AIBU to say no to my teenage daughter?

Because it's a whole day at the beach, I'd be concerned about shelter, a pop-up shade tent, for instance. I know as I write this that no teen is going to the beach by train carrying such a thing.

Seemingly not & the they sneer. 🙄🙄

Well my 16 had been to the beach with his mates multiple times in the last few weeks but he has just finished school. He eas allowed to go mast year when he was 15 too. However, we live near the sea so have spent a lot of time with our kids at the beach. Ds surfs and knows all about rip currents and how cold deep water is not nearly the same as a swimming pool and is very sensible.

She’s 15? Surely she knows how to keep herself safe in the sun and water?

At the temperatures now hitting Europe? Up into the mid- and late 30's.

It's unprecedented. People are dying in France - 40 I last heard. And Spain, more like 400.

Let her go to the corner shop OP and get a pint of milk, bring it straight back home. See if she still wants to go out again.

I wouldn't. Chill out at home I say.

There are hundreds of plane loads of people jetting off to holiday destinations a similar temperature to lie on a beach. Struggling to understand how someone doing the same thing in the uk is risking their life?

At 15yo I would have said yes and just really re-inforced how important it is to re-apply sunscreen. I'm confident my children can swim in the sea though and could from an early age. If they weren't I may be hesitant.

But I'm not really sure how you would stop a 15yo going anywhere that they really want to?! I was quite headstrong at 15 and would have just gone anyway😂

The OP literally said very clearly in her post that her DD’s school is closed tomorrow.

She’s 15? Surely she knows how to keep herself safe in the sun and water?

Yes, let her go. Make sure she has her phone on her, charged.

Any other time. I hear it will be up in the mid 30's tomorrow.
I'll barely get out of the house.

The op said in her post school is closed

Nine people died in water during the last hot spell.
Trains are utterly unreliable in this heat.
It’s going to be 35c+ in certain areas tomorrow - beaches are not known for shade.
School is closed because there is a danger to life -not to go for a jolly.
Im all for kids being allowed to be independent-but this would be a hard no from me.
It sounds like a recipe for disaster.

That is so tough when you're the only parent saying no but I think as long as you explain to her your reasoning, and that you just love her too much to allow her to take those risks, that's all you can do.

Yep. I absolutely do when it comes to situations like this. Nothing sanctimonious about it. You’re allowed to say no to teenagers you know. And yes. Just a bit of balance.

Literally in her first sentence Mystic Meg.

Id let her go with a parasol, suncream, a rash vest that must not be removed. My dd 15 is sensible and she'd stay shaded and hydrated and cool.

It's much cooler by the sea.
As long as she has sunscreen she'll be better off than where you are.

There's your answer, then. Absolutely reasonable and rational conclusion. Explain it to her in those terms - you / other adults wouldn't do that tomorrow, because of the conditions, and as a fellow human being the same safety concerns apply to her. You can do the whole "I know you're old enough to understand this now, so I'm glad it won't be an issue like it might have been when you were younger". If there's push back then "Your lack of understanding shows your immaturity and lack of appreciation for the dangers which only further justifies my decision".

Oh do give your head a wobble. I have never heard such a pile of sanctimonious crap.

You love your children more because you wrap them in cotton wool. Dont be so bloody daft!!!

It’s not the heat.

It’s that she’s out of your control. And in a year’s time there will be another issue that means you won’t be around her every second of every day. And so you’ll have another reason.

When our children are tiny we know they will walk and fall and cut their knees. And that’s hard and painful. But it’s also how they learn. If we go the other way and cushion them too much, they can’t make any decisions to do anything unless they have parental or coach approval.

Definitely on my watchlist,

This sort of heat is going to happen more and more frequently.

I assure you that the good 15 year olds of warm countries manage to prevail. Unless she is going to be locked in a car I cannot see what on earth you are fussing about.

Good grief. She is 15 not 5!!!

No

I would say yes.

If you know and trust her friends and her, and they understand how to avoid sun and heat stroke, then I would be fine with it. Will be cooler by the sea and they can dip regularly to keep cool.

15 is the time to be doing these things!

Not all teenagers are idiots. Some of that will come down to who they are as individuals, some of that will come down to their upbringing.

If the conditions are a concern, they're a concern for all, regardless of age.

If OP's daughter isn't sensible or hasn't yet been educated on the dangers / given the freedom to learn gradually, then that's something else.

But a 15 year old absolutely could be perfectly safe to go on this jolly (provided the conditions aren't the issue).

It would be a definite no from me for so many reasons. And if you get the “all my other friends are going”…my standard reply is “but I’m not their mum. I love you more than I love them. It’s a no”