AIBU to ask why ADHD and autism are dismissed as disabilities?

@TigerRag well take it up with Greta Thunberg then.

That's totally different to describing it as a superpower and telling people who disagree that they're wrong

Yep, no one goes to their GP and asks to be assessed because they are good at something, or has a "superpower".
They ask to be assessed because they are struggling.

So you don't think anyone with autism should ever describe it in a positive way, even though that's her lived experience. OK.

Agree, I have a chromosone abnormality (not DS) which affects grpwth and comes with potential risks to vital organs, and it's important not to downplay this, to ensure that the necessary regular health checks are done

I've seen that too. I used to have a friend whose DS has down syndrome. He'd now be 21. I last met him when he was about 11 or 12. It was like having a toddler. I am aware that some people with DS are fairly independent

Maybe it's not as bad as superpower but I've also heard people calling Down syndrome a "chromosome difference". I remember thinking wtf? So the increased risks of congenital heart defects, leukaemia and early onset dementia are just "differences"?

The cynic in me thinks it's awfully convenient to use language to play down the potential hardships of living with a disability when things like adaptations and DLA cost money.

DLA is to help with the extra costs disability causes.

I completely agree with you which ever way you look at it autism is by definition a disabillity
It impacts people in many different ways and some people are more impacted then others but it remains a disabillity
Nobody would try and minimise other disabillties yet t its constant with autism.

No I didn't say that. But this superpower stuff is just ridiculous. You don't get it with other disabilities. It just ignores the difficulties we have

@TigerRag so you want young people diagnosed with autism to purely see it as a negative?

It minimises the difficulties we have. I've seen people dismiss autism as a disability and say it's literally a difference. I wouldn't have been assessed if I wasn't disabled by it

What support would you like? What would be an actual, tangible help to you?

What you're talking about sounds incredibly challenging, but I honestly couldn't begin to articulate what would help. It sounds like you've tried a lot of coping techniques.

Surely if you're allowed your opinion then another person who is on the spectrum is allowed to see it as a superpower if they want? I'm literally just quoting her as I was reading about her the other day. It's not my opinion it's hers, someone who has autism.

There are plenty of autistic people (whether diagnosed or undiagnosed), who are highly successful and well represented in professions like science, medicine, tech, and law. But at the same time there are many who will never be able to work and will always need 24h care, alongside those who can only work part-time, from home, or with a lot of support. Autism is such a broad spectrum, but we just don't really have the words to distinguish between different presentations or severities, and quite often, when people do try to talk about these differences, they get jumped on and accused of being offensive.
This lack of nuance just leads to people talking past each other which causes so much friction. If you are the parent of a child who is severely disabled by autism, it's completely understandable that you’d find it hurtful when people call it a "superpower" or focus only on highly successful autistic people. Especially if you are constantly having to worry about your child’s future and what will happen to them when you are no longer around, particularly with all the cruelty shown towards disabled people who aren't able to work.
But equally, if you are autistic yourself, or the parent of an autistic person, and you see some or all of your traits as a really positive part of who you are, and don't feel that you have a disability, it's also going to be hurtful when some people insist that autism is always a severe, entirely negative thing. The spectrum is too vast. It makes it incredibly difficult to have constructive, empathetic conversations about autism. We need to find terms we can use to actually distinguish between all these very different experiences and specify exactly what we mean when we talk about them. These days if someone mentions Autism, or says that they or their child is autistic, I have absolutely no idea what they mean, or what kind of support they may or may not need. The term has become so broad as to be almost meaningless.

This is just a question out of interest but how did you find out he could read fluently if he is non-verbal?

The other one that irritates me
Is "its not a disabillity its a different abilty "
Autism can be very disabling
And this kind of stuff minimises it and helps no one.

It's an odd attitude to have. I mean we don't call any other disability a superpower

I hate this rhetoric. I don’t feel like my DS has a superpower when he won’t go in the bath so I have to give him a stand up wash, or when I have to pin him down to cut his nails, or when I’m driving a 60 mile round trip to get his hair cut by a specialist 1:1, or when he can’t tell me how his day at school was beyond “good day”.

I know what you mean. I don’t claim DLA because I’m not convinced we need it, despite a woman I spoke to from the council’s SENCO team saying we do. My youngest has SEN, undiagnosed autism I suspect. We have to buy expensive foods for him we wouldn’t otherwise buy e.g innocent smoothies, Nakd bars, bear yo-yos. We also have to drive 30 miles to a specialist hairdresser because he cannot tolerate having his hair cut. Ditto specialist dentist 15 miles away because he will not let our family dentist look.

He’s thankfully ok with clothing but we do buy him lots of extra stuff attached to whatever his special interest is at any given point, right now the Gruffalo so he has every thing possible related to that. I don’t think people realise those sort of things when they see an intelligent well adjusted 5 year old. He’s technically non verbal but can read fluently so he’s an odd case.

Just stop it. You’re talking about a minute number, tiny. I work in schools and have children with autism and ASC.Many many children aren’t even in school and many have both autism and adhd. Many are still waiting for diagnosis and kept from treatment and support. The numbers of ND children that are battling mental health struggles often quite serious on top too are huge. All of this let alone the ND itself and the bullying has a massive impact on outcome.

ASD has resulted in an awful lot more bullying. It’s horrid and schools are 100% useless at dealing with it cause they’ve fallen down the ‘be kind to the poor bullies’ rabbit hole cause it’s cheaper and easier than handling the situation. But it’s also resulted in very, very high exam grades. Look at the research department of any very hard STEM subject and they are full of neurodivergent people. same with software development, AI etc. Some neurodivergent people can really thrive in environments based on logical rules.

I think that the superpower narrative can work for some but for most it's fake positivity that dismisses the very real struggles that come with living with a disability.

It has made my children all seriously unwell with many many hospitalisations, much misery and risks to life. They have been the focus of bullying, abuse and misconduct across services. It impacts and blights their life massively day in and out. How is any of that a “ superpower”?

This. Autism has made my life a lonely misery. And I didn't get any of the 'superpowers' that are meant to come with it.