AIBU to find it creepy when my father asks my 4YO about girlfriends?

I fell into the trap of teasing my six year old son about a crush he had. All I did was humiliate him. And telling a child ‘you’re going to be a heart breaker’ or ‘I bet all the girls/boys are after you’ is just embarrassing and often not true and again humiliating.
Asking a lighthearted ‘you have a girlfriend’? Might be ok, but going on about it is not on.

Exactly a bit of fun for who ?
Children being put on the spot to be embarrassed and taunted.
I'm late 50s it wasn't funny back in 70s
He could talk to the child about a whole myriad of things but nah let's do the old tried and tested routine.

How is it funny? It's at best, for teasing a child and making them feel uncomfortable.

The type of adult who does that weird, loud voice around a child and tickles them too.

Just interact in a normal way, no teasing needed.

This thread has been an eye-opener. I've always thought of this as harmless, silly banter. No sexual connotations at all.

I was often asked if I had a boyfriend as a child. It was a bit of fun. Never would I have thought it was creepy. I don't think it is creepy now!

So is this yet another thing that is on the offensive list?! Sense of humour is slowly eroding and a puritanical, far more serious society is emerging.

Definitely a generation thing. My children would have been asked this and it never once crossed my mind as being creepy. Just an attempt to engage with my children.

We live in different times now and I understand your perspective although I think your reaction is more to do with how you feel about your dad generally than the comment itself.

I think this is what OP should tell her DF next time he says anything.

Yeah, if you say so 😂

Regardless of that though, the point remains the same.

Op Father has form for being a sexist creepy bastard.

This comment is embarrassing. Have this conversation with your queer friends and they will tell you how absolutely essential it is to challenge the assumption that every person is straight. That very assumption is damaging to children.

It's probably outdated but I don't think it's creepy because I don't think it's anything sexual or to do with being a couple.

I have no back story but OP obviously does. This is her father during her teenage years:

'But would wolf whistle at women when in the car, make innuendos to other women thinking we couldn’t understand (as I turned into a teen)
every female referred to by their appearance, for example the “girl who is well endowed”.'

Of course he is creepy. He was creepy when OP was a child and is still creepy now that she is an adult with her own children.

If you had read all OP's posts, you would realise that it's her dad who has the sordid mind:

'But would wolf whistle at women when in the car, make innuendos to other women thinking we couldn’t understand (as I turned into a teen)
every female referred to by their appearance, for example the “girl who is well endowed”.'

OP is obviously wary of her father's sexist comments due to him not even hiding his misogynistic and creepy behaviour directed at other women from his teenage daughter.

OP has clarified that her dad has always been a sexist creep:

'But would wolf whistle at women when in the car, make innuendos to other women thinking we couldn’t understand (as I turned into a teen)
every female referred to by their appearance, for example the “girl who is well endowed”.'

If he could say those things in front of his daughter, he isn't just someone who has made a bad joke as he's a bit out of touch. He sounds like a pervert who didn't even try and hide it from his teenage daughter.

But boys shouldn't be disgusted by girls, and girls shouldn't be disgusted by boys. They should be able to play and get along based on interests, not their sex.

I don't know..I absolutely hate talk like this but my in every other way wonderful and lovely neighbour says stuff like this from time to time. As did our cleaner. I hate to use this as an excuse (or accusation) but I think it tends to be more elderly people who say this and it was probably normal chit chat when they had kids or were kids. I don't think they mean it in a creepy way. I still don't like it but I normally just change the topic quickly.

Why not put words in your mouth? You’re doing that to your father to fit your extremely weird agenda. Imagine deliberately accusing your dad of sexualising a small child and calling him creepy.
If there’s any ‘sexualising’ going on, it’s happening in your own head.
Aren't you the one who called your dad pathetic and then refused to speak to him in his own home because he had his own mug? I recognise you from loads of batshit post (despite several pointless name changes).
You clearly have an axe to grind with the poor bloke but taking it to this extent is seriously disgraceful.

I wasn’t suggesting grandpa was part of the role play! 😂

Role play of the type you're describing is something that children do organically as part of imaginative/exploratory play. It's not something adults put on them. So this is doing nothing developmentally for ops child.

I remember this as a kid - any boy I spoke to my dad would go on about him being my boyfriend. To the extent that I’d blank boys from school if I saw them in the street because I couldn’t stand the teasing. Then their parents would complain I was rude. For what it’s worth, my dad wasn’t and still isn’t a creep, I think he just thought it was funny, but I wish someone had called him out on it at the time as I was so awkward and anxious as a kid anyway

I hope you have a backstory and not spouting that rubbish just from this post. Easy to not like it. Easy to quietly say it makes you or child feel uncomfortable but creepy? Poor man!

Did your dad used to say this to you OP when young?
I used to be teased like this as a child by a creep of an old man and he was a paedophile. So yes I'd be finding it very inappropriate and unsettling. Bare minimum it's unnecessary and making the child feel like a joke and up for judgement.

Well I’m the older generation and wouldn’t dream of saying this.

You’re going to absolutely freak out when they start getting married at school!! Stop being stupid. His comment was not made the way (several) your sordid mind worked.

Thats worrying.