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Original poster

AIBU to find it creepy when my father asks my 4YO about girlfriends?

115 replies

FunnyHazelPeer · 26/06/2026 00:00

I have a 4YO DS. My parents are involved, relationship with my father has been strained but I have a good relationship with my mother so we are all around eachother.

Father asked my DS today how many girlfriends he has at school. I said that’s a weird and creepy thing to ask a child. He carried on saying I bet you have lots of girlfriends, all the girls love you.

At this point I snapped, and said to be quiet saying such stupid creepy things. DS looked at him like he had 4 heads - was very confused.

DS left the room and father told me I was being too sensitive he will have girlfriends. I said he’s FOUR!!!!!!!!!! It’s sooooo strange to be saying this to a child.

father said I’m controlling and DS will end up resenting me.

Am I in the wrong???? I think it’s creepy thing to ask???

OP posts:
Softshoegentlesway · 26/06/2026 11:17

Goldengirl123 · 26/06/2026 10:04

You are being ridiculous

I agree. Your son was looking like that because of your reaction, not because of what his grandad said.

Sarah2891 · 26/06/2026 11:13

YANBU. I hate any adults asking young kids if they have girlfriends/boyfriends.

When I was 8 my best friend was a boy and I remember how it annoyed me when my neighbour would ask if he was my boyfriend. Weird behaviour.

FieldsOfFields · 26/06/2026 11:06

They stamped this sort of conversation out in my children's primary school. I agree because it basically says you cannot be friends if you are boys and girls that you have to label it a girlfriend or boyfriend. We should be promoting friendships between whoever wants to be friends.

My son played with a girl, other children called her his girlfriend so he stopped playing with her because he was 8 and didn't want a girlfriend. Teachers stepped in and explained everyone is just a friend. It helps prevent the whole eugh a girl situation later too. What is wrong with being a girl?

What makes a 4 year old girl a girlfriend? Is it holding hands? What? I hate it with a passion.

gotmyselfintoapickle · 26/06/2026 10:49

I hate this too.

FudgeFudy · 26/06/2026 10:46

Isn't he just saying that so that your son says 'Eurgh girls are disgusting' or something similar, and he has a chuckle about how lovely and innocent he is? I.e. the same little scene that has played out millions of times since the dawn of time?

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 26/06/2026 10:18

Unless there is background you are not sharing you are being over sensitive.

Kids enjoy playing house/grown up, and it’s all just playing along with that. It is rather odd to leap from normal role playing kids do to “creepy”

Blades2 · 26/06/2026 10:15

Maybe it’s an age thing? I’m a grown adult but my aunty and grandad would prattle on about boyfriends up until I was 15:16, to be fair I think they just enjoyed the sport of me being little and going ewwwwwww boys NEVER when they would say it when I was small

susiedaisy1912 · 26/06/2026 10:14

In my experience this is an older generation thing.

Peonies12 · 26/06/2026 10:12

Very inappropriate, well done for challenging it. I'd never mention girlfriends or boyfriends to my child (not necessarily girlfriends either!).

Goldengirl123 · 26/06/2026 10:04

You are being ridiculous

FaceIt · 26/06/2026 00:29

Very inappropriate.
Perhaps it simply boils down to him not having great conversational skills, so that’s the best nonsense he can come up with?

Besidemyselfwithworry · 26/06/2026 00:21

Pinkflamingo10 · 26/06/2026 00:19

I’ve three small boys and this is 🤮

I absolutely agree
if this man wasn’t a relative you wouldn’t tolerate this so I’d be going non-contact with this vile creature

Pinkflamingo10 · 26/06/2026 00:19

I’ve three small boys and this is 🤮

Pallisers · 26/06/2026 00:10

You are not wrong. When mine were that age pre-school was very very firm about no teasing/chat about boyfriends/girlfriends. the kids were friends.

shadylane · 26/06/2026 00:04

You’re not wrong and people sexualising 4 year olds are creepy. Let them be little and bond with them over their actual interests rather than inflicting narrow views of how boys and girls should relate to one another.

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