AIBU to feel helpless after seven months without contact with my daughter

Get a MacKenzie friend. It’s a law specialist who can be your buddy and help you with legal knowledge so you can stand for yourself in court. Worth doing if you can’t afford a solicitor

So sorry to hear what you're going through. Try contacting Rights of Women. They have a range of legal advice lines including one specialising in family law.
https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

Are you in a union? If so, they often have access to legal support (not just employment related). Some home insurance policies do too so it's worth checking. Failing that, have you tried CAB, Women's Aid, domestic abuse charities, local MP, local councillor? Really hope things get better for you soon

I don't understand why on earth the OP would be making an anonymous referral to MASH when she literally has a social worker doing an assessment? She needs to tell the social worker herself!
Maybe the social worker isn't responding, in which case if contact with the manager doesn't resolve it, a complaint might be useful.

Because my understanding from this (and I maybe wrong) is that the SW is not responding to OP and isn’t answering OP questions. You are entitled to change SW or any healthcare professional for that matter if they are not providing the care/ support you need.

I am fully aware what a s37 is, anyone can put a referral or concern into MASH at any time. OP has fled a DV situation, I am assuming she is scared of her ex, therefore an anonymous referral from her or a friend to the MASH is something that could be added to a case that is already ongoing. Not everyone will know there is a court case pending when they refer a child in and that should never stop concerns being reviewed or listened too.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. My ex did the same and at around the same age my dd left and I didn’t see her for nearly two years. Her dad was the fun parent in her eyes. There were no boundaries at all. At the time she thought that was great. He lied and badmouthed me to his friends, the police and social services. My job involved working with vulnerable children and he tried so many times to have me arrested so I would lose my job. Fortunately they saw through him but because dd was older and said she wanted to stay with him they couldn’t do anything.
In the end all I could do was wait, and get on with my life as best as I could.
as she got older I saw her occasionally but he still had a really strong hold over her. I just made sure I was always there for her and never, ever criticised him.
Eventually as she got older she began to see him for the narcissistic arse he is. The closer dd and I got the angrier he got and he really showed his true colours. She went no contact with him and his family a few years ago. As I’ve said I never badmouthed him, and I have always wished that she could have some sort of relationship with him. That will never happen because, as is so often the case with these men, he hates me more than he loves our dd. While he’s running around telling anyone who will listen that I destroyed their relationship with my lies, she can now clearly see who was telling the truth.
it is incredibly tough but stay strong and I hope you have the same outcome.

Oh sweetheart. Lots of others have given you advice and I don't have any practical advice to offer. Just keep going and just focus on each day being a day closer to getting your daughter back home.

On what grounds was a PSO issued? I really don't understand how you haven't gone to school to see her prior to the PSO. You need to get a solicitor - seek legal aid if you have too

Make a complaint why?
And she doesn't need to do a MASH referral, there is already an allocated social worker who is completing a section 37 report which is a court directed safeguarding assessment.

I agree with @itsgettingweird, also see your GP in relation to your mental health and refer yourself to the local talking therapies services (used to be called iapt) you need to be able to fight your corner here.

I would make a complaint about your SW and request a new one, I would as part of the complaint ask for a visit and support for your case. If you think your ex is taking drugs/ drinking you can report him anonymously to the MASH (the link will be on your local authority website). Get safeguarding involved.

Some solicitors will do a free consultation- is there any near you that do this? Can CAB help at all or give you a pointer around legal
support.

Social services are instructed to complete the section 37 but can't influence the court proceedings otherwise. They can't enforce contact or alter hearing dates. Has he poisoned her against you? Is she 14 years old?

Sorry you're going through such a devastating time op. I might have missed it but are womens aid involved?

Has your dd changed school? It sounds like you still have parental responsibility so is there anything in place to stop you from turning up to collect her and bring her home? If there is a lengthy police report log of domestic violence plus evidence of addiction I find it surprising that social services aren't working with you on this as those are very clear and evidenced risks.

Id be asking the social workers to establish contact even if it's just letterbox and to give letters directly to her. Parental alienation like this is usually looked at as emotional abuse. It doesn't say how old your dd is, they are usually deemed gillick competent at around 12ish and are able to choose where they live. Have you met with her school to discuss your concerns?

I'm sure it's highly emotional so prioritising your mental wellbeing is essential op. So going for counselling, engaging fully with women's aid etc. They can do some advocacy work and they would be able to recommend where you can get free legal advice from. As far as I'm aware domestic abuse also qualifies you for legal aid depending on where in the UK you live? What support services have the social workers put you in touch with?

An hour is nothing I commute to work every day this distance. If you have family and friends an hour away, reach out don't suffer alone. I still don't understand on what basis he took her away. Was she placed in his care by social sevices? Court? Why exactly? It can not be false allegations of drink driving, she was with you her whole life. I feel some details are missind and is ok if you don't want to share, but if the Court gave him temporary custody it must be a main reason, especially if you were a dv victim.

Oh love this is a nightmare I am so sorry. I have no advice but wanted to reach out and offer a cyberhug. Hopefully lots of useful advice will follow soon.

I know it means nothing now but the day WILL come, when dd realises what he has done to her and she will come back to you. You can’t believe everything she is saying, or not saying, remember ur ex will be manipulating and threatening her too, she will be too scared to say anything to you and he will be telling her u don’t want her etc. he is a cruel man but honestly, his day will come when he is the one all alone. For now you need to look after ur son, make sure his care and your home is impeccable for anyone having to assess you, and you really really have to go to your GP and get some mental health support. U also need to speak to your local councilllor about legal assistance. Be brave, be proud of how far you have come, and do ever ever forget your daughter needs you, no matter what ur scumbag fucked up ex says to her. Write letters to her, give them to social workers. Let them do their jobs and give you and dd support. Take time, clear your head then get back in the game. Your ex won’t win this war. Best of luck .

Can you apply for a prohibited steps order to stop him removing her from the country.

Also find out about how you alert authorities to a child being taken abroad without the parents permission.

It sounds horrendous. I’m sorry you’re going through this

If your mp is any use at all, go and see them.

If you can’t afford a Solicitor you could try and find one that will give you a free consultation so they can give you some pointers. Try Citizens Advice or see if there is a legal advice centre near you where you can get some free advice.

Are you in UK? Look for organisations/ charities that support women whose children have been taken abroad by their ex-partners. It might depend which country your daughter is in, who is best to help.