To think this is actually selfish behaviour and not thoughtful?

I'm with you OP. Unfortunately being told firmly that the friend has done a kind and generous thing that you should all be grateful for tells you all you need to know.

Painful as it is, it may be time to leave the group. You will just be sat there seething or if you suck it up feeling resentful afterwards.

Oooh how exciting, this is the first time I’ve been fingered as the villain in a thread for disagreeing with the OP!!

👏

Brilliant.

I love my playlists but what I do is start off with playing the playlist then if people start having requests etc I then begin putting them in a “queue” in Spotify and move to using that for the ongoing music instead. It works really well as everyone knows their song is coming up. It only works when people are happy to suggest songs they want rather than just broadly complaining about the playlist itself, though…

It doesn't really matter if MN agrees that YANBU. The context which matters here is your social circle of ten friends, where you are the only one with an objection. MN can validate your irritation if you want but you can't cite this thread as evidence to make your friends change their behaviour. Sorry.

Well we’ve found the friend… 🤣

I feel your pain. I am now at a stage of hating ABBA and I used to love them, but when something is overplayed and not by your own choice it becomes a form of torture!

Have you explicitly asked her to add X, Y and Z to the playlist? If she won’t then that’s a bit odd

This is good.
she can’t get out of it then - I’d send the message in a public group so it’s witnessed!

I feel your pain OP.
in my case it’s DH who does this every fucking time we have guests round.

The key thing seems to be that everyone else is happy about it. Sometimes it is annoying to have to fit into group preferences, but that's life.

The loud and constant music seems to be the real inconvenience, and yet you focus on the fact that the playlist is created by one person who gets lots of positive attention for it.

Could it be that it is the friendship dynamics, rather than the noise, that is the real source of your upset? Are you feeling resentful of the group's validating focus on the music woman?

I can see your point in some ways...I love music and would be irritated by someone dominating the soundtrack to a shared weekend away, particularly if a lot of it was crap.
Not sure I'd make a deal of it though...I'd probably just let the person get on with it and stay quietly annoyed. UNLESS they pissed me off in other ways,THEN it might become a bigger issue.

I'm sensing some dislike of this friend.

I feel your pain here but also worry I can be a bit like your friend with the playlist so I can see both sides. Some people don't seem to mind what's playing and some people really do. But if you are going to be DJ then you have to include music everyone likes. Make your own playlist that people can add to and say we'll save George Michael for later (I think the singing is par for the course and you have to put up with it) and if people really object and will only listen to said playlist then something really odd is going on and I would also struggle to attend future events.

I think this is a bit OTT. Maybe just be honest, say I know it’s a kind thing to do, but I don’t like your taste in music, can we all contribute some songs to the next play list? If she says no, stop going on these breaks if they annoy you so much. Does seem a minor thing to get annoyed about to be honest.

If there are 10 people and 9 are happy then unfortunately you need to just suck it up. It’s just music for a couple of hours not the end of the world.

Nice thought to make a playlist. The thing about old friends and being 50 is that you should also be able to say to them to give the music a rest for a bit. If you can't then you or they still have some growing up to do.

Perhaps the other 8 like her choices? I couldn’t get worked up over this, instead I’d be contacting the play list setter with suggestions though do make sure they are not too “out there” I can manage George Michael as background music (not my personal taste but inoffensive) but hours of dance music, Ibiza club classics etc would send me to the nearest pub!

OP as you mention George Michael, I'm wondering if the Playlist is made up of popular songs from the time you were at uni with your friends? Might that be why everyone likes it and some sing along loudly - because it's oldies from the old days when you were students together? Many (most?) people do have a soft spot for that sort of nostalgia.

Surely you can put up with a bit of music you don't like for a couple of days. What a fuss about nothing. Either put up with it, or stay at home.

Two hours of the music cranked up with 2 people singing so loud that conversation is impossible is beyond mildly irritating.

This would be my idea of hell. One of my closest friends has very different taste in music to mine but she would never inflict it on me for hours at a stretch and neither would I.
You can't tune out irritating music. I worked at a place that aired a local commercial station, every few minutes it was " the reflex" or some other awful shite from the 80's.
Personally I wouldn't go but I would explain my reasons for not going. If they are good friends they will understand.

What type of music do you like @BlankTrust ?

I also think your feelings towards the playlist are just a sign that you're not feeling the group any more.
If you feel part of a group you love the songs playing while you're with them become songs you love.
Instead, you've described the opposite: song you used to like that are playing when you're with them have become songs you can't stand.
I rekon that's because you actually don't enjoy spending time with this group any more. Changing the playlist isn't going to change that.

Are they drunk by the time the singing starts? Are you all drunk?

What are the other 8 of you doing whilst the 2 hour duet is going on? Watching in silence?