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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have not backed down on this shit of a man on the train?

109 replies

Chefpig · 25/06/2026 08:02

I went to the toilet on a busy commuter train. Came back and the person I was sat next to has his feet on the seat I had vacated. I said excuse me please to him and he begrudgingly moved his feet and sat down. Hes way over my seat with his body anyway with the way he's sat but when I sat down he said 'for fucks sake'. When I asked if there was an issue and not to say for fucks sake to my simple request, he said I was sitting on his knee. I am absolutely not touching him. I told him so and that the way he is sitting means he is taking up some of my seat and that hes very rude, including putting his skanky feet on the seat. He shut up then, but its time after time of men (and a few women, but mostly men) who have their bags on the seats or are just shit fellow commuters with their incessant sniffing and just being unpleasant when asked to move their belongings to free up a seat. AIBU?

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IsThistheMiddleofNowhere · 03/07/2026 08:45

NeelyOHara · 27/06/2026 07:15

This, it’s not the OP who is coming over as odd. I had no trouble understanding what she described.

I thought the same. It's quite easy to work out how he was sitting if he was sat beside her and put his feet on her seat when she got up. Don't know why people felt the need to question it.

Buffs · 29/06/2026 23:56

LasVegass · 25/06/2026 08:10

I just have to move carriages when there’s any sniffing. I hate it.

I too go bonkers with sniffing. It amazes me how people sniff having no idea how disgusting it sounds to some people.

pouletvous · 29/06/2026 22:36

Nobody should put their feet on the seat on a train

entitled arse

eastegg · 29/06/2026 19:12

Womanofcustard · 29/06/2026 11:48

As an aside, my daughter practised her reading on the ‘please don’t put your feet on the seats’ stickers.
They have taken all the stickers away now and replaced them with a recorded message (which is also not grammatically correct imo - 2 phrases in the present tense and the last phrase in past tense).

Ooh you sound like me! I haven’t noticed that particular announcement, but it’s reminded me of ‘we apologise for any (the any is slightly emphasised in an annoying way) inconvenience to your journey’ which always irks because it’s not inconvenience to my journey, it’s inconvenience to me. It’s disruption/delay to the journey, inconvenience to the passenger.

tommyhoundmum · 29/06/2026 15:59

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/06/2026 11:34

Bags can go on laps.

That’s what laps are for.

Where there is a seat I always say can I sit down please and don't do eye contact. That's on the bus. On the Tube it's different . Again I never give eye contact when I get on but if it's full someone always leaps up and offers me a seat for which I thank them profusely and smile. Yes, I am old but don't expect a seat automatically because of that.

LilacReader · 29/06/2026 14:07

andfinallyhereweare · 26/06/2026 23:22

Wow you’re rude. They are not questioning the story just how he was sitting with his feet up if next to you. Was he crossed legged? Did he have his back to the window and feet spread out…. Maybe it’s you who is a bit “doh”… (horribly rude term) I had sympathy for you until I read that. Maybe you’re someone who just likes a fight and could get in a fight in an empty room.

100% agree

Womanofcustard · 29/06/2026 11:48

As an aside, my daughter practised her reading on the ‘please don’t put your feet on the seats’ stickers.
They have taken all the stickers away now and replaced them with a recorded message (which is also not grammatically correct imo - 2 phrases in the present tense and the last phrase in past tense).

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/06/2026 11:34

Normallyinthepool · 25/06/2026 18:31

I always ask for a seat from people who think their bags need one, as I figure some people won't have the confidence to do so.

It's really selfish behaviour

Bags can go on laps.

That’s what laps are for.

AnonDadUK · 29/06/2026 10:57

See plenty of teenagers (equal mix of male and females) doing the same thing

CurdinHenry · 28/06/2026 15:52

RVectensian · 28/06/2026 11:11

Of course you are. They paid for 1 seat not 2. And if they won't see sense, find staff.

Staff don't have the right either.

Florin · 28/06/2026 15:44

Illegally18 · 28/06/2026 15:35

Really??!!!!!😵

Honestly! I can’t get my head round getting ready for work and thinking I will just pack my toe nails in my work bag so I can trim my toe nails on the train 😂 the fact it’s happened twice though is crazy so it isn’t just one person thinking this!

Illegally18 · 28/06/2026 15:35

Florin · 25/06/2026 18:27

Completely right to tell him off, good on you. Not once but twice (and 2 different people) my dh has sat next to someone on a train who has sat there taken off their shoes and then their socks and put their socks on the table and then got out their toenail clippers and cut their toe nails on a train on the hour long journey into London. I honestly wish I was joking but some human beings are vile!

