AIBU to ask why ADHD and autism are dismissed as disabilities?

Sorry but this isn’t true. At work I see many autistic people on PIP perfectly well able to do things that I know, if it was represented on the application form, they would NEVER get points. They’ve clearly lied/exaggerated.

Anybody with an autism diagnosis has a life severely impacted by it as it needs to be severely impacted to get a diagnosis. Autism is a protected disability, you don’t get to pick and choose on behalf of people.

She wouldn’t get it for adhd. There are 4 of us in our house that have adhd and autism. Only one qualifies for PIP. Her severe adhd that has caused hospitalisation is not what gets her her PIP. None of us have oils get PIP for our adhd alone and it’s had a catastrophic impact.

I think in the future there will be many more names for what falls under autism/adhd currently. I have traits, and a dyslexia diagnosis and there is a diagnosis of autism in my family. But I wouldn't say my traits have been life limiting at all, unless you include avoiding night clubs, hyper focusing, constantly tapping or twitching, finding organisation a challenge and not being able to touch a peach as problematic. I'm certainly not going to pursue a diagnosis, life has not been a struggle for me generally, but maybe others would?

My wife is physically disabled following cancer. She has a metal bone replacement from hip to shin which hurts and makes her unable to walk very far, or stand. She walks with a faint limp and is an infection risk. She requires an operation to replace some of the connections and has been told she has to wait until her leg gives way due to the very real chance of contracting MRSA in hospital. She was told to shield during Covid.

My wife was on max rate mobility DLA as a child. Her condition has not improved, but she is able to tolerate pain better so she will walk further than she did as a child. Eg she can take the children to a theme park as long as she has multiple sits, and with the expectation that the next few days will be agony whilst the leg settles.

She doesn’t qualify for PIP.

Very ironically, she would if she claimed for her ADHD as it causes her life struggles and she has to be self employed as she lacks the skills for regular, consistent work. She has paid thousands in fines for late tax filing - she just can’t do it. She is now on a special scheme with the tax office to help her. I organise her life and everything to do with the kids and the house - she can’t keep it in her head and suffers with fatigue (either due to the cancer or ADHD - doesn’t matter which) and will become so stressed it limits her function. She is extremely talented and an expert in her field, it’s just the ADHD that limits her. She works part time and is trying to see if she can retire in a few years (at 55) as she is struggling more and more as she gets older.

A friend claims for FMG. She runs the local scout group and takes them on hikes and camps. She presumably has bad days, however is able to commit to the weekly session which is active. She also works as a carer for children. She is high rate mobility with the car to prove it.

The problem is the way the system is set out. My friend will have honestly filled out the form. My wife did too (but only completed the mobility section in terms of her leg).

Yes this.

Someone can have the condition but not be as affected by it as someone else. Thats the same for many illnesses and disorders.

The other narrative that has been really damaging around these conditions is the 'Ive got a superpower', a specialness. No other disability or illness is spoken of or treated like that. Akin to this concept of 'being my true self/me', which then translates as just personality quirks

It cant be both.

Anybody with an autism diagnosis has a life severely impacted by it as it needs to be severely impacted to get a diagnosis. Autism is a protected disability, you don’t get to pick and choose on behalf of people.

My wife is physically disabled following cancer. She has a metal bone replacement from hip to shin which hurts and makes her unable to walk very far, or stand. She walks with a faint limp and is an infection risk. She requires an operation to replace some of the connections and has been told she has to wait until her leg gives way due to the very real chance of contracting MRSA in hospital. She was told to shield during Covid.

My wife was on max rate mobility DLA as a child. Her condition has not improved, but she is able to tolerate pain better so she will walk further than she did as a child. Eg she can take the children to a theme park as long as she has multiple sits, and with the expectation that the next few days will be agony whilst the leg settles.

She doesn’t qualify for PIP.

Very ironically, she would if she claimed for her ADHD as it causes her life struggles and she has to be self employed as she lacks the skills for regular, consistent work. She has paid thousands in fines for late tax filing - she just can’t do it. She is now on a special scheme with the tax office to help her. I organise her life and everything to do with the kids and the house - she can’t keep it in her head and suffers with fatigue (either due to the cancer or ADHD - doesn’t matter which) and will become so stressed it limits her function. She is extremely talented and an expert in her field, it’s just the ADHD that limits her. She works part time and is trying to see if she can retire in a few years (at 55) as she is struggling more and more as she gets older.

A friend claims for FMG. She runs the local scout group and takes them on hikes and camps. She presumably has bad days, however is able to commit to the weekly session which is active. She also works as a carer for children. She is high rate mobility with the car to prove it.

The problem is the way the system is set out. My friend will have honestly filled out the form. My wife did too (but only completed the mobility section in terms of her leg).

I know but it’s taken for a ride. The criteria are such that they can ONLY be met by people who are very physically disabled (eg a feeding tube and hoists) OR people with ‘neurodiversity’ who can do enjoyable things alone but also somehow need somebody to supervise their every movement otherwise. I’m sorry but it’s so blatantly abused, I see it every day at work. People on PIP for ADHD claiming they’re so absent minded they need somebody to remind them not to leave the hob on, yet anything that benefits them or is enjoyable and suddenly it’s amazing what they can do without supervision

Autism and ADHD range in severity like most other conditions. At the more severe end they definitely are disabilities. In the UK whether something is classed as a disability or not depends on the severity and impact, not the specific condition. Something is classed as a disability if it has a substantial, long term effect on your ability to do daily activities.

If life is such a struggle for them then why would you bring innocent children into the world. It’s not a compulsory requirement or something which can’t be prevented? Someone who struggles so so much can’t give a brood of children everything they need. They’re setting up another generation of young autistic children to fail. Whywould you do that intentionally? It’s incredibly selfish to put your want for a child ahead of the quality of life they would actually have. After having three I would hazard a guess that they already had enough to contend with so why have more? Makes no sense to me ?

There are some seriously scary opinions on this thread; some utterly ableist and othera verging on eugenics....virtually referring to 'useless eaters'...

Mumsnet has become a very cruel amd nasty place of late...

A bunfight aka people not agreeing with you

No it does not. But I will not engage you in a bunfight about benefits, and certainly not about me.

That answers my question 🤷‍♀️

Her kids are here now, so what do you gain by this?

I have not said anything about that on here at all, so I will be keeping your bun and not throwing it back.

Oh, it’s not my business but it’s yours to champion the rights of benefit claimants whatever the circumstances? I take it that you don’t work either?

Some people can work and are totally incapable of looking after kids.
And some people can't work but can look after their own kids.

She has been assessed by the DWP, and they will know about her kids. Her assessment and medical records are nothing to do with you. Stop making it your business. Plenty of other hobbies out there.

She's made her life far harder than it needed to be because people championed her desire to have multiple kids knowing she probably wouldn't cope and knowing they would very likely be on the spectrum too-possibly severely.

leave me gasping for breath, physically stimming to the point my muscles are crying out and I still can’t stop, endlessly ruminating over conversations I had to participate in against my will.

Why on earth would you have that many kids if this is the result of doing school drop offs?!

It is if she is too ill to work but can look after 5 ND kids.

This is nothing to do with working and claiming benefits. It is about ASD/ADHD.