AIBU to assume an almost 12-year-old no longer believes in Santa?

Grown adults believe in god, do you question their intellect? Maybe they want to believe cos for some kids the world is a scary place and what's wrong with having a bit of magic in your life?

You’ve probably saved her from being ridiculed at school.

I think it's really nice for children to still say they believe, and at 12 they are going through a lot of changes in life, it's nice to retain that little bit of innocence of childhood. If she wanted to still believe, that's lovely. I would never assume children 'know' or want to say they know, if that makes sense.

Regardless of what you assume and presume - You are not her parent and it wasn't up to you to go on ahead with your presumption. Just be more mindful. It's not difficult.

As the saying goes, "Assume makes an Ass out of U and Me."

😂ridiculous

If a year 7 child still believes in Santa, her parents have done her a terrible injustice by not telling her.

Some kids really want to believe in magic. I have one of those, I suspect I'll have to tell her when the time comes.

my DD still believed until 12. it was a beautiful thing.

I agree that the safest would be to never assume, though I personally would think kids stop believing way earlier than that.
Depends on whether they actually believe or if its a running joke. The whole Santa thing could come up ironically quite often even between the adults, me and my friends are well in our 30s and we still talk about Santa getting us the perfect gifts for each other, so 😂My nephew is 10 and he doesn't believe as well but he may joke about it too, like last year he saw old family pictures that I colorized in Photoglory and showed at the family gathering and he was like "Wow, Santa really went out of his way" (it was around Christmas time)

I distinctly remember still wanting to believe at 11, almost 12. I was in year 7 and we were discussing Christmas when the topic of Santa came up, I can’t remember what my friends said but it shattered any remaining illusion I had. I think I knew really but desperately wanted to cling on. I’m sure your niece knows really.

If a 12vyear old in school said they believed in satna they'd get the piss ripped out of them big time

I’ve 6 year old twins.
My daughter has said “I know Santa’s not real”, but in a tone that wants reassurance he exists. I just say “of course he’s real”!
We’re going to Lapland to see Santa this winter. Her brother believes and he says Santa has to be real, since we’re going to meet him.
My daughter says she’s going to pull his beard to see if it’s real!

I hope we get a few more years of them believing.

Completely agree (along with a strange man in your child's bedroom being acceptable because he is bringing presents) , we never told ours that he was a real thing but we always left presents in a stocking. We have a real issue with the whole idea of 'good' children getting presents and 'bad' children not. What message does that send to children who are from dysfunctional families and get no presents. That they are 'bad'.
If ours asked we always said it was us leaving them. The problem we had is they didn't believe that he didn't exist until they were about 8 despite us telling them each year we left the presents not an obese guy dressed in red employed by an American Corporation😂 They had majical Christmases growing up and we still have full family Christmas as adults, but it never involved entering into this crazy conspiracy.
Still believing at 12 is just about the parents not wanting their children to grow up. It's pretty ridiculous for a 12 year old to genuinely believe in the idea of a fat block flying around the world delivering presents. It's irresponsible for parents to perpetuate this belief for their own ends at this age.

Being able to imagine something does not equate to believing in it.

I wonder if in a world of tech ,SM and so on .clinging to believing in old fairy stories is a kind of comfort? Probably safe not to mention any more to anyone !8

Only for the terminally unimaginative

I think that if she still really believed, there would have been more of a reaction from her when you said it. The fact that she seemed to take your comment quite calmly suggests that she already knew (I would be surprised if she really never heard anyone saying he wasn't real in primary school).

Your IQ is 150 yet you believed in Father Christmas until you were 11? That’s very hard to believe.

You can’t be the only person who’s said something like this to an almost 12 year old - I assume she goes to school and mixes with other kids her age? Her mother is delusional.

You're not wrong to assume a secondary school aged child would know FC isn't real. You didn't do anything wrong.

Of course she knows Santa isn't real. She's 12!!

Tbh I made sure my eldest 2 knew before they went to secondary and will do the same with my youngest - sorry but you are just setting them up to be bullied otherwise!

So I would absolutely assume a 12 year old knew the truth

I still believe in Santa and the happiness he can bring and the sadness when certain gifts out of stock.

Also he must be real ass people go visit him in his real home and now you can also track him on the phone 🎅

I would definitely internally assume that a child in senior school would no longer believe but I probably wouldn't risk saying it out loud. I actually think it's a bit cruel to not tell a child the truth before senior school though, although nothing wrong with faux believing for ever.

I sense a competitive mumsnet theme that the younger your kids are when they stop believing, the better and more bright they must be in comparison to others, which is an absolute load of old rubbish IMO.

I’m with you OP. Until coming on Mumsnet it would not have crossed my mind to assume any child over about 8 still believed in Father Christmas but on here it’s apparently quite common.

Personally I find it hard to believe all these children of secondary school age genuinely believe a magic man in a sleigh pulled by reindeers delivers presents to every child in the world whilst they’re asleep on Christmas Eve so I assume most are just playing along for their parent’s sake. Otherwise I really worry for their critical thinking skills as harsh as that sounds.

I sound like a kill joy but I’m really not. It’s possible to carry on with the fun and the ritual of putting out the mince pies and stockings in the evening and asking if “he’s been” in the morning without actually believing it. Me and my DM still play along in our 30s and 60s!

I would be highly surprised if a 12 year old hadn’t figured it out! And the fact she didn’t react when you said that is further proof. I think she’s doing it for her mother too.