AIBU for refusing to reschedule my interview again for my mum?

I can tell you that ANY rescheduled interview looks bad. Any. Let alone twice

OP didn't say Drs appointment.

Medical appointment could include getting biopsy results, or something to do with a pregnancy that wasn't progressing as well or a mental health appointment. My adult son is having sedation on Tuesday and whilst he is perfectly capable of getting there and back on his own, he HAS to have another adult accompany him, otherwise they won't do the procedure.

I am sure OP weighed up the importance of the appointment against the importance of the interview.

If you ask to reschedule again, I think you can kiss the job goodbye.
That said, I’d sacrifice any job to have the chance to take my mum to another appointment. Not a healthy viewpoint, maybe, but the truth.

After the first reschedule you would be on dodgy ground. A 2nd reschedule no chance

I’m surprised the role hasn’t been filled already. Your mum is being out of order

Its not like she arranged it then canceled my understanding is the first date clashed with the hospital visit so employer rescheduled it, thats not being flaky but if it happens twice it creates an image of someone with too many commitments out of work and will be distracted/ not willing to enslave herself to her employer. Which many employers expect these days.

TBH it probably doesn’t matter as the employer likely made up their mind the first time you rescheduled.

If you reschedule again you aren't going to get the job.

DP's a Senior Exams officer and was offered an interview for Director of Exams at a school on the day of GCSE Maths, so an important one that they would have known about (I knew that school used exactly the same board as I deal with sixth formers who attended there and see the results data).

He asked in good time - as the exam timetables are known well in advance - to reschedule until the following day where there were no core exams on that basis.

They withdrew the offer because they wanted an experienced, currently employed in Exams with direct experience of the board they used who was available right in the middle of one of the core subjects. I suspect that what they were actually hoping for was somebody who could do a session running the exam.

Absolutely keep this interview appointment, you've already been given far more flexibility than others get - don't push your luck to appease somebody jealous of both your child and your opportunity.

She's being selfish and petulant.

On other note if I was the employer and you asked for a 2nd reschedule, I'd probably not bother and would think work is not a priority and you were unreliable.

This post is the esemplification of the squeezed in the middle women or sandwich generation. Women try to get improve your career after the childcare/maternity penalty but now we end up having to car for kids and elderly parents while our husbands and brothers are never asked.
I would send your mum some articles about that and tell her to ask your brother
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/11/how-to-cope-when-both-your-kids-and-your-parents-need-help

Yanbu

If she isn't taking no for an answer then tell her you asked and they refused?

Your mum can reschedule or go with someone else!

You might as well kiss the job goodbye if you reschedule a second time. Your mum is very selfish.

I couldn’t agree more. My Dad yesterday accused me of “abandoning” him (quote) as he’d decided he wanted to go shopping - my mind reading skills failed me and I went for coffee with the girls (well iced smoothies lol) after my joint pain clinic (if any men had been present they've been welcome!). I got back to his house around 3. The shop shuts at midnight (supermarket)

He needed milk - he only had 8l in the fridge - yes 8 litres (2 x 4 litre containers) - he likes to have 12l at any given time 🤷

he looked shocked when I pointed out it hardly constituted an emergency

they book appts I have to take them to without checking with me and then looked shocked when I have to rearrange

OP don’t reschedule but I hear you on your Mum

If you try to reschedule again I suspect you won't even get the interview. It just looks massively flaky and they don't know you at all so have no reason not to go with that first impression.

It would have to be a hospital appointment for me or a family member who was very seriously ill and didn't have other options for me to consider it.

YANBU. Sounds as if your Mum has others she can ask. The company may not even agree to reschedule a second time but if they did they may count it against you when it comes to their scoring at interview.

Weird.. I could never put myself before what was best for my dd. How selfish, and she knows full well you taking her is not the same as putting your own child first.

Does your mum have a history of controlling and jealous behaviour?
I have adult children I can't imagine asking the to reschedule an interview to take me anywhere.
She is being extremely self centred

Did you ever refuse though and point out to your mum that she has four sons to ask?

Totally agree with you. I would not inconvenience my adult children.
OP, if you reschedule you won’t get the job.
Of course your children are always more important than your parents.

We have had this with mum. YADNBU. She can reschedule the hospital appointment if it is v important to her that you come, especially if it's not urgent.

Also, voice of experience: you need to have some boundaries on this topic. This situation will happen over and over, especially if you never say no.

DSis and I have had to explain to mum that if she wants / needs us at something she needs to check we can do it first because we have things we can't move.

Is your Mum always this self-centered?

I can’t believe your mum said that if you could reschedule for your DD, how could reschedule for her. As though she’s ranking you all, and putting you at the bottom! Every day MN brings me a wtf moment.

I'm sorry but I wouldn't be considering you after the first reschedule, and I would probably only be seeing you out of courtesy.

Reschedule a second time and you have shown that work is far too low down your list of priorities, whether you can help it or not. I definitely would retract the offer of an interview, even if you subsequently said you could attend.