Really??!!!!!😵

Justamum36 · 28/06/2026 15:17

I’d love to be friends with you! I have so many commuter gripes, the absolute worst is the music without the earphones but they definitely need to bring back the “no feet on seats” stickers and “keep your bags off the seats” announcements. People with luggage in the accessible seating also very much bugs me and those in priority seating and not looking up at each stop to assess if anyone might need the seat more than them (although I don’t question this as I know many have hidden disabilities so I’m hoping this is the case and they’re not just selfish). I did have to ask people in priority seating if any were able to stand once though because a heavily pregnant woman looked as though she was going to faint and nobody had had the manners to let her sit down!

I think people have become more selfish public transport users in the past 10 years or so. I think announcements and posters would help at least make them aware that it is (or should be) socially unacceptable.

Anyway…not in least bit unreasonable and he sounds like a selfish manchild who shouldn’t be allowed out until he learns proper manners.

RVectensian · 28/06/2026 11:11

CurdinHenry · 28/06/2026 07:19

You're not entitled to force anyone to move it either

Of course you are. They paid for 1 seat not 2. And if they won't see sense, find staff.

Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 28/06/2026 08:02

If he’s ‘asleep’ drop your bag on his feet, he won’t know, he’s asleep…..,.
Then cough in his face.

HoraceCope · 28/06/2026 07:58

bags on seats really annoy me
in crowded trains and people have their bags on their seats with people having to stand Angry

CurdinHenry · 28/06/2026 07:19

AImportantMermaid · 28/06/2026 05:23

It doesn’t matter why people are doing it. Unless they’ve bought their bag a seat they’re not entitled to use it.

You're not entitled to force anyone to move it either

AImportantMermaid · 28/06/2026 05:23

CurdinHenry · 25/06/2026 19:28

You are pretty selfish not to wonder why people are doing it.

Besides which people with bags DO need more room than those travelling without. Sit next to a bagless bloke next time.

It doesn’t matter why people are doing it. Unless they’ve bought their bag a seat they’re not entitled to use it.

Friendlygingercat · 28/06/2026 03:56

I was sitting in the middle seat on a plane when the man seated in the aisle touched me up. I elbowed him hard in the chest and began shouting at him, calling him a dirty effing pervert. When he leaped out of his seat I got into it and refused to allow him back. The cabin crew had to find him another seat. Every time I walked past him to the toilet I called him a pervert and reminded the people sitting next to him what he had done. I bet it was not an enjoyable flight for him but i\ got very high on the power trip of humiliating him. I bet he never tried that again.

I once worked as a dominatrix on a telephone chat line so don't try it on with me, sonny.

CelestialCandyfloss · 27/06/2026 17:40

AtlasPine · 27/06/2026 07:10

I am SO going to tell the next feet on seat wankbadger to move his filthy trotters. A perfect foot insult.

😂😂😂 definitely do it!

PMA1981 · 27/06/2026 11:08

YANB to challenge and he’s out of order.

But, in my experience women are by far the most serial offenders when it comes to bags on the seats.

MaryMaggot · 27/06/2026 10:52

Chefpig · 25/06/2026 08:14

The absolute clown still hasn't moved his arse over and is pretending to be asleep. What a twat.

Start farting and burping.

Enko · 27/06/2026 10:33

Yanbu. However I have to say I find this occurs both with male and females equally. Especially the bag thing. However I see women spreading over double seats often too.

The putting your feet on the seat thing disgusts me. You are walking on dirt with those feet and expect others to sit on that so you can be "comfy"

2dogsandabudgie · 27/06/2026 10:30

andfinallyhereweare · 27/06/2026 07:45

@AtlasPine @NeelyOHara please share how you think he was sitting, it’s bugging me. Maybe with one foot over the knee?

I'm trying to picture this too. Imagining a middle aged man looking like a child with both feet on the seat. Could imagine a teenager doing it, more flexible.

Flamingojune · 27/06/2026 10:15

Bananadramatic · 27/06/2026 07:55

Not at all. I do the exact same thing to all manspreaders (or people wearing their backpacks on their backs when it is standing room only, or people playing music full blast) on public transport.

I have done this hundreds of times over the years. 95% of the time, they do what I ask them to do - with a sigh sometimes.

Otherwise, I have been called various names (absolutely fine), had the odd altercation (adrenaline pumping but I hold my own and tell them exactly how rude they are being) and no real progress, and once had a man play elbow wars with me. That was the worst.

I speak up not only to solve the issue itself but because I hope if enough of us do it, offenders will gradually feel too embarrassed to do it in the future or other people will feel they can speak up themselves having seen this generally cheery redheaded woman (me) do it with some success and where nothing too bad happens to her.

Yes i agree. I do the same.

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