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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to skip an evening reception for a small wedding?

82 replies

Wnahsi · 26/06/2026 07:06

AIBU not to have an evening reception wedding is summer next year ), here is what the day will look like without one, it's a smaller wedding around 45 people including children (we have two ourselves):

2:30 Arrival drinks in the bar
3pm Ceremony
3:30 - 430/530 Canapes and live music , in a rooftop room with a terrace and views overlooking the city
530 -730 Wedding breakfast (no speeches etc)
730 - 9 drinks on the terrace with live music , thinking of getting a magician either here or at the canapes ?
930pm move down to the hotel bar , people can go , stay etc. we will probably head up to our room at 10 as we have an amazing room with a hot tub with amazing views 😂.

The second option would be after the wedding breakfast we move down to a basement room (which is lovely), have a band or DJ that will finish around midnight .

OP posts:
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Hellometime · 26/06/2026 23:28

It sounds lovely Op.

PrimeSeason · 26/06/2026 21:32

God, I’d LOVE this! Go for it!

Original poster
Wnahsi · 26/06/2026 21:28

Hellometime · 26/06/2026 21:26

Yes I agree. Would be rushed. People will need to take seats. I’d say 2.30pm arrival for 3pm ceremony.
Then have drinks after.
Then dinner.
I wouldn’t do hot food later so soon after dinner. Maybe cheese and cake.

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The hot food is only if I move the start to 1pm of it's 3pm I won't bother with food later .

The arrival drink I mean more of a of people arrive early I'll have drinks for them . Than a you must arrive early for a drink

OP posts:
Original poster
Wnahsi · 26/06/2026 21:27

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 26/06/2026 21:16

DON'T get a magician. Spend the money on food or booze. Or a better DJ/band
.

I'm doing a free bar , and have found a great duo..I'm just trying to add something extra . But it's getting very mixed reviews here 🤣

OP posts:
Hellometime · 26/06/2026 21:26

MandemChickenShop · 26/06/2026 20:50

don't have drinks before the ceremony

Yes I agree. Would be rushed. People will need to take seats. I’d say 2.30pm arrival for 3pm ceremony.
Then have drinks after.
Then dinner.
I wouldn’t do hot food later so soon after dinner. Maybe cheese and cake.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 26/06/2026 21:16

DON'T get a magician. Spend the money on food or booze. Or a better DJ/band
.

MandemChickenShop · 26/06/2026 20:50

don't have drinks before the ceremony

IamEarthymama · 26/06/2026 20:05

I'm watching this thread as your day sounds perfect!!
I want to see what you eventually decide on.
🩷🌸🩷

AirborneElephant · 26/06/2026 19:54

Velvetandleather · 26/06/2026 17:47

Honestly your initial plan is the best. Finishing dinner for 7 is fine, and as you don’t start till later people can eat before hand.

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I agree, stick with the original plan. If you start at 1 and try to eat at 2.30 people will get drunk and be starving and clock checking throughout the drinks and canapés part because they won’t have eaten since breakfast. If you start at 2.30 it’s very clear people should have lunch first and they have plenty of time to do so, and food is then at a really sensible time and will fit in with all the kids schedules. A much better flow to the day.

somethingischasingme · 26/06/2026 17:58

Are you having it in hotel du vin?

Velvetandleather · 26/06/2026 17:47

Wnahsi · 26/06/2026 16:27

If we start the day 1 as suggested further on in the thread . Dinner will be done by about 430.

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Honestly your initial plan is the best. Finishing dinner for 7 is fine, and as you don’t start till later people can eat before hand.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/06/2026 17:30

If you do this, I would get the live music to play a song you can do a first dance too

TheDogsMother · 26/06/2026 17:27

This sounds perfect to me.

