AIBU to find it creepy when my father asks my 4YO about girlfriends?

Taraneese Ne Scots word.

Taraneasing kids has always been nasty with the intent to embarrass /upset.
Taraneasing/wind up.

This.
Just interject "or boyfriend" next time, it works a charm.

Eugh. My uncle and aunt would make comments like this all the time. Then, when my 13-year-old cousin announced he that he’s gay (blurted it out over Christmas dinner while they were probing him about how many girlfriends he must have!) they both said things along the lines of “well that’s ridiculous. You’re too young to know.”

I think people on this site because thankfully i don't meet people like this in actual life need to write a list of what offends you and what is acceptable to say because I can't keep up

🙄

Up until you were 3:16pm?

What time are you now?

Role play helps children make sense of their world. The boyfriend/girlfriend thing goes through stages but aside from abusive relationships it is not a sexual thing until mid teens usually.

YABU - you are projecting something which almost definitely does not exist onto the comments, possibly because you have prior issues with your father.

Boyfriend/girlfriend is a game that children have played for as long as I know. It’s a part of normal development. Posters who think this is sexualising children have a very strange view of the world in my opinion.

It's shit. I'm 60 now and used to get it all the time growing up from elderly people. They seem to like embarrassing kids. They need to stop it.

Its old fashioned and silly, but i don't think its creepy, and it is not intended to sexualize children imo.

@Thechaseison71

Lol I had a boyfriend at primary school age ( not at school obviously as was all girls) We had decided the deal was that we could be boyfriend/ girlfriend as long as we didn't have to do yukky things like kissing and cuddling.
Think only lasted a couple of weeks until I beat him in a bike race and he wasn't amused. Poor Trevor lol
But it wasn't sexualized in the slightest.

It's not so much the sexualization, most of the time it isn't about sex. It's the desperate urge to push people into coupledom which nauseates me.

Primary age children shouldn't be thinking about being part of a couple. They've got decades to do that, why can't they enjoy the freedom that comes with not having to be part of a couple!

Im old and think its creepy. Jimmy Saville used to say it to kids on his show ( yuk…)

I'd find it creepy and my response to your father would be to say I don't give a shit if you think it's fine, I as his mother am telling you it's inappropriate so either you adjust your conversations going forward or it will become difficult for us to be around you. Especially with his previous history and that your gut as a child was clearly a bit uncomfortable with him. Listen to that. You don't need anyone else telling you this is or isn't fine.

Gut is everything in these types of interactions. My 80 year old wee aunt asks my son this and I know it's a nothing, but if someone else asked him the same thing and it alerted something in me that made me feel uncomfortable with it then I'm going to act on that and wouldn't be waiting for permission to.

Noone on here can comment on anything other than this man's word, but you know your gut instinct towards him is to put in distance.

I think this is a generational thing. When mine were young (About 4 months onwards!) older people would stop to make conversation and it nearly always involved making reference to attracting the opposite sex. My DS (who was a stunning baby, I may add) always got "he"ll break many a girl's heart" and DD got "pink makes the boys blink". It was always said in a very innocent, endearing way and it was slightly irritating but I didn't think much of it. I'd definitely say something if a younger person said it though, it's really not the done thing.

What does that mean?

Ah it's just a bit of banter. I say it, always asking the kids how many girlfriends or boyfriends they have, thankfully the kids laugh and usually reply with numbers like 5, 10 . It's not sexual 😂

Whatever your dad’s mindset, you’d love it if the small child responded completely deadpan: “that’s a really inappropriate comment for a person of your age to make to a young person, grandfather.”

Ok so - this is generational isn’t it. That’s exactly what my grandparents would have asked me. And teased me about in a joking way - lost teeth = kissing the boys!

inappropriate now yes - having girlfriends/boyfriends isn’t ok at 4. Everyone is just friends. And secondly - don’t make the assumption your son will ever have a girlfriend, he might have boyfriends and that’s absolutely fine!

I wouldn’t say creepy is the correct term. Creepy would be him asking your son if he kisses his girlfriends or other inappropriate questions.

It’s an outdated thing to say yes because we shouldn’t be pre labelling anyone’s sexuality and also we shouldn’t pressure young children into thinking that friendships with someone of the opposite sex are something different to friendships with those of the same sex.

No, just sensible and not looking to get offended/outraged/indignant at absolutely everything.

What?