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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to say no to my teenage daughter?

163 replies

NoTeaForMe · 25/06/2026 22:15

My 15 year old DD wants to go to the beach tomorrow with a few friends (school is closed due to the heatwave). It’s around 1hr 15mins away by train and they want to stay all day. Trying to give bare minimum facts, what would you say?

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 25/06/2026 22:32

Being on a train for over two hours in weather like this is bonkers.

Nonnim · 25/06/2026 22:31

if there’s no shade - and you’ve just said there’s hardly any - and you think they might be drinking alcohol ( when did this get normal for 15 year olds) then that changes everything

minipie · 25/06/2026 22:31

And to be honest we wouldn’t be going to the beach tomorrow. It’s too hot and I do think it would be miserable and dangerous with very limited shade.

Exactly. The fact that she hasn’t thought about this perspective demonstrates she isn’t grown up enough to think about dangers. Not a criticism, she’s only 15, I wouldn’t expect her to.

declutteredliving · 25/06/2026 22:30

I’d only be worried about her being in the scorching hot sun all day. My DD15 hasn’t asked but had she I wouldn’t know if I’d let her or not, sorry @NoTeaForMe I’m no help with this.

TeaDrinkings · 25/06/2026 22:30

It's not essential travel so no.
Fine if they stick closer to home.

Original poster
NoTeaForMe · 25/06/2026 22:28

Heereforagoodtime · 25/06/2026 22:23

You mention her age - I'd say she's absolutely old enough to go and am a firm believer that withholding independence does a lot more harm than good.

So, question to you, if she was 21, how would you feel about it? Or if your partner wanted to go? The answer to those questions should eek out your true concern. If it's a genuine heat / safety thing, her age is irrelevant, and make that clear to her.

Although I do think her age makes a difference. (It concerns me she won’t think of getting out the sun, drinking water etc etc.) I do also see your point. And to be honest we wouldn’t be going to the beach tomorrow. It’s too hot and I do think it would be miserable and dangerous with very limited shade.

OP posts:
Choice4567 · 25/06/2026 22:28

Absolutely not. It’s so hot there’s a risk to life. What are the chances of them staying the shade, reapplying sun cream and drinking enough water?!

Original poster
NoTeaForMe · 25/06/2026 22:26

PrettyLittleRose · 25/06/2026 22:23

The OP will probably say that her DD's school is closed tomorrow.

Show quote history

I’ve already said this actually. Not sure of your point.

OP posts:
minipie · 25/06/2026 22:25

Too many risks IMO

Drowning - see France
Sunstroke
Bad sunburn
Train breaking down due to heat/tracks etc & getting stranded either there or worse on the train
Alcohol

A group of 15 year olds has a high chance of doing something stupid - and in a very hot beach scenario a stupid decision could be very serious. IME even if each 15 year old is usually sensible on their own , teens do more stupid things in a group and in a “holiday” mood.

Isn’t there somewhere closer by they can go? Water fight in someone’s garden (offer yours?) and pizza?

Savethephoto · 25/06/2026 22:25

Totally irresponsible to be going out for the day tomorrow as not necessary. The heat is a risk to life. Stay home

PartoftheBand · 25/06/2026 22:25

PrettyLittleRose · 25/06/2026 22:23

The OP will probably say that her DD's school is closed tomorrow.

Show quote history

She's already said this. Does nobody actually read the OP any more?

youalright · 25/06/2026 22:25

Heereforagoodtime · 25/06/2026 22:23

You mention her age - I'd say she's absolutely old enough to go and am a firm believer that withholding independence does a lot more harm than good.

So, question to you, if she was 21, how would you feel about it? Or if your partner wanted to go? The answer to those questions should eek out your true concern. If it's a genuine heat / safety thing, her age is irrelevant, and make that clear to her.

Unless op partner is a teenager then your point makes no sense. I don't want to sound mean but teenagers are idiots they think their invincible and don't see dangers like adults do. I was the same.

PrettyLittleRose · 25/06/2026 22:23

spstchmu · 25/06/2026 22:22

School day?

Show quote history

The OP will probably say that her DD's school is closed tomorrow.

houseofisms · 25/06/2026 22:23

I live by the sea…

look how many kids lost their lives during the last hot spell? Even seasoned sea swimmers!

sea swimming when it’s incredibly hot is extremely dangerous as the body quickly goes into shock.

please make sure that if she goes into the water that she is aware of this and goes no further than waist height especially if alcohol and tomfoolery is involved?

Heereforagoodtime · 25/06/2026 22:23

You mention her age - I'd say she's absolutely old enough to go and am a firm believer that withholding independence does a lot more harm than good.

So, question to you, if she was 21, how would you feel about it? Or if your partner wanted to go? The answer to those questions should eek out your true concern. If it's a genuine heat / safety thing, her age is irrelevant, and make that clear to her.

Wagyue · 25/06/2026 22:22

Absolutely not.
Its a health and safety thing.

Can they hang out at yours?
Is there a nearby park with good shade for a picnic?
It's too hot.

Wtafdidido · 25/06/2026 22:22

I would say yes but on the condition her life 369 remains active and she checks in regularly and answers her phone if we call her. If she’s not happy about this then she does t go

Garfieldloveslasagnepie · 25/06/2026 22:22

My DD14 was down the beach 45 mins away all day yesterday with her mates she had a blast

youalright · 25/06/2026 22:22

I was allowed to do this at this age but I never let my daughters as I don't like the thought of them in the sea without me being there and especially with friends who they will be showing of infront off. If it was an 1hr 15 to a city for shopping id have no issue its purely the beach that scares me

spstchmu · 25/06/2026 22:22

PollyBell · 25/06/2026 22:19

I cant think of a reason to say no

School day?

PrettyLittleRose · 25/06/2026 22:21

No. Because the trains are so unreliable at the moment. My 2 DC have cancelled plans for this week/weekend, because of the intense heat and the unreliable trains. There will be other times. It's only June. The temperature is due to be in the 30s again tomorrow. So no.

Also, as has been said, we've been WARNED to only travel if necessary, so to travel for a jolly at the beach is ridiculous.

.

WorkCleanRepeat · 25/06/2026 22:21

God no. It's far too hot for the beach (depending on where you are of course)

The distance and travel wouldn't bother me if it wasn't for the weather warnings.

NotAnotherScarf · 25/06/2026 22:21

Id say yes. I was going off places like the center of Bristol city with mates from about 12. If you believe her and the mates are sensible then say yes. Ensure she has money (cash) for emergencies, sun cream, and advice about the sun and let them go. She's 15. Next year she could be travelling much further for work/college and for longer.

Meredusoleil · 25/06/2026 22:21

No. The whole point of the school being closed is that's it's too hot in the classrooms and there is a danger to life. So they should be safely at home where they can't overheat!

Conchiglie · 25/06/2026 22:20

I would say yes

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