TheLoyalSquid · 26/06/2026 16:56

I agree with other posts here. Many weddings go on far too long and the food is often timed wrongly, so as a guest, you’re either starving or too full. So timing food correctly around your plan is important. I think a nice earlier finish is a positive, let people go before they get too weary. I was definitely ready to leave my own wedding day by 10pm, it’s quite exhausting. Also my brother had a magician at his wedding, personally I found him more of an irritating interruption as he visited each table during the meal than anything else. However my sister did have a Photo Booth that was quite fun, with wigs etc. People could then choose if they wanted to take part with that or not.

Original poster
Wnahsi · 26/06/2026 16:27

AirborneElephant · 26/06/2026 16:10

But you’re not going to be done with dinner until 7 at the earliest, and you’re planning to end the evening by 10. I’m a very long way from a competitive undereater but I can’t quite imagine people wanting more proper food that close? Could you serve the cake later with some cheese or a few snacks instead? If you’re going for an all nighter through to the early hours I can see needing pizza, but surely not for your more relaxed family friendly plan?

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If we start the day 1 as suggested further on in the thread . Dinner will be done by about 430.

OP posts:
CoverLikelyZebra · 26/06/2026 16:24

Option 1 sounds perfect to me. I'd only be tempted to option 2 if there were loads of people I love and want to include beyond the 45 coming to the main event.

AbsoluteHoot · 26/06/2026 16:21

It sounds lovely.

At the last wedding we attended, we were desperate to leave by 9pm.

Hellometime · 26/06/2026 16:19

I prefer the 3pm ceremony timing. People can have lunch, no rush getting ready. You are providing dinner. I like sound of 9pm finish. Maybe make clear that’s end of day - something like fireworks or sparklers.

MeganM3 · 26/06/2026 16:16

It’s only 45 people so it will all be quite relaxed. Not sure there’d be a lot of dancing with that number anyway, but depends on the group.
Sounds perfectly fine.
I was ready to leave my own wedding by 10:45 as it had been a really long day with an early start. I escaped at 11 out the back door.

Velvetandleather · 26/06/2026 16:16

The first plan is the best, and in my mind that is an evening reception. I’d scrub the magician though, it’s always a bit tacky and ask if anyone wants to do speeches.

AirborneElephant · 26/06/2026 16:10

Wnahsi · 26/06/2026 14:55

Yes I was going to ask the venue if they could do simple food such as bringing a load of pizzas up about 8pm . Rather than small picky bits.

Sadly I can't bring an external catering in.

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But you’re not going to be done with dinner until 7 at the earliest, and you’re planning to end the evening by 10. I’m a very long way from a competitive undereater but I can’t quite imagine people wanting more proper food that close? Could you serve the cake later with some cheese or a few snacks instead? If you’re going for an all nighter through to the early hours I can see needing pizza, but surely not for your more relaxed family friendly plan?

Bothy · 26/06/2026 15:39

Sounds perfect. Not too many people and all finished by 9pm.

TheLoyalSquid · 26/06/2026 15:35

25+ years ago we had the ceremony around 1.30pm I think, then straight onto welcome drinks & the wedding breakfast shortly afterwards at a nearby country house hotel. After that, everyone just relaxed & chatted in the hotel lounge/bar or on the beautiful terrace & gardens. A light buffet was provided later for those still there but finished around 11pm and some folk left earlier. No music or entertainment whatsoever, as I don’t do parties so wanted more of a small informal gathering. We only had around 55 guests including everyone’s partners and all our families. However most friends knew each other anyway, either from University or where we both worked so it was a good opportunity for a catch up. However my sister’s wedding was a huge affair, with a cast of thousands and more entertainment than a Royal Variety performance, but we’re very different people, she’s super sociable & a party person, so it’s different things for different people. I would go with what you like best and reflects who you both are, I don’t think there’s any wrong or right way really, it’s your day after all.

Coconutter24 · 26/06/2026 15:17

Wnahsi · 26/06/2026 08:29

Hmm I was a bit in two minds about this seems to get mixed reviews. I might look into the drawing as someone else suggested .

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Why do you need a gimmick? Just have people mingle and talk to each other

MyFavouritePlace · 26/06/2026 15:10

Your days sounds lovely and you are a thoughtful bride - I wish I was invited!