To think I’d hate being without kids every other weekend in case of divorce

I’m sorry but separating a 6w old newborn from their mum is shocking. Puppies don’t get taken from their mums this early.
I’m sorry this happened to you it must have been so hard.

I can offer some perspective. My ex now has 7 days of overnight contact and then I have 7 days where DD is back home. I refuse to refer to it as shared care because the court made an order that she lives with me and spends time with him. In any case, the adjustment to having 7 full days without her was hard to begin with, especially as he's abusive and won't allow her to speak to or about me during her time with him. Dd knows she can freely speak about him at home and call him if she misses him (she never does).. slowly, I began to adapt, I got a second job which I do in my child free time, I go out with my friends, I'm always invited on days out (9 times out of 10 I decline as it doesn't feel right without DD but I appreciate my friends including me), I'm a big presence at her school and attend everything so I am lucky enough to see her some weeks when she's with her dad. It's getting easier now she's nearly 8. We have such a lovely, close bond and she always cries leaving on a Friday, I just reassure her it'll be ok and I'll be there to pick up next Friday.
Like you, I never spent a day apart from her. I found therapy useful, I did a lot of it and then finally plucked up the courage to ask my GP for a mild dose of antidepressants, I can honestly say it's helped no end. I just get on with it now and focus on making my time with DD as fulfilling as possible.

It can be hard but your time with them is yours alone. I missed DC but needed the break too. When they get a bit older they become more independent

I split from my DDs dad before she was born and went for her first overnight at 6 weeks. It was hard but you adapt, and a very lovely midwife pointed out that she doesn’t just belong to me, she has 2 parents and I have to learn to share - it was harsh at the time but she was right. Plus I love my free time! Me and her DF now coparent incredibly well and he stays at my house if I need to work away etc. You get used to it very quickly. She’s now 10 and next month on her birthday we’ll spend the day together like always.

Lifes too short to be married to an idiot. Your children also need both parents.

This! You need the time for yourself. It’s nothing like parenting as a couple

I am very happily married but sometimes fantasise about having joint custody. Every other weekend and some school holiday weeks to myself sounds like bliss to me!

I had both my kids full time and ended up taking on a lot of responsibility I didn't really want in the end - not them but a weekend off would of been nice. They both moved on and got to do what the liked. I stayed with the kids and felt my life hadn't gone anywhere.

I think it is harder in some ways when they’re younger but is a lot about whether they’re happy and adjusted and settled. If they’re happy, I’m happy: it is horrible having to get them ready and pack them off when they’re not keen 😢 (mine are older), but overall I love the time without them and it’s lovely to have them back after a short break and feel refreshed as a parent. It also means that I’ve been able to start a new relationship and keep it separate from them.

I've had that situation for the last 10 years. I still hate it.

IME as soon as you've learnt to love it and have things to do on your weekend off, he'll decide that having them isn't convenient and stop.

I learnt to love it. I saw friends, met my now dh dating, took long baths etc. it was really lovely to have and then when they came I was fully rested mum.
hard at first but once I made peace with it I enjoyed it

Well since I always did everything for everyone 24/7 it ended up being a nice break and it meant he did far more parenting than he ever did when we were together.

So it worked well

Yeah, I feel like I didn’t finish my thought properly earlier. It was REALLY tough at first, but I did find a way to make the most of my week without them. I was really shocked that my XP wanted 50/50 but actually it improved their relationship no end.

It's quite nice to have some child free time. My 2 go to my parents for a few days during the school holidays 2-3 times a year for a few days. I go away with my friends for a weekend, DH does the sane. The girls have been doing sleepovers with Rainbows and then Brownies since they were 5.

You learn to enjoy it. Girls nights are always at my place now since my friends kids are at
home.
I learned to love it.

And here’s me wishing for a child free night 🤣

I agree you get used to it and tbh it’s probably a healthy compromise to never being away from them.

though I think being a SAHM you have bigger concerns if you split, like an income

Your kids would hate not being with you every day? Don't you think they'd miss their father at all?

Different situation, but i had a hospital stay and suddenly had to be without kids for an extended period. I had seen ds2 every day of his life until that point and only a handful of days without ds1. We all adjusted because we had to and it is now much easier for them to spend a night or two elsewhere.

More concerning is how vulnerable you are as a stay at home parent with someone threatening your financial security. Job hunting seems in your best interests now, as you would be expected to work if he leaves you.

I love it, it's my favourite thing about being a single parent!
I get to be myself and have some peace and space to do my own thing every other weekend which leaves me being a better parent the rest of the time because I don't feel so burnt out.

I went from being the primary carer to 50/50. It was really hard at first, but 100% the right thing for the marriage to end. I feel for you.

Like everyone says….you get used to it.
Id never spent a night away from my dd until my ex moved out after I split with him. It was awful but he’s their dad so it wasn’t like I was leaving them with a stranger. My dc were 6 and 3 and have adapted so so well. Probably don’t remember us ever living together. I’m not saying my ex is perfect but he’s a good dad

Im going through this situation just now. Stbxp has always prioritised work and his social life, working upwards of 80hrs a week for most of ds life.
Now we are separating he wants to take me to court for 50/50 access. In reality he just doesnt want to pay maintenence.
The thought of ds who is only 5yo being away from me physically hurts my heart, and given he won't let stbxp even do bedtime with him, it honestly blows my mind that he thinks its best for ds.

I mostly love it. Childfree weekends away with my partner doing sporting type activities which wouldn’t be possible with children. Sometimes I can’t be bothered to rush about getting them there on a Friday night but love the opportunities I get to alternate kid focussed stuff and proper time for myself. Also, don’t think it would be fair on my kid free partner to have to have my kids around every single weekend.