AIBU to assume an almost 12-year-old no longer believes in Santa?

We informed our dd first year of secondary so probably 12 (early birthday) she was devastated, she genuinely still believed at that age. Its unusual but it does happen.

I'd be surprised if she didn't know. My then 8 year old looked it up on google to confirm his suspicions and told me quite bluntly 'I know you're lying Mum' 😂

She’s too old at 12 years old. I think it’s wishful thinking from her mother, wanting to cling on to the childhood magic.
On the remote chance she does still believe in Father Christmas you have done her a huge favour in bringing her out of it in a kind way.

It's not your job to lie to children.

I would assume she didn’t believe but not say anything just in case. Mine both stopped aged 9/10 which is probably considered late. I do know of a mum who wrote a complaint email to her son’s secondary school for talking to them about the myth of Santa. The teacher had assumed all the year 7s didn’t believe any more and apparently this lady’s son did and she was outraged. So maybe it can happen that some do still believe but it’s got to be unusual (if no SEN etc)

I would have assumed the same at the age of 12, but I do tend to check with the parents first. I wouldn't assume that they know by 8 either. I had to tell my son last year when he was 10 as he was starting secondary school. My friends have children around the same age, ranging from 8 to 16. The 8 year old and another boy a few months older than my son still believed, so I made sure to tell my son that he shouldn't spoil it for them.

I didn't figure it out until I was 10. And that was because my mum was careless with the wrapping paper!

(I don't know if it makes any difference, but we are all ND).

On some level the girl knows Santa isn't real, I'm sure. But it's a game some families like to play, pretending together that they still believe. As far as I know my Mum still believes, and she's in her mid seventies.

My son is 11 and hasn't believed since he was about 7 - we still put a stocking out with a mince pie and a carrot and a nice drink for Santa and the reindeer etc, but it's just a lovely thing to do now rather than anyone actually pretending.

But I would say at least 50% of the parents or kids in his year at school claim their children still believe. Obviously I've no idea how many of those are just going along with it to keep mum & dad happy!

I don't really understand why people are so desperate to keep up the pretence once their children are suspicious, but each to their own.

Unlikely but not impossible I’d say.

Unless your niece lives in an isolated world wrapped in cotton wool or has learning difficulties i dont see how she could still think Santa was real.

Assuming no SN, TBH in this case I’d think the girl does know, but likes to pretend she still believes, to please her mother. And/or she thinks she’s more likely to get whatever it is she’s asked for!

I think its safest to never assume.

My DS(8, 9 in Sept) I think still believes. There have been a few comments from school friends but he's not given into it yet. He does have a younger sister so might be holding out for her a little.
We had the conversation the last mums night out and I'd say 75% still believe at 8-9 years in DS class. Mums with older kids said it was a gradual reduction in those believing between Y 3 and Y 5.

It’s easier to just not discuss Santa with children, because you never know.

It's obvious that the niece doesn't believe any more, but hasn't told her Mum yet, or assumed her Mum knows.
Surely your SIL cannot be this unaware?