AIBU to say no to my teenage daughter?

I'm assuming all of the people saying 'no' because the heat is a 'risk to health" never go on holiday abroad.

I am in Australia and had this exact issue with my DD16 last summer when the temp was going to reach 41 degrees. I initially said no way but she kicked up such a stink I let her make up her own mind after explaining heat stroke, sun burn, skin cancer and skin damage risks. She sensibly decided to stay home. I think the main issue was she wanted to make her own decision and made the right one once control was given back to her.

I’d so no I think, it’ll be very hot and very packed But then again I would have done it when I was 15 and it was fine. It was never this hot admittedly

Having spent a couple of hours on a train today, the air con was broken and in fact for some reason the heating appeared to be on, I wouldn't recommend train travel. There were lots of cancellations too. I'm not even in the extra-hot area.

I would say yes, based on the following:

• it is agreed exactly which train times she will use to come and go (ideally buying time specific tickets)
• she is required to "check in" by text every couple of hours (eg "thats us just arrived x")
• she applies spf 50 sun lotion under your gaze before leaving.
• she takes spf 50 spray with her and promises to re-apply every 2 hrs (just after she texts you)
• she takes water with her and promises to sip it throughout the day
• she has some money with her, to eat and in case of some emergency
• she feels confident enough in herself to undertake this day out
• she understand that, if she f*cks this up somehow, she wont so much as walk to the end of the street alone in future

I would bet money she will totally ace it and show how responsible she is, under these reasonable conditions.

And I am an authoritarian, patriarchal ogre - "a man" - if I can give her a chance, so can you!

When my daughter was in Primary 5, she came to say her friends were going to shops about 15 mins walk away, and asked could she go too? I asked how she felt about going - she confidently said she wanted to go and so I consented - but we agreed which exactly way they would go and return, in case I needed to look for them.

Was that with her BF's family? How old was her BF when she was 15?

We live 2 minutes from the beach and tomorrow, like today, will be indoors with the blinds down, house cooled overnight as low as possible, drinking water. The temperatures are exceptional and many people don’t realise the dangers of sunstroke and heatstroke coupled with severe burns. We’ve seen first hand the emergency services being called to deal with the above. Not party poopers but just aware of the dangers - it’s not just a day to go to the beach. You are not being unreasonable.

No. I was a bit shocked when my 17 year old went down the river at 5.30 this evening. It's too hot.

do you have a garden they could all come to instead! Paddling pool shelter food on tap and toilets!

It gets cancelled and? how on earth did parents raise kids in the past without neurosis?

Is it a beach with lifeguards? That would make a difference for me. I’d much prefer my kids at a lifeguard manned beach than other water areas.

The train could be an issue though depending exactly where you are.

The other parents are being irresponsible IMO. Don’t be swayed OP

What kind of sea is it? Calm and sheltered or strong tides and windy? when we were 15 after GCSE’s four mates and I rented a cottage on the north west coast and had a few nights there . Maybe a couple of us were 16 come to think of it but fully independent at that age! Went on the train. Are your daughter and her friends sensible types?

I think it was more common for 15 year olds to drink in the 90s. It’s really not a new thing.

No. Too hot. Beaches are exposed with no shade.

And have you seen all the sexual assaults happening now at Bournemouth beach? No way.

Depends on the railway. If Southern, I'd say probably not!

The train home might get cancelled

No. Travel has been warned against unless essential and the heat makes the risk of accident or incident much higher. Having a 15 year old brain makes the likelihood of them forgetting to drink water/remembering to drink alcohol/take risks in the water/get burned/be impulsive much higher than even in.a year's time.
Any other non heatwave day probably yes depending on the group and her general maturity..

At any other time I’d say yes, but in this heat, I wouldn’t let her go. The trains will either not be running or will be packed, and there is unlikely to be any shade at the beach. The school is closed to keep everyone safe. Tomorrow is not the day to go to the beach. I’d be worried about her getting sunstroke! Have you got a garden they can come and hang out in instead?

I let DD got to Crete with her bf for a week when she was 15 😂but they are still together 8 years now and are very happy so it all worked out fine. They need a bit of freedom at 15!

Think I'd be concerned about the current train issues and being stuck on long bus rides in the heat getting back. That's without the lack of shade on the beach, forgetting to reapply sunscreen, risk of sunburn, dehydration and then the risks of swimming in the sea in the heat. Even the most sensible of 15yr olds can be swayed by their peers not to be sensible.
It's hard as you don't want to spoil her fun but there's probably other parents of the group that will be saying no. Can you text any of them to see what they've decided?

Age definitely makes a difference. You’re responsible for the 15 yo, a 21 yo is responsible for themselves - and by then should have learned all the ‘take-care-in-the-Sun’ lessons when being guided through childhood.

Why can’t they go next weekend when the temperature will be safer