opposed to listening to dating escapades, loud bitching about their work colleagues and drunken conversations. I have purposely avoided buying a trampoline as I believe they are antisocial in estates.

I would 10000000% prefer to hear anything BUT children.

Jeschara · 26/06/2026 19:52

Another entitled neighbour, put the note through the door and confirm you are unhinged.
Your husband going round would for me be a red rag to a bull. I would tell him to clear off and take his ground rules with him. Vaping and a woman in a bikini in their own garden is none of your business. Him talking too loud is annoying but not illegal.
Leave them alone.

TwoBagsOfCompost · 26/06/2026 19:52

Guarddogdaschunds · 26/06/2026 13:48

So my hubby has given my head a bit of a wobble and told me that we cannot impose an outdoor rota and that I am being ridiculous. He does however agree that the booming voices and squarking voices are unbearable, so if they are entertaining again tonight, he will pop over and try to agree some ground rules. It is ridiculous, they are both a similar age to us and they act like teenagers!

Ground rules 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭

Newstartplease24 · 26/06/2026 19:40

The op said “propose ground rules” not “impose”. That’s important

the general tone was quite old fashioned and I get why she hasn’t won total sympathy but I would LOVE it if it were ween as reasonable to say to noisy, domineering neighbours “you can have x time; olease can I have y time for quiet”. Youre not saying go indoors, or go out; just allow your neighbours to have some quiet time. Not all quiet time: SOME quiet time

Fizzybluewater · 26/06/2026 19:35

I'm interested to hear how the convo with the neighbour went. But I don't think we'll find out some how partly because I think her h won't say anything and is only saying he will to keep Op off of his back and this thread is a funny little story that couldn't be true in a million years.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 26/06/2026 19:32

Why do you keep mentioning that you moved in before them? That’s completely irrelevant.

You seem so uptight.

Duvetdayforme · 26/06/2026 19:17

You sound completely potty.