AIBU to ask why ADHD and autism are dismissed as disabilities?

ADHD is underdiagnosed in this country. Only 3-5% of people have it.

Maybe educate yourself via the NHS Taskforce as opposed to Facebook

www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/report-of-the-independent-adhd-taskforce-part-1/

At DD’s school it’s 4 in her class of 26. That I know of for definite.

There are three in my youngest child’s class.

This own op has 4 or more Sen children. That’s some high stats.

Old neighbour 2 autistic children one side the other had a mix of various including a global delay.

I think I know more autistic or sen children than I do NT these days tbh.

Yes, very common, ‘my adhd brain’ etc

Found it!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5486988-to-ask-if-youre-a-teacher

I wasn’t talking just autism but ok.

Everyone on my Facebook seems to be getting adhd diagnosis as adults currently. All privately mind.

Then the statisticians need to resign in disgrace as probably every poster here knows way more than 1 child with autism. I saw a thread where teachers responded and it averaged about 5 per class of 30.

No they absolutely don’t. Three main areas are focused on in diagnosis and the bar is high. Only 1% of people have an autism diagnosis in the uk. Stop talking complete nonsense.

Ironically, I might be autistic (DS is diagnosed, he takes after me so much), but my inclination to rule following and rigid thinking mean I can't self diagnose or identify myself as autistic.

(I'm not judging those who do. Waiting times for adult assessment here were two years, then funding was decreased so goodness knows how long it is now.)

We are heading that way where the label is useless. That’s the point isn’t it.

So many people have traits and things that could get them that official label it’s stretched too far covering too many people to mean much.

agree completely. Funny how their mums/girlfriends don’t need to accompany them on a date or to a social event, but they need 24/7 handholding for basic tasks like waking up in the morning or taking a shower? No, I wasn’t born yesterday.

I have been very depressed on and off. I do get that overwhelming feeling of not wanting to get up, but I don’t believe it’s so strong that somebody wouldn’t do it if offered a million quid. They CAN do these things but say, and talk themselves into believing, they can’t.

Ok, everyone is autistic then.

Thats honestly where this is heading, I’m not even intending to be rude.

Or successful people with autism don’t know they even have autism and haven’t been or just don’t want to be tested because they don’t feel the need to be.

So many adults getting tested in their 40/50’s who has worked and raised families till that point who then collapse once they get a diagnosis.

So many adults who have built in coping skills because they just had to learn how to are very likely to be on the spectrum somewhere but they learnt how to cope and just get on with it. Retired people even getting tested worked their whole lives but suddenly need to get tested.

I run my life on lists and alarms and double triple checking things. For example locking the door I even go back and check my cameras to make sure. I was actually part way though adhd testing as a child around 11/12 when I decided because children know everything that I didn’t want to sit there and talk to these people so refused to engage and was taken off the assessment path. Never tried to go back to it though because what difference would it really make. None.

70-80% of autistic people
are under employed or unemployed. Successful autistic people running businesses are hugely rare.

My husband is probably autistic and says data entry is very soothing.

Yes so someone running their own business and home, or successful actors etc are not significantly impacted.

Whilst I have every sympathy with the issues you very obviously have to deal with on a daily basis, in my opinion it is very irresponsible to have 5 children. Particularly the latter two knowing they stand a very high chance of being ND also. 5 children is challenging if they and the mum have no additional needs.

Disability isn’t the same. It varies massively and something that significantly impacts life is a disability.

You say that as though everyone experiences things exactly the same though
No, it's exactly the opposite of what I'm trying to say. The very large majority of people have to overcome some difficulties that their friends, neighbours, co-workers don't experience. There are MANY reasons why doing something might be difficult.

Difficult does not mean disability. There are of course different levels of difficulties and some people do have to give significant efforts to reach things that others gave managed with lesser efforts, but it's likely that other people have overcome even harder circumstances than us to get there too.

We need to focus on our own goals and pushing our limits, rather than feel sorry for ourselves because we perceive that we have it harder than others to reach our goals.

And thats why the umbrella term has become meaningless.

I have colleagues wth children who have the same disabilities as yours, who will never live independently or function for themselves and they're highly offended by someone who works full time, brings up kids, runs a business, is an actress or musician successfully, calling themselves disabled because they have ASD.

Its nowhere near the same at all.

Are you sure you can't take any of the meds? They're pretty diverse. Often it's the blood pressure element that rules out stimulants but some of the non-stimulant meds actually lower blood pressure etc.

What you describe sounds like textbook dopamine deficiency. Before going back on the meds I'd sit there on a Saturday morning putting off the housework. Now I can work a 50+ hour week in an active job, hit the gym Mon/Wed/Fri, and still get shit done.

The little voice in my head is still trying to make excuses but if I just attempt to get on with it I find I can actually do it.

You say that as though everyone experiences things exactly the same though.
As I said above, my son with autism is non verbal, doubly incontinent, cannot dress himself and will never live an independent life. That is a disability, and someone with autism saying ‘I have autism and I cope fine’ won’t change that.

Fair point. Poor phrasing. I meant that I have had to work harder to achieve the same things as other similar people (my psychiatrist said this - I haven’t just made it up).

I am sorry you are struggling - have you looked into how duloxtine affects noradrenaline in your brain? I am not a medical professional so please see a second opinion or do research but my understanding is that noradrenaline can make you anxious if you have too much and duloxtine can mean you have trouble getting rid of noradrenaline which is why is not an ideal drug for pots patients (although some use it). This would affect your sleep.
Also, too much histamine affects your sleep - a low histamine diet could help.
Are you by any chance bendy in some joints etc? I have been doing a lot of research for a family member and strong link between the hyperbole genes and ND / depression etc.

Also, although I'm the queen of procrastination, ADHD does give me one advantage, I'm super efficient. I'm fast and can multitask. So that means I usually accomplish tasks twice as fast as my DH, who is the exact opposite and a model of getting on with things as and when they need doing.

We balance out almost perfectly. He could say that that the fact everything takes twice as long as me, because his brain is not as sharp and he is a perfectionist, that makes it him disabled.

Where does it end